self-help
Keep Your Intuitive Energy Flowing
If you are psychic, clairvoyant, intuitive, or a pure empath, then chances are you find yourself periodically, or even frequently flipping the ‘off switch’ on your gifts in daily life. You certainly can’t process, neither share with everyone, the energetic information that is streaming 24/7. Sometimes it is also not understood, welcomed or trusted by others.
But, as you have no doubt noticed, this does not prevent the energy information or spiritual messages from showing up. For the gifted person this can feel like a concrete wall, especially when they are first utilizing their gifts and abilities. Many overly eager psychic mediums, intuitives and empaths have been met with a harsh rebuff, when they were starting out, from those they were genuinely trying to help, or wished to share an important message with.
Over time, if you are in an social environment that is less than open or supportive, this can cause you to doubt your own abilities, or force you to try and shut them down completely, in order to fit in, or avoid ridicule and criticism. But here’s the thing: you really can’t shut your gifts down completely.
You can ignore, rationalize, temporarily mute your gifted nature, but the bottom line is that it is here to stay. You were born with your extra-sensory abilities and healing gifts. They may have just recently surfaced for you, or you may have been aware of them from an early age. Whatever your circumstance, your gifts are a part of you, just as your eyes, arms and legs are a part of your body.
So, you might as well learn to deal with it more effectively. You will become much more comfortable with your gifts and abilities if you know how to keep yourself safe, healthy and strong, so that your energy can be powerful and free flowing.
Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner
We all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?
Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.
Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.
So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.
Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with ourselves. The cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust.
Unfortunately it is quite easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because during our lives all of us have, or will, make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
We all fail, and we all make mistakes. A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves. A job opportunity eludes us, or a friendship fractures beyond repair.
We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we begin to question our abilities, our dreams and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event that we label a failure, the doubt in our judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can become vicious and destructive.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t! I knew I should have done it differently,” then stop the that negative thought pattern, and choose instead to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
Let The Tarot Speak To You
I can remember, like it was yesterday, the first time I picked up a deck of Tarot cards and it spoke to me. As I recall, it was the Four of Swords card that was my first introduction to the deck. What it revealed to me at the time was daunting. “You don’t do this often enough…and we are going to show you how,” the card said.
I was surprised and intrigued! So, I pulled another card. This time it was one of the Major Arcana cards. Death, to be exact. This time the card said, “Changes are coming, and you must do it and not be afraid. We will get through this together, but you have to let go of the old in order to embrace the new.”
This, mind you, was all happening during my first Saturn Return around age 29. I already had ‘all hell breaking loose’ as it was. I’d left a ‘good job,’ which I hated. My mother did not understand and, since she worked for the government, even called her friends at the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)…because I was thinking of leaving town. I actually did leave, but turned around and came right back, but that’s a story for another day.
So, my Saturn Return was complicated enough, and it was about to get even more so. Talking Tarot cards, indeed! But so it was that they spoke to me. And that was how I got to know each of them, along with much further reading and studying, of course. But nothing can give you the true feel for a Tarot card, but a Tarot card itself.
The cards continued to communicate with me throughout the years, and eventually they decided it was time I share what they say with others. So, here we go with three of my favorite examples of what they have to say.
Do It Anyway
No matter what we go through in life and with who, we always come back to the same place… a familiar place of being alone. The thought occurred to me the other day that we come into this world alone, and we go out alone.
Though we may be surrounded by others, at the end of the day, we are still alone when we go to sleep at night. Even if we are married, or in a relationship with someone who sleeps next to us, we still enter into the sleep state or dream state, alone.
Have you ever noticed that people who are comfortable being alone, have somehow mastered being alone without being lonely? There is a true comfort, freedom, and delight in being by oneself, alone. When we are alone, we can take an honest inventory of our life, who we choose to spend time with, and also decide how we wish to spend our time.
The relationship arena seems to be one of the most challenging areas of life. We all fall into traps and pitfalls that can steer us away from our natural state of happiness , which we come home to when we are alone. However, relationships also seem to provide a fast track for our own personal growth by revealing how we interact with other people.
Our relationships point out areas within ourselves that may require growth or increased self-love. Simply put, relationships show us exactly where we need to focus on to come back to a state of wholeness.
Living Life – A Message From My Guides
Are you living the life of your dreams? Are you happy or content most of the time? Do you face challenges with confidence, or perhaps dread? Do you compare yourself with others and feel sad, miserable, or even angry at their success? Regardless of whether you feel as though you are at the bottom of the barrel, or soaring among the clouds, there is always room for improvement, and it is never too late to get started.
One of the biggest errors in judgment is all-or-nothing thinking. You do not need to drop everything in your life and start with a blank slate. Not only would that be impossible, it would be totally impractical. Your life so far is a culmination of all your experiences, education, career opportunities and family interactions, and cannot be wiped away like a chalkboard. Instead, you can, and should, start by making course corrections and taking baby steps in the right direction.
Set your intention first. Visualize the end result. Begin the process of redesigning your life gently and allow the universe to conspire in your favor over time. Whether you choose to go back to school, read a book, take a course, attend a conference, learn online or join a group, do something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Do it because you want to, not because you have to.
Set realistic goals and deadlines. If you are juggling a family or career or both, be sensible in your expectations of yourself. Things take time and if it is worth doing, it is worth doing well. Do not expect overnight results. Life is not a success-only journey, however, each setback holds a series of invaluable lessons. Deal with each issue, learn from the experience and move on with confidence. Continue reading
Learning To Love Yourself
Sadly, my inner-critic began speaking to me at a relatively young age and continued to do so well into my 20s and beyond. Personally, I feel this played a large part in me losing my job at the age of 24, during the 1980s recession. It was a time in which work was so hard to find, and when I finally did, even more negative self-talk began to have an effect on my life.
With no job and no money, I felt worthless, stupid, disliked, and that I had no potential whatsoever. Most fortunately, however, I proved myself to be wrong and later found, from experience, that the way to a happier, more confident and fulfilled life was by learning to slay that inner critic and start loving myself. Furthermore, you can too! Here’s how.
Firstly, remember that you do have a choice. Which one will you listen to: your inner critic or your inner guide? I remember the time when I told my family I was going to start working in the spiritual field. Yes, they laughed and said to me that it would never work out for me, and I that I could not do it.
Sadly, this boosted my inner critic once again, but at this particular time in my life, circumstances and the need for a more fulfilling job made me look at things from a different perspective.