self-doubt
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.
Overcoming Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
You’ve probably heard this before. I talk about this all the time. But the concept is one that has had such a huge impact on my life, I just have to share it! You are not your thoughts, or your feelings. You are the soul or spirit who has the ability to observe and experience your thoughts and feelings.
When I made this realization, I had already been working for years on my tendency to be very critical with my inner dialogue. But only when I paid attention to it from a spiritual perspective, did I realize how harsh I had really been on myself.
Our minds are constantly full of inner chatter which, when left unattended, can become a toxic breeding ground for fear, self-judgment and limiting belief patterns. Once I realized I was separate from my thoughts and feelings as a spiritual being, I began to observe them more objectively.
As a natural consequence of this, I found myself asking some really compelling questions. What was I believing about these thoughts? What kind of emotions are these thoughts bringing up? This kind of self-reflection opens a conversation with your heart, your soul, your higher self.
Your mind is designed to keep you safe. This too often means keeping you confined within your comfort zones and self-limiting beliefs. Your heart and soul, on the other hand, want you to grow and expand. The higher self wants you to learn, and play, and, and explore, and experience as much as possible in this lifetime.
Finding Your Spiritual Center In A Chaotic World
If you were to ask me how I see the world we currently live in, my honest response would be that we seem to be in a state of mass confusion. There is much misinformation, upheaval, conflicting reports, fake news and conspiracy theories these days. And most of us seem to be struggling trying to find our balance amid all this chaos.
Herein lies the problem: how do we reconcile what we are being told by so many contradictory sources, when it conflicts with our own personal beliefs, thoughts and feelings? Do we trust ourselves enough from our inner guidance system, to assess what is right and true for us, even if it does not match the opinions of others?
Are you the type of individual that will always follow the agenda set out before you, even though at times it leaves you with feelings of doubt? Or perhaps you are a person who makes your choices strictly led by your own beliefs, intuition and spiritual awareness?
The only reasonable approach to any threatening situation at hand is to pay more attention to what you are honestly thinking, and how you are feeling, and how you choose to deal with trying events, rather than obsessing about what may, or may not happen.
It would make things much simpler if we could simply hide away in some cave for a while, or live on a desert island, until all the turmoil blows over. However, here is the catch, if these troublesome circumstances and events in current affairs finally find a way to resolve themselves, how do we prepare for the next time?
Streaming With Your Angels
At the moment, our world is still seeking answers and solutions to what appears to be a never-ending stream of challenges and concerns. And some days it appears as if we are moving backwards, instead of forward! Our concerns for our homes, livelihood and loved ones are more prevalent than ever right now. We are also bearing witness to incredible acts of giving, compassion, courage, and sacrifice, that remind us who we can be – even during the most stressful of times.
Many of us are also streaming more every day. We are being inundated with massive amounts of information, that we must sort through and decide what to believe and trust, what we should or should not do, and most importantly, how we are going to be present in our rapidly changing world.
The most important consideration for all of us right now should be: what are we going to show our loved ones, colleagues, friends, about who we are choosing to be here and now, today? The beginning of each day in this challenging new world is a powerful opportunity for change and transformation.
The angels remind us that there is a difference between awareness and fear. Fear causes reaction, awareness creates discernment and wisdom. During stressful times, fear is easily triggered. Tempers flare, and arguments are sparked that are not always very easily resolved.
Transmuting The Negative Energy Of Self-Sabotage
In many religions and spiritual wisdom traditions we find guidelines on healing and mind-body wellness. Many of these philosophies, in conjunction with modern medicine, can be a great aid for mind, body and soul. In all spiritual traditions there are usually rules or recommendations aimed at the well-being of society as a whole, as well as each individual soul. Many of these teachings warn us of dangers we might find in our own thought, choices and actions. And if we are unaware or careless, a damaging thought or action can turn into a harmful pattern.
Recognizing a damaging thought or behavior pattern in our lives is not easy. We might realize that someone else makes the same mistakes over and over, but it may be difficult to have the same insight about ourselves. We create the imagined walls of our own limitations, and abide by them, without being aware of making this decision. These limiting, destructive thoughts and actions that appear repeatedly in our lives – especially those demeaning, self-sabotaging, angry thoughts – are in essence negative energy vibrations. A few example of such thoughts can be:
I am useless and incompetent.
I am not strong enough.
Nobody cares about me.
I do not deserve better.
I hate myself.
How To Gain Confidence
Confidence isn’t about feeling superior to others. Confidence simply means feeling sure of yourself and your abilities, but not in an arrogant way. It’s the quiet, inner knowledge that you are capable. Confident people feel ready for everyday challenges.
For some of us it takes years of trial and error to gain self-confidence. Most people are their own worst critic. They judge themselves much harder than others would. And some will never feel good enough, or worthy of all the good things life has to offer.
Confidence really isn’t something that anyone else can give you. If you are not feeling confident, no matter how much praise and affirmation others may offer you, it will just fall on deaf ears. If you don’t believe it yourself, you simply will not hear it, or feel it.
As a psychic medium, it took me a few times of demonstrating for large groups to feel confident in myself and my mediumship. I have always trusted the spirit world to provide validation for the continuity of consciousness. The spirit world always brings forth messages and advice for clients without judgment. Spirit is consistently loving and kind, bringing forth messages for the highest good of my clients.
One of the biggest challenges for most, if not all psychic mediums, is the fear of ‘getting it wrong.’ Well, spirit never gives incorrect information. As humans we may interpret what we are seeing, hearing, and feeling incorrectly, but the original message is never inaccurate. The medium is just the messenger in the middle – and we are human and fallible. Therefore, in a mediumship session with me, I always try not to interpret too much of what I’m hearing, seeing and feeling. I just give the information with a basic sense of trust.