birth
When Two Souls Collide
Clients sometimes ask me if a recently deceased loved one or pet will eventually reincarnate and return to them. In my experience, they certainly do. Sometimes in this life, and certainly in a next life.
There have been times in my life when I would meet someone and there would be a kind of ‘knowing’ or a sense of familiarity about them, as if I had known them before. I believe we all have these experiences of soul recognition from time to time.
A clear sign for me that I am experiencing a soul recognition during such an encounter is that I feel my body tremble when making eye contact, or my hands are shaking. In my experience, the more intense the physical sensation, the more incarnations I may have had with that particular person.
I have had this experience with people who turned out to be someone I only briefly had contact with, but also others with whom I had more lasting relationships. I also experience this ‘knowing’ with my pets. It is something in the way their eyes connect with mine, as if to say. “Hello, it’s me. I’m back!”
One particular incident, which remains vividly etched in my mind, was an event I witnessed about a decade ago. Someone I knew had fallen pregnant when she was going through a difficult time in her life. Despite the father of the child not wanting to be involved, she decided to keep the baby, and she did her best to make sure her baby was going to have the best she could manage to offer her child.
I was very surprised when she asked me to be the guest of honor at her home for the natural water birth. As honored as I was, I was also a bit stressed about it. She outlined the process and reassured me that a trained doula (midwife) would be present. She had done much research into having her baby at home, as well as substantial prepping with her doula. I agreed, but knowing it might be a very long process, I had mentally prepared myself.
The Life Calling Of The Death Doula
The first time I heard of a doula, I had no idea what it meant. I soon discovered that it is a person trained to provide guidance, emotional support, and physical comfort to a mother before, during, and after childbirth.
But little did I know at the time that a doula can also be someone who is of service to dying. So, a doula may assist us coming into the physical world, as well as leave the physical world. What a wonderful profession to be called to assist in the miracles of birth and death.
As a psychic medium, talking to loved ones who have crossed over, I have come to understand that some people definitely prefer to be alone at the time of death. My own dad was such a person. He made it clear to us this was his dying wish.
Several people kept vigil at his bedside for three weeks, but the moment we all were away to change clothes or eat, was his opportunity to ‘check out.’ As in life so be it in death, my dad was a very private person.
His hospice room was right across from the elevator. When my mother and I stepped off the elevator, I heard my dad take his last breath and I sensed and felt his spirit exit the building. But I also know he was not ‘alone,’ because his loved ones, guides and angels came to greet him.
So, how does an end-of-life doula help with this process? A doula is there to help the family as much as the person passing. It is my belief that it is a deep honor to be present at a birth or a death. I have had the privilege to be present at all three of my granddaughter’s births. I have also been present at several deaths.
Both are times when emotions are running very high. At a birth everyone is anxious until they hear baby’s first cry. They are on edge waiting to hear baby and mother are both fine. A doula can help explain what is going on and answer questions about the birth process.
Balancing Sun And Moon Energies
The Sun and Moon have very different metaphysical energies and we are strongly affected by both. For example, a circumstance or event that might make you sad during the day, may completely wipe you out emotionally at night. This is because our hormones shift at night.
I worked for many years teaching prenatal Yoga and helping expectant moms. Their emotions typically ran very high at night. Their concerns about labor was latent in their thoughts during the day, but at night they would sometimes become terrified. Most women also go into labor at night and give birth during the day.
Things become surreal at night. I believe our hormones, the Moon’s energy, and a lessened ability to see in the darkness all greatly affect us.
At night, the right side of the brain is dominant. This is our spiritual, intuitive, subconscious, feminine side. During the day, the left hemisphere of the brain is dominant. This is our practical, thinking, productive physical, masculine side.
The left side of the body is controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain and is Sun-based, while the right side of the body is controlled by the left hemisphere and is Moon based. The Moon exudes feminine energy. The feminine rules the right side of the brain, which is the maternal, emotional, creative, dreamy side. The Sun rules the left side of the brain, which is the paternal side which rules logic, production, protection, and work.
When you are having difficulty sleeping it is usually because the left hemisphere of the brain has kicked in when it should be inactive. This is when you start thinking about all the things you need to do the next day, or the stressful challenges you faced the day prior.
Transitioning With Grace
Autumn always awakens my awareness of transitions. Not only does the entire scenery change color, but each individual leaf on every tree is in a constant shift of shades of greens, golds, yellows, oranges, and reds. With every shifting shade and combination of them, the pattern of the palette continuously alters too.
Then, of course, there is the falling of the leaves – the gradual transition from tree to ground, from full foliage to bareness in various new measures day by day. The rise and set of the sun, and the length of the night and light incrementally inch through their own thresholds as well.
Like the changing season, life is full of transitions. From the moment the soul enters the womb, an endless sequence of them begins. The body develops in a rapid succession of changes, then carries the soul from womb to world.
In the world, the embodied soul then undergoes transition through various ages and stages, growing from infant to toddler to child to adolescent to adult, until gradually winding down to leave the body behind and proceed to the next one or world.
In between, you and I – the embodied souls – may face a multitude of additional transitions in relationships, careers, residences, levels of consciousness, and more. Such transitions – even the best of them – are not easy. They naturally incorporate intervals of instability in the liminal spaces between here and there. Transitions entail shedding, releasing, letting go of the old that was, and then birthing and rebirthing the next and new phase that will be. They empty us out and fill us up, again and again. Transitions are not easy; they may even make us feel queasy!
So, how can we move through the endless array of life’s transitions gracefully? As with all things, there are probably as many ways as there is individuality among people. What I share are simply some of the ones I have found especially helpful.
Bittersweet Is The Fall
Bittersweet is the fall in Maine. Literally. We have a vine here known as the ‘asiatic bittersweet’ (celastrus orbiculatus) that produces attractive red berries. They are yellow at first, but as they mature the outer shell cracks open to expose a magnificent crimson berry with a yellow coat.
Crafters here in New England traditionally use this vine to make holiday wreaths and decorate their homes. It also adorns the roads of Maine with the combination of fall leaves and green of pine trees.
But the bittersweet vine does its name justice in both sweet beauty and bitterness, life and death, because it is not only adored for its versatility as autumn décor this time of year, but it is also widespread, severely invasive and destructive. It suffocatingly twines high up around trees and sprawls over lower plants and vegetation.
It is not a native plant to the region and was originally brought here as an ornamental plant. As the vine begins to spread and grow to the top of trees it becomes the vine of death for the tree as it covers it completely. A bitter vine.
The fall is indeed a bittersweet time of the year. The natural cycle of life and death. The bittersweet time of year is the time to harvest food for the long winter ahead. Get our homes ready for the snow, darkness, and ice of winter.
In Maine the old timers say ‘button up the house’ for winter. The sweet part is people are thinking of the holidays ahead and gatherings with family and friends. There are traditional recipes. Who will make the best pie? Everyone has a favorite. Whose gravy is the most delicious? It’s a time of gratitude for everything that is good in life.
The Special Magic Of Autumn
I’ve often wondered if in a former lifetime I might have had a birthday in the fall? More specifically, I sense it must have been in the month of September, because I typically experience increased awareness and great change during this month.
Being a Gemini, born in June, this makes absolutely no sense, but I don’t always pay attention to what makes sense. I rather go with what feels right.
I feel a special magic in the air in the fall that I do not experience in any other season. In the autumn the world of the living seems to move closer to the afterlife and our deceased loved ones.
Traditionally All Hallows’ Eve on October 31st is believed to be time when the veil between the two worlds is most thin and we can more easily connect with our departed loved ones on the Other Side.
In the Northern Hemisphere September is the time of year when Mother Nature is shedding her leaves as the cooler air moves. Might this also be a time for us to let go of the aspects of our lives that no longer serve us? And could it be that our deceased loved ones in Heaven support and help to facilitate this need for us to surrender and let go?
The energy of September is an in-between state of transition that will ultimately spark us into new beginnings. But sometimes we need a little bit of extra magic, as it takes much courage to let go of the old and familiar to step onto a new path.
Our family and friends in Heaven want to see us progress and grow while in the Earth realm. Our loved ones who have crossed over to the Other Side can see forward and backward in time. They have the ability to open doors for us who are still in this life.
Birth Order And The Empath
Most of us are familiar with the notion that the personality traits of the firstborn are typically different from the middle sibling, or the youngest child in the family, and so on. But many empaths do not realize how they may be impacted by their birth order in the family.
In The Birth Order Book, author Kevin Lemar gives a detailed outline of these so-called ‘birth order’ characteristics and qualities.
Firstborns, as well as only children, for example, are often associated with leadership attributes and stronger personalities, along with being more protective, fearless, and reliable than their siblings. However, the firstborn may also exhibit some less desirable traits, such as being controlling, bossy and impatient.
The middle-born tend to be social butterflies and peacekeepers, who are focused on fairness and keeping everyone happy. The youngest-born tend to be fun-loving, outgoing, creative, free spirited and can be adept at manipulating others to do things for them.
Only children tend to be mature for their age, perfectionistic and conscientious, but may feel the burden of high parental expectations.
The Firstborn Empath
My experience with empaths has been that the firstborn and only child empaths are indeed more protective, fearless, independent, reliable, but in the empath these protective instincts are magnified tenfold.
They also tend to feel it is their responsibility to solve every human problem and protect everyone around them, regardless. I often see a very enhanced sense of responsibility.