contentment
Waiting On The World To Change
Waiting On The World To Change is not just a great John Mayer song, it is also a devastating pattern in many people’s lives. Too often people are waiting for some outside force to come along and bring them the happiness and fulfillment they want. Living one’s life ‘on hold’ in this way can become a incapacitating habit that will only serve to make us eternally stuck and unhappy.
When we are waiting for a change from someone or something other than ourselves, we are not taking control of our own power. More importantly, we are also not taking personal responsibility for our God-given free will choices, nor are we holding ourselves accountable for our own actions (or inaction).
We all have that friend who is always saying how great her relationship would be ‘if only’ her partner would change a certain habit, or do something differently. Or that colleague who never gets the promotion, while she keeps blaming others as to why she is constantly overlooked. Or the diseased relative who ‘cannot’ improve her health and wellness, because making better lifestyle choices just doesn’t fit into her busy work schedule and social life.
The worst one for me is people waiting for that amazing soulmate relationship to finally materialize, when they are not making even the least bit of effort to put themselves out there and meet new people.
Some people spend a lot of time constantly setting new goals or intentions, making wish lists, creating vision boards, or doing visualizations or rituals, to manifest the changes they want to see in their lives. But what if the thing they need to change is actually themselves?
Less Stress, More Meditation
We do our best to not be in a state of constant stress, toxic environments and unhealthy situations. We try so hard to keep our life in a state of contentment and happiness.
We intuitively know that if we keep our stress levels down, we sleep better and we think more clearly. Being in a state of zen is our original state.
When we are at peace, we are more able to hear that inner voice telling us what to do, and not do. It is what I call our inner GPS. We can hear it much more clearly when I we are centered and grounded, and not stressing.
I have found that only through meditation can I fully achieve this state of ‘less stress’ in my life. Of course, we can never eliminate stress completely, but meditation does empower me to achieve that state of contentment more easily.
After many years of practice, I can even achieve this within a few moments by simply focusing on my breath. But it is best when I take a good 30 minutes to go through my meditative steps. This includes breathwork and visualizing my body relaxing from my toes to top of my head.
During my destressing meditation I also take some time to send out love, light and peace to everyone that I know and love, including those who I don’t necessarily like very much. I also visualize the things I want to manifest in my life.
Today’s Journey, Not Tomorrow’s Destination
I often hear my clients say, “If only I can meet my soulmate, then I will be happy.” Then when they meet that special person, they say they will finally be happy once they propose. Once they are married, then they cannot be completely happy until they have children.
Then, if they only one child, then can only be happy if they have a second. Or if they have two boys, they will only find lasting happiness once they also have a girl. Or they can only be happy once they have built or bought the dream house, or lost the weight, or launched their new business, and on, and on.
The worst scenario is people waiting for their retirement to finally be happy.
If you ask other people you will discover that nobody has everything they want. Most people have never had ‘everything.’ The few that might seem to have it all, usually do not. There is always something still lacking or missing. Nobody’s life is perfect.
Many of us spend our fleeting time on this planet wanting more, being insatiable, and never feeling fulfilled, content, or happy. It’s wonderful to have goals. Not having goals can be extremely depressing. But enjoying the process and journey toward achieving those goals will make them have even more valued and fulfilling.
More importantly, we are seldom grateful or appreciative for what we do already have. I have also found that not being grateful will bring us karmic lessons of appreciation, often by losing the good things in our life that we so easily disregard. I have seen that time and again with clients, friends and relatives.
We are an insatiable, greedy society. This who become millionaires, then want to be multi-millionaires., and then won’t be happy or fulfilled until they’re billionaires. When is enough, enough. We can only wear one outfit at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time.
I have so many friends who spent their children’s entire childhood chasing the career dreams and business goals, constantly being stressed, frazzled and not at all present when they do spend a little time with their kids. Then they wake up one day and realize their children are grown and gone, and they missed most of it.
Reversing The Reversals
You’re moving at a breakneck pace and everything is going like gangbusters. Good health, great job, satisfying relationship. You just moved in with the person of your dreams and you’re banking some major coin that gives you many options in life. Travel, designer clothes, flashy car with all the latest bells and whistles. You’re the belle of the ball, the center of attention, feeling like Ms Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind.
Any problems you might have, like those recurring nightmares in which you’re being chased and can’t get away, you simply disregard. You’ll rather think about it tomorrow. Every morning you simply turn a blind eye and start another glorious day. Today is good, forget about last night. No time to see the truth in the rear view mirror.
And then a global pandemic hits. Suddenly the entire world is reversed and upside down. Everywhere people are dropping out and tuning into misery. You’re stuck at home with your new live-in partner who no longer looks so shiny, neither does the new car, even with all those bells and whistles.
You’re feeling shell-shocked, overwhelmed, scared. You feel like a trapped lab rat, waiting for an insidious disease to strike. Meanwhile you are getting a crash course in relationship 101, learning about all your partner’s peccadilloes, those annoying little quirks and habits you used to find so cute. Then the awesome job goes away, and you and lab rat partner are left to fight all the time. One of you needs to leave. But neither of you can go anywhere.
All you can do is go within. Sleep becomes a refuge, until those nasty nightmares become more of a reality to you than your waking life. And now you feel like a zombie; the dead version of your former vibrant self.
This is what’s called a reversal in life. Dramatic? Yes. Depressing? Absolutely. We all encounter it from time to time, the reversals, the spiritual contrasts. Sometimes not quite so dramatic, other times even more so.
Have you been asking Spirit, God, the Universe for the same thing for years? Has true love been on your manifesting to-do list for as long as you can remember? Are you constantly struggling with your finances? Are you still looking for that dream job?
It is not as if you have done nothing to make miracles happen for you. You have been working faithfully with your guides and the angels. You have studied the Universal Law of Attraction and the art of manifesting. You have consulted psychics, mediums, healers, diviners and astrologers, and all of them have been telling you ‘it’s coming.’
But still, nothing.
So, what gives? Why has your heart’s desire not arrived yet? I hear this question time and again from clients and I have even dealt with it myself in my own life. So, if this is happening to you, you are certainly not alone.
And no, your intuition is not ‘broken’ and your guides are not ignoring you! The Universe is not too busy making other people’s dreams come true. There are many factors involved in successful manifestation and various possible reasons for the lack of results in your life. Often all you need is a few simple adjustments to create the perfect climate for receiving divine guidance and many blessings.
Firstly, there is the aspect of divine timing. It is often true that we must first work through some very important life lessons and do some personal work, before you can receive what it is we truly desire.
If you truly feel you’ve done all your work, but your desires still are not manifesting, then ask your guides if there is something you are missing, or have possibly been unwilling to see, that is still holding you back. This is also a great time to get a second set of eyes on the situation.
It may also be that those involved in the fulfillment of your desire have not completed their work. In that case, either resign yourself to be patient while setting an intention for them to make rapid progress, or ask your guides if a suitable replacement can be found that is willing to step up now and step into the role.
Thriving In The Winter Of Our Discontent
Enduring a harsh winter with extreme weather, in the midst of an ongoing pandemic, is not an easy feat. It reminds me of the ‘winter of our discontent’ that Shakespeare refers to in the first line of his play Richard III. This winter-pandemic combo is certainly a ‘double whammy’ that could potentially break any camel’s back! But how we choose to deal with these times will determine how it will serve to improve our lives in the long run.
Winter is actually a great time to think about spiritual and personal self-care, especially in places where there are extreme weather conditions. Where I live, in the state of Maine, the winters weather conditions can be severe, making it a time to just surrender, to give myself permission to rest my body, mind and spirit.
It is a time to go within, to meditate, to read, write, paint, to do things that feed the soul. It is good time to connect deeply with our inner being, the subconscious mind, the higher self. It is a time to retreat, allowing the mind to regroup, and to replenish your body, mind, and spirit. When we take the time to get acquainted with ourselves again, we find truth, wisdom, mental and even physical healing.
If you are going through a snowed-up winter right now where you live, use this time to review your bucket list. Reflect on all that is good about your life. Think about things that are not working for you anymore and the best course of action to move forward. Give yourself time to process it all.
The past year has also been a time of getting to know who we really are and what matters to us most. The global pandemic had some major shocks and surprises in store for those of us who had lost touch with ourselves and the people around us. I have been helping many clients working through these challenges.
For many the pandemic has notably been a time of intense solitude. A time of learning to be comfortable in your own company. In the beginning, the hope was that life would go back to normal in just a few months. But as time has gone on, we have had adjust to the so-called ‘new normal.’
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.