inner wisdom
Learning To Truly Be With Yourself
A fellow psychic encouraged me many years ago in a reading to be ‘with myself’ and not just ‘by myself.’ There was a difference she explained, as this was a process of getting to know our own true essence. But being yourself can be an uncomfortable pathway for introspection! It is a lot easier to distract yourself with work, entertainment, chores, socializing and all the other ways we tend to divert our attention away from looking within.
A wise client told me recently that it was during the recent pandemic lockdowns that her journey towards true self-love really began. My clients are often my most important teachers, as they prompt me at times to look deeper into a situation.
She had been going through intense periods of intense reminiscing, especially regarding relationships. Most of her flashbacks related to two significant past relationships which, after investing so much of herself, had not worked out.
One of her partners just didn’t want to commit and was wrapped up in a materialistic obsession of striving to achieve business success. The other, whom she loved very much, left her for another woman.
Ironically, after years of loneliness and looking for ways to fill that void, this ex she whom she used to love so much, recently got back in touch with her. Apparently, he wants to be a part of her life again, once he´s finally sorted out his disastrous relationship with the woman he left her for.
But she now feels she has healed, forgiven him, and truly fallen in love with her own company, and therefore she wouldn’t want him in her space too much, and that any future moments they do spend together will be on her terms.
She has nailed it when it comes to truly being ‘with yourself,’ instead of lonely ´by yourself.’
The Ripple Effect Of Kindness
Although I am usually very careful with online transactions, I received a notification yesterday of two unknown online purchases for the same amount, but from separate companies, both debited to my credit card without my knowledge.
It´s been a few years since I have been scammed in this way, so when I began investigating the matter it soon became obvious that online fraud has become rife in recent years. It’s much more complicated and frustrating to sort this out with vendors and the bank than it used to be. It was certainly a lesson for me to be more careful in future.
However, an unexpected blessing came from the mishap, as it often does. At the end of the first phone call I made to report the issue, the call center agent who assisted me thanked me for “being so nice to him.” When I asked him what he meant, he said my voice had soothed him and that he consequently felt a great sense of calm. He explained that people usually begin these call by yelling at him, as if he is somehow to blame.
“Well, it´s hardly your fault,” I said.
He continued by saying that customers are usually very angry and upset. Although he is trained to handle such calls, and understand the frustration of the callers, one never really get used to the feeling of being attacked and insulted – simply for doing your job.
I felt blessed after our interaction to know that I had impacted someone´s day positively. It reminded me that our words and actions really can make or break someone´s day.
It reminded me of the time when I used to work for an airline, many years ago. Our service training was heavily focused on customer care, particularly as this particular airline didn´t have a great reputation for punctuality or customer service in those days. Management was making a concerted effort to rectify their bad reputation.
Making A Meaningful Change
Most of us have been struggling with stress, anxiety and depression over the past two years. Whatever your personal struggles are, they are real and valid. The pandemic has been affecting everyone differently.
It is important to acknowledge your feelings and deal with it. Ignoring your struggles will only allow it to become bigger issues. Stress and trauma takes its toll on all of us, especially if left unattended. The best thing you can do for yourself and the people around you is to process it and work towards healing.
It is also vital to understand that your joy and happiness is not dependent on other people, material things, or external circumstances. It can only be found within yourself. And often the only way to access this happiness and joy within is to make some real, meaningful changes in your life.
Many people never find their joy and happiness, because they do not know what brings them joy and makes them truly happy. This is the big question. Look within and find makes you happiest. Then concentrate on that. Make a plan and start working towards it. It may sound simplistic, but it will soon begin to manifest in your life if you believe it.
For example, if you want to be in a happy, healthy relationship and you are tired of the bad relationship you are currently in, decide to make the change. Simply choose to be happy. You deserve to be happy and to be loved. Decide that you want to make it happen. It really is as simple as that.
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
Recycle Your Blessings This Winter Season
As we approach winter in the northern hemisphere, let us be inspired by the seasonal change. Look around and observe nature as it prepares itself for a period of dormancy that leads to renewal and rebirth in the spring.
Change is the catalyst for growth in our lives. Some choose to think of winter as an unpleasant, ‘lifeless’ time, but in truth it is a golden opportunity to connect with the deeper realms of our mind and soul.
Embrace the profound stillness that this season offers and use the longer nights as opportunity for conscious self-reflection. Sit with this stillness and claim your majestic place on the sacred throne that was created solely for you.
Take back your personal power from the turbulence of the outer world and allow the chatter to grow quiet. Trust that in the midst of your most pressing thoughts and that which nags your soul, there is the Divine right path to oneness, healing, balance, peace, reconciliation, spiritual recognition, and soul empowerment.
Along with the obvious holiday cheer, this is one of the many gifts of the winter season; connecting to the eternal flame of the universe that shines on each of us.
As I ponder the personal changes I wish to embark on, I am reminded that nothing new can happen without letting go of the old. Many years ago, a dear friend implemented an annual winter ritual of clearing her closet of personal items she no longer desired. This is always performed just before the New Year.
I recall asking whether she was maybe acting too hastily in letting go of some of her prized possessions, as some of the discarded items were relatively new. She responded that she was creating space for new gifts to enter her life, while passing the old on to others who might be blessed by receiving it. My friend essentially spoke of recycling her blessings, a concept that was new to me at the time. And in doing so, she created a special karma for herself that opened the path for new delights to enter her life.
Banish Fear With The Power Of The Heart
I woke up from a powerful dream this morning. I was on the top floor of a high-rise building that had been struck by lightning. The building slowly started to move, to quake. I could see from the window neighboring structures being destroyed, and I sensed my own building’s collapse was imminent…with me inside it!
Could I make it down the stairs in time? I was about to try, but my exit was delayed by a pair of sparkling opal earrings that I simply had to take with me! But I could not manage to hold onto them for long. They kept slipping out of my hand, while the apocalypse was happening all around me.
I just had to bring the blingy earbobs – I am a Taurus, after all.
Then, as I gazed at the two little treasures, a stark truth hit me. I suddenly realized these material things do not matter in life and it shouldn’t delay me further. I also understood for some reason that the earrings now belonged to someone else and would bring them much joy in future. So, I returned the jewelry to the table where I found it…just before my building finally came crashing down.
Certainly, a lot to unpack. Temptation, ownership, materialism, impermanence, spiritual values, mortality, life goals.
But let’s get back to the dream.
Somehow, incredulously, like in a Marvel Comics adventure, I landed outside, unharmed. Then I found myself on a raft, with my immediate family all suddenly with me. We were rapidly floating together down a river.
Then it was time for us to get off, before we got hurt, but we were reluctant to do so. Suddenly, there was a friendly tribe of indigenous people on the bank of the river, expectantly waiting for us by a wall. So, we felt safe to dive off the raft, and we did so. The tribe members showed us the way through a hidden opening in the wall, and we all made it out safely to someplace new!
The Healing Power Of Positive Self-Talk
Most people indulge more in negative self-talk, than positive. But self-talk is not supposed to be negative and overly critical. We are supposed to use it to encourage, empower and motivate ourselves to achieve success and follow our dreams.
Our brain has the conscious mind, the subconscious mind, and what is known in hypnosis as the critical factor of mind. This critical factor is that part of our consciousness that checks and filters every through and idea that enters our mind. It is like the gatekeeper or the guardian between the conscious mind and the subconscious. That is how hypnosis works – it is a way to bypass the critical factor so that we can access the subconscious and reprogram it with new information and insights for healing and self-empowerment.
The role of the critical factor is to protect our mind, but this is not always a good thing. Because of the job the critical mind is tasked to do, it tends to be critical of everything. It is unfortunately also that part of our brain that says we are not worthy or deserving, that we cannot do things, or achieve things.
I cannot get the job I really want.
I’m not worthy of a happy, healthy relationship.
I am not smart and pretty enough.
People just don’t like me.
Why do bad things always happen to me?
The one big problem with the critical factor is that it does not always see or hear things the way they really are. It can convince of things that are not true at all. For example, it may you that others are trying to get you fired from a job, when in fact the boss is trying to help you keep your job.