the other side
Bittersweet Is The Fall
Bittersweet is the fall in Maine. Literally. We have a vine here known as the ‘asiatic bittersweet’ (celastrus orbiculatus) that produces attractive red berries. They are yellow at first, but as they mature the outer shell cracks open to expose a magnificent crimson berry with a yellow coat.
Crafters here in New England traditionally use this vine to make holiday wreaths and decorate their homes. It also adorns the roads of Maine with the combination of fall leaves and green of pine trees.
But the bittersweet vine does its name justice in both sweet beauty and bitterness, life and death, because it is not only adored for its versatility as autumn décor this time of year, but it is also widespread, severely invasive and destructive. It suffocatingly twines high up around trees and sprawls over lower plants and vegetation.
It is not a native plant to the region and was originally brought here as an ornamental plant. As the vine begins to spread and grow to the top of trees it becomes the vine of death for the tree as it covers it completely. A bitter vine.
The fall is indeed a bittersweet time of the year. The natural cycle of life and death. The bittersweet time of year is the time to harvest food for the long winter ahead. Get our homes ready for the snow, darkness, and ice of winter.
In Maine the old timers say ‘button up the house’ for winter. The sweet part is people are thinking of the holidays ahead and gatherings with family and friends. There are traditional recipes. Who will make the best pie? Everyone has a favorite. Whose gravy is the most delicious? It’s a time of gratitude for everything that is good in life.
The Special Magic Of Autumn
I’ve often wondered if in a former lifetime I might have had a birthday in the fall? More specifically, I sense it must have been in the month of September, because I typically experience increased awareness and great change during this month.
Being a Gemini, born in June, this makes absolutely no sense, but I don’t always pay attention to what makes sense. I rather go with what feels right.
I feel a special magic in the air in the fall that I do not experience in any other season. In the autumn the world of the living seems to move closer to the afterlife and our deceased loved ones.
Traditionally All Hallows’ Eve on October 31st is believed to be time when the veil between the two worlds is most thin and we can more easily connect with our departed loved ones on the Other Side.
In the Northern Hemisphere September is the time of year when Mother Nature is shedding her leaves as the cooler air moves. Might this also be a time for us to let go of the aspects of our lives that no longer serve us? And could it be that our deceased loved ones in Heaven support and help to facilitate this need for us to surrender and let go?
The energy of September is an in-between state of transition that will ultimately spark us into new beginnings. But sometimes we need a little bit of extra magic, as it takes much courage to let go of the old and familiar to step onto a new path.
Our family and friends in Heaven want to see us progress and grow while in the Earth realm. Our loved ones who have crossed over to the Other Side can see forward and backward in time. They have the ability to open doors for us who are still in this life.
When Spirit Comes To Say Goodbye
Many people assume that their loved ones will say goodbye to them before they leave this earth plane. I beg to differ. In my experience this is not always the case. I know this without a doubt from personal experience.
In 2010, for example, my favorite sister became very ill. She was taken to the emergency room with kidney and liver failure in early August. She was admitted on a Monday, and by the Wednesday around dinner time, I received a phone call from her husband telling me that she had passed away.
Seconds after receiving this awful news, as I turned to my left, I saw her sitting next to me. Her apparition was looking at me, as if to say, “Are you okay? How are you taking this?”
Indeed, she appeared to be more concerned for me than herself. After all, where she was going now, she wasn’t going to have any more health problems or human suffering. Once her spirit saw that I had regained my composure, she left my side and continued her spiritual journey to Heaven.
My dearest sister had merely come to say goodbye, until we meet again. Rather than despair about her passing, I was suddenly relieved her soul was heading to God’s Holy Kingdom. There is after all no finer a place in the entire Universe!
In the summer of 2012, my other sister informed me that she was having difficulty breathing and was seeking medical advice about it. Sadly, at the same time, my mother was also having medical issues. Soon after, my phone rang very early one morning. My heart raced as I ran to answer the call, fearing that my mom had taken ill.
Instead, a man’s voice was saying, “Where is your mother? I need to speak to her urgently!”
Grandma’s Love Was The Best
I remember what Grandma was wearing when she passed away. I also recall exactly what she said and everything else that happened that day, right down to the violets I picked in the backyard to place in her hand. She was wearing an oversized Winnie the Pooh T-shirt that could have been a night dress, I’m not sure. She had her red robe on and black slippers lined with greyish fluff.
She was told she was being taken to the nursing home, but it was actually hospice she would be going to. She could no longer walk and had fallen, and no one was able to pick her up. Not even myself. I wish I could, but I just was not able to.
I sensed she wasn’t to going be with us very much, and I was very upset about it. But constantly having to give her blood transfusions and her being in so much pain, it was the right decision at the time. I have made peace with that now.
Settling her into the hospice, Grandma was adamant the bed be taken out, as it was unbearably uncomfortable. She kept saying, “I just want to go home and die. This is no way to live. I’m ready to go.” She also told me, if I ever needed her after she had gone, all I would have to do is call her name, and she would be there for me. Grandma kept her promise to me. To this day I still feel her around me all the time, especially when I think of her and call her name.
I think the worst thing I ever experienced in my entire life was walking into that hospice room after she had passed and seeing her shell of a body. She was no longer there, obviously, but she was still around. I felt she was somewhere in the room looking at us and saying her goodbyes.
Pain had made her very bitter towards the end of her life. She wasn’t herself anymore because she was on so many different strong medications and invasive treatments. I sensed that she longed to be with her departed husband and her dear mother who passed when she was just a young girl. Her mom was also a psychic and apparently really good with things like Numerology and dreaming lucky numbers. I loved hearing all those stories.
Honoring Our Fathers And Forefathers
In our youth we easily forget to honor those fathers and father-figures who love and guide us. As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, some of us begin to realize that our fathers are the unsung heroes we never appreciated much. If we are one of the lucky ones, they were our champions growing up.
Always stalwart and steady, no matter what was going on around them or preying on their minds. How often must they have ended their day wondering whether they were doing enough for their families and what the future might hold?
After the fact, sometimes they openly share the worries, fears and insecurities that became all too real in times of crisis, but these challenges were carefully hidden from us, so as not to frighten us.
For those of us who have fathers who fought in wars for our freedom, we owe a great debt of gratitude. These courageous men who may have been terrified in the face of grave danger, fought bravely for their beliefs and the safety of their families. Many were lost or injured. Most returned home, greatly changed. And yet, we rarely heard about the realities of war, or their sacrifices.
Striking a balance between strength and vulnerability is a never-ending work in progress. Blessed is the man who finds his equilibrium with a calm, cool demeanor in the midst of the chaos that surrounds them. Blessed also are the children who call him “Dad.”
To the men who have acted as leaders and mentors to many protégés, perhaps without even knowing it, a great deal is owed. Whether it has been through leadership in business, teaching in schools, or volunteering in communities, many have no idea how deeply they have affected those whose lives they have touched, even peripherally.
Making The Most Of This Life, In This World!
I remember watching with fascination Sliding Doors starring Gwyneth Paltrow. In this film she finds herself in two parallel worlds with two very different realities that result from her choices and decisions.
Seeing this film prompted me to explore the fascinating subject of parallel worlds. According to physics, the existence of parallel worlds or a multiverse is a genuine possibility.
A parallel world is believed to be another world that exists alongside this one, yet it is undetectable to and independent of this world. It has also been suggested that another version of you could exist in one of these alternate realities, while there may other parallel worlds where you do not exist at all.
Could it be that each choice or decision we make in this world creates a very different reality in another world? For example, in another world, instead of going to your high school prom back in 1980, where you fell in love with Frank and later married him; you didn’t go to the prom that night, Frank never existed, and you ended up never getting married.
There are various schools of thought that this Universe is not singular – but one of many. One theory is that the Universe in which we live is infinite. However, matter can only rearrange itself up to a finite point and then it has to start repeating itself, thus creating Universe after Universe.
Another viewpoint is that there are multiple universes that all contain a planet Earth and more doppelgänger replicas of you! Furthermore, in these other worlds, you have to make different decisions – just like Gwyneth Paltrow has to decide in Sliding Doors if she is going to get on the train, or not, leading to different outcomes in each parallel life.
Some physicists theorize that the Big Bang, which may have given rise to the birth of the Universe, was not a one-off event. It may have prompted other Big Bangs giving birth to other Universes.
Paw Prints All Over My Heart
The agony of losing a dog is immeasurable. I lost my beloved Oliver, a King Charles Cavalier, several months ago and I’m still crying every day. But I have found some consolation in his afterlife signs and visits from the other side.
He was 11 years old and in perfect health, or so I thought. He’d had a full checkup three months prior and he had the test results of a very young dog! I also used to take him on long walks every day, his head held high, his tail wagging happily, a prancing skip in his step.
He was such a loving, happy dog. He stopped for every human, always begging for their attention and a pat on the head. Everyone knew him and loved him in the neighborhood.
He followed me around everywhere, lay under the table as I worked, always got up to join me for Yoga, and I left a spot for him behind my pillow every night at bedtime. I took him everywhere with me.
My 90-year-old mom lives across the street and that was his second home. He loved it there. One day, I was out running errands and he got loose. He then came knocking on my mom’s door looking for me there. She was always happy to see him and invited him in.
One day he simply stopped eating. He refused his favorite dog treats, would not even sniff peanut butter. Then he stopped drinking water. We immediately took him to the vet for tests. Not long after, the kind doctor phoned. My heart sank. “His organs are already shutting down, there’s nothing we can do for him,” he said.
We rushed back to the vet, praying he would hang on long enough so we could say our goodbyes. He did hang on for us. My husband, daughter and I were all together when we first picked him up as a puppy and now we were together to see him off. They didn’t even need to sedate him; he was already leaving his body and was calm as can be.
Just before they gave him the final injection, he suddenly turned his head and focused. I thought his loving gaze was on all of us, but my daughter insists he was only looking at me. There was no question he loved us all, but I did have an incredibly special connection with Oliver.