inner strength
The Power Of Gratitude In Difficult Times
It is just as important to express gratitude and appreciation when we face the difficult times in our life, as it is when things are going well. In fact, it is even more important to express it during the hard times.
When our lives are on a downswing, the last thing on most people’s hearts or minds is to be thankful, or in a state of appreciation and joy. When we are struggling, our soul tends to be more aware of the negative energy of what is going on around us. This can ultimately attract the manifestation of even more negative energy, stressful situations and unpleasant events. In the end, even more bad days will come our way.
However, when we decide to stand strong and stop the downward spiral of our energy, and to be grateful for all of life’s lessons, whether good or bad, our energy begin to shift for the better.
When I pay my bills (a task that most of us really do not enjoy), I always write thank you under the last entry in my bank journal. When I think of the reason for doing this, especially when it means spending money on things that are not tangible and sitting in my hand, the explanation comes very easily. I am saying thank you for actually having the money to pay these bills – the hydro bill so I can have lights, the gas bill so I can have heat in the winter, the credit card bill for those urgent things I had to purchase, and the medical bill that allowed me to purchase the medication I need to keep my health in check, and so on. Even though these things may not be material things that I can feel or see every day, it means something at some point to make my life better.
Learning To Love Yourself
Sadly, my inner-critic began speaking to me at a relatively young age and continued to do so well into my 20s and beyond. Personally, I feel this played a large part in me losing my job at the age of 24, during the 1980s recession. It was a time in which work was so hard to find, and when I finally did, even more negative self-talk began to have an effect on my life.
With no job and no money, I felt worthless, stupid, disliked, and that I had no potential whatsoever. Most fortunately, however, I proved myself to be wrong and later found, from experience, that the way to a happier, more confident and fulfilled life was by learning to slay that inner critic and start loving myself. Furthermore, you can too! Here’s how.
Firstly, remember that you do have a choice. Which one will you listen to: your inner critic or your inner guide? I remember the time when I told my family I was going to start working in the spiritual field. Yes, they laughed and said to me that it would never work out for me, and I that I could not do it.
Sadly, this boosted my inner critic once again, but at this particular time in my life, circumstances and the need for a more fulfilling job made me look at things from a different perspective.
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Empaths are givers first and foremost. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed. But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful! But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about. What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.
Spirit Courage, Body Bravery
We all know someone who clearly walks to the beat of their own drum. These people typically have a robust inner strength, and refuse to accept at will any pertinent information handed to them by anyone in a position of authority. The one such character that stands out in my life is my maternal grandfather.
We came from a small town of 8,000 souls. Although our neighbors enjoyed the comforts of electricity, running water and all the modern conveniences of that time, my grandfather instead chose a code of living that suited him best.
The farmers in the area also had the use of tractors and other types of modern farming equipment that enabled them to work in a more worldly fashion, but my grandfather stubbornly refused to adhere to these modern trends. He had reliable horses to pull his plow and haul the hay, used kerosene lanterns when electric lighting was easily available to him, and firmly kept to his agenda with a tedious water pump that was needed for the normal household chores.
He was a very dedicated and diligent employee, working in the shipyard. He helped to load cargo ships from all corners of the globe, which came for the mighty salmon our region was extremely well-known for. Papa, as he was known to one and all, married at a very young age, which was a normal occurrence in those days, and managed to sire 15 children. He was also very well-versed and totally immersed in politics. The entire neighborhood would first ask his advice before casting their ballot, or not, for any politician brave enough to run for local office.
How To Boost Your Confidence
Sometimes I wish that confidence was for sale! Feeling confident can make all the difference, for example, when you are anxious about accepting a social invitation, without the need for spending hours of internal dialogue trying to convince yourself it will be okay for you to attend. Confidence also means being able to easily decide what to wear for the big night out, and so on.
Indeed, I have marveled at other people’s ability to do such things with ease. However, these very same people are no different than you or me. It is just that they have mastered their mindset with regards being confident, and so can you! Here’s how:
Maintain Healthy Boundaries
Have you noticed certain people in your life encroaching on your space and time? If so, it may be time to implement some polite, yet firm boundaries. By doing so, you should find that this really builds your confidence in both professional and personal relationships, and you no longer feel drained or undermined by specific individuals you have to share some of your time and space with.
Practice Self-Awareness
We hear a lot these days about being more self-aware, but just what is meant by this? Well, it simply means having the ability to recognize when you are falling into a pattern of self-sabotage. Let’s say, for example, you are due to meet a person who continually makes significant demands on you, but you find great difficulty in saying no to them. By learning the art of becoming more self-aware, you can plan, in advance, how to remain strong and firm with this particular individual, so that your relationship with them becomes far healthier.
Healing Painful Soul Memories
Every moment in our life creates a soul memory. Some of those memories are wonderful, and some are dreadful. The most horrific memories can be buried so deep, that the are no longer conscious memories, but they still affect how we move forward in life.
For example, a person who was sexually abused as a child may gain excessive weight or become self-destructive in their habits, in order to punish themselves, or to protect themselves from being the source of someone wanting to abuse them again. Because this abuse can happen at such a young age, the child may not have a conscious recollection of it until something in the present triggers it. They often have the barriers of protection they have created, but they do not know why.
When a trigger comes to surface that brings up a subconscious soul memory, it needs to be dealt with, or it will start to eat away at all the enjoyment in a person’s life. It will ruin their relationships, friendships and even work relationships, because the person simply cannot function at their true and full capacity with joy in their soul.
How do you heal painful soul memories? It takes a lot of work. It does not happen in a moment, or overnight. It is a matter of looking at each aspect, one at a time, forgiving what happened, forgiving yourself for carrying it for so long, and releasing it from your soul memory.
Through The Looking Glass
We tend to not see ourselves accurately. We too often choose to focus on our shortcomings and weaknesses, such as we perceive them to be. And I believe we are all guilty of this. I have not in all my years met anyone who was truly satisfied with themselves – until it was sometimes too late.
I was just as guilty of this as anyone else. My childhood was one that I wouldn’t have wished on my worst enemy. I was abandoned by both parents when I was very young. I was raised by an aunt and uncle, who took pleasure in reminding me that my parents did not love me. My aunt also took every opportunity to beat the daylights out of me, while my uncle did nothing.
When I hit puberty, several older males in my ‘family’ began to stalk and harass me. I’d go into the kitchen and soon find myself backed up against a wall. Nobody believed me. Nobody did anything to stop it – not even when I was raped at 16 by a family friend’s son, who was deemed to be a “good boy” and “would never do anything like that.”
I could go on and on about all the horrible things that happened to me, but once I turned that momentous age of 16, and having had the experiences that I have had, I left my aunt and uncle’s home. I went to live with my boyfriend, his sister and their mom. When I left, my uncle dumped all my clothes on the front lawn.