break-up
Reclaiming Your Power When A Relationship Ends
One of the main reasons it is so painful to release someone when a relationship ends, is because we have usually invested so much of our time and energy in our connection with that person. In essence, what we are truly missing when we mourn a relationship are parts of our self that we have given away. What we are mourning is the loss of our hopes and dreams, not merely the presence of the person who is no longer in our life.
If this is something you are currently struggling with, I recommend the following ritual designed to help you reclaim your power after a relationship break-up, so that you can restore your inner wholeness and resume your search for true and enduring love.
Supplies
- 3 votive candles: 1 blue, 1 green, 1 yellow
- 1 aqua marine or clear quartz crystal
- rain or sage incense wand
- small mirror
- 3 copper pennies
- 2 tbsp of fresh or dried mint in a small bowl
- 2 tbsp sea salt
Your Soulmate is Not Someone Else’s Partner
Many people go through life looking for their soulmate or twin flame, while they may have already found them. To me a soulmate is simply someone you have a past life connection to and your souls cross paths again in this lifetime. It does not mean they are meant to be with you forever. It does not mean that you are meant to be lovers, partners or any other connection other than, you have been together in some capacity in a past life.
Sometimes clients who consult me about their love life are enamored with another person’s spouse or partner, and are so sure that this person is meant to be with them, instead of the person they are with. But the truth is, the Universe, Source, God, will never send you someone else’s partner to be your life mate.
I hear so often, “But I love him!” Or “We are so good together and she does not love her husband.” But these are merely empty words, or wishful thinking. Chances are you are only being used by that other person. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear. “Oh yes, my spouse and I have drifted apart.” Or, ‘My spouse treats me very badly.” Or the best one, “I’m only staying there until the kids are out of school.” These are simply lines to justify the pursuit of an affair.
Choose Your Life Partner Wisely
Many people are looking for that soulmate who will truly be a life-long partner. But because they are so desperate to find that special person, they sometimes align with those that do not necessarily have all the qualities that are important in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. This is unfortunately not how you find your ‘forever.’
In the old days divorce was not even something someone considered once they got married. Neither did couples live together, unless they were married. It was frowned upon when a baby was born out of wedlock. If someone did get pregnant, there was usually a quick wedding, and that was that.
Your Soulmate Buddy Is A Keeper!
This year I have been hearing of more friendships ending like never before. I believe there may be a cosmic influence at play which currently prompts the clearing out of the old to let in the new.
I have witnessed this trends also in a couple of my own friendships, which initially I thought would last a life-time, but they ended quite suddenly. In hindsight those friendships ended in my best interest, and who knows, perhaps in the best interest of the other parties too.
One such friendship was very toxic all the way through, but I now realize that I was probably enabling this friend, both on the phone and in person, by always being available to her. Meanwhile, she had been bad mouthing me and spreading vicious rumors about my personal life and my relationship with my father. This cut me deeply in the end, but I was only too glad that my dad, who was still alive at the time, never got to hear any of this. He would have been devastated that something so evil could be fabricated about me.
Holding On To A Broken Relationship
Are you waiting for him to return to you? Has your break-up stopped you from living your life? Have you decided that no matter what anyone has said to you, that you know that he is coming back to you? Holding on to a broken relationship is a common occurrence in many people’s lives. One person moves on, another does not.
When confronted with this dilemma, you may believe he will be back. I know him; he can’t function without me. He needs me. He knows we are spiritually connected. However, this is often not the truth of the situation. It is simply your ego egging you on to believe what you want to believe.
I usually ask people to go into their ‘gut’ and take the heart out of it. But still I will get, “My gut says he will be back.” This is ego, because the response is so quick and without breathing in and allowing your guides to give you the proper answer.
Let Spirit Put Ego In Its Place
I recently had a conversation with a lovely, learned lady who was quite beside herself, because her husband of ten years simply got up and walked out on her… with no explanation whatsoever! She was understandably beside herself with shock and grief. I asked her what kind of relationship she felt they had and she assured me it was a very loving one. I find it almost impossible to believe that a loving, caring partner would all of a sudden just turn his back with all they had shared together and walk out the door, in what appeared to be a cold and callous man.
I then asked her why she felt they had such a good situation between them and she said it was because she loved him so much. She did all she could to keep him happy and satisfied. Well, now we were obviously getting somewhere. On further probing I found this man had been emotionally detached, and certainly oblivious to her needs. How can this, by any definition, be a warm and loving relationship?
Her ego most assuredly suffered a blow, but I do wonder where spirit was in all of this. It would make no sense to me if spirit accepted such a one-sided relationship that was completely devoid of any care or kindness.
My suspicion is that she had convinced herself that this ‘relationship’ had to maintain itself, or she would not be an ‘acceptable’ woman if she did not have a prominent male in her life, even under these trying conditions. There we go, when ego runs the show a myriad of pains can certainly appear on the horizon! Continue reading
Good Old-Fashioned Dating Before Your Commit
Some of my most treasured moments have been the conversations I’ve had with folks from my grandparents’ generation. I especially like to ask elderly couples what their secret is to a long-lasting marriage, or relationship.
Their answers always put a smile on my face. Usually they would say that they slowly got to know each other, to see if they had the same values and decide if they were compatible.
Sadly, much has changed over the years. These days people no longer seem willing to put in the work and commitment it takes to build a strong foundation for a healthy, enduring relationship. Instead, we rush into romantic connections without thinking and seldom questioning the other person or their motives. Continue reading