life design
To Fester, Or Forgive
Recently, a peer did a short talk on forgiveness, as part of a healing service. Besides her being courageous, sharing aspects of her personal challenges with parents and peers, she also offered a reminder of how instrumental forgiving ourselves is in our healing journey.
The reptilian, primitive part of the brain has a default state of always monitoring its environment. The hunter-gatherer ancestral days had us on constant alert. Anxious. Awaiting possible threat by the saber-tooth tiger. But our modern brain has evolved such, that when we are not active in a task, the brain occupies itself with dwelling on the past.
The idle brain tends to ponder past events and unpleasant thoughts, that in the default state, fill us with anxiety. Pain. Guilt. Self-blame. Shame. Anger. Disappointment.
The typical memories and thoughts, that can consume us in this default state, vary. Some are large and life-changing, such as the loss of a loved one or favorite pet, financial loss, divorce, adultery, retrenchment, and physical or emotional abuse. Others are more behavioral or emotional, but can be just as debilitating.
When our life is ‘heading south’ and we cannot seem to turn things around, we tend to replay the situation. This can lead to becoming more depressed, and having more reason to doubt ourselves. A vicious cycle can result. We spin and spin…like laundry in the dryer, being tumbled. If we remain in that dryer, resentment sets in.
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
Be The Star Of Your Show!
Are you the star of your own show? If not, then maybe it is time. For once put yourself first by honoring your spirit, your sacred body temple, and the higher work you have been called to complete in this lifetime.
You can begin by honoring your spirit with deeply soulful ‘food.’ This can take the form of meditation, prayer, or simply enjoying whatever self-care activity or spiritual practice feeds your spirit the most. But in doing so, it is important to consciously disconnect from the mundane world around you, and allow the blissful energy of Spirit Divine to pour in.
As I write these words, I can literally feel the healing energy of the sunlight bathing me, even though I am logging on from deep in the cold Rockies on a cloudy afternoon. This intense energy is a message to my soul that each of us has the ability to tap into spiritual warmth and renewal within a single thought.
My late mother used to call this connection with the Divine the I AM presence that is abundantly accessible to us all. It is important to tap into this presence as a reminder that we are spirit energy, divinely guided, protected, and in ‘the spotlight of our own shows.’
Being a ‘star’ also means that you must take deliberate time to honor your sacred body temple. You do this by enjoying healthy foods and balanced nutrition.
Dragging A ‘Knapsack Of Irrelevance’
Reading for a client recently revealed her toxic work environment, and how one co-worker in particular was making things very unpleasant for her at the office. It reminded me of a short-lived, but very unpleasant working situation I found myself in years ago.
I was scheduled to work with a woman for a couple of weeks who had an extremely negative attitude and was having a profound effect on me. I shared this unpleasant situation with my boyfriend at the time, and his view was that I was just carrying around a ‘knapsack of irrelevance.’
I was so upset! How could he even think that? However, he did give me some food for thought when he then also said, “Just consider how you will think about this situation in a few years from now. How much will it matter then?”
Well, that did help to put things into perspective. And guess what? Just as he predicted, I forgot all about it until this recent reading with my client! Yes, he was correct. After all the years, remembering that brief work situation made me realize that it never had any major relevance or importance to my life. Stressing and worrying about it was indeed just a waste of time and energy.
I met this particular ex-boyfriend in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). He was very well-versed in the twelve steps and other tools helpful in achieving and maintaining sobriety. He also gave me an Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet, which I have to this day, which reads:
Roadblocks To Spiritual Growth
The spiritually aware person is by nature more open, attuned and sensitive to everything around them: spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Letting all that additional energy flow in can be empowering, but also exhausting.
You also may find yourself adrift and lacking in purpose when it comes to your spiritual development and growth. Maybe you’re asking what is your life’s mission, or purpose? This kind of confusion and procrastination is common when you are experiencing energetic overload, or not appropriately investing your time and energy. But the good news is, it can be overcome.
Guidance
So many of us struggle with the big questions: why are we here, and what are we meant to do? But there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Asking your spirit guides, a mentor or a community of like-minded people for help on your journey is usually a step in the right direction. Be open and honest when you ask for guidance, and accept that the answers may not always be the ones you are expecting.
Practice
Instead of practicing our spirituality, we often spend a lot of time reading books or watching instructional videos on how to do it. The truth is, you already have all the spiritual skills you need, or you’re able to intuit them. Instead, actively practice your spirituality each day. Don’t be afraid of failure or shortcomings, because there is no such thing spirituality.