When Relationships Are Not Meant To Be

I have in recent months become particularly aware how many people are increasingly reminiscing about failed past relationships. In some cases, these are relationships that go back many years. Some folks even go as far as stalking their ex-partners on social media!

I believe it is mainly due to the unusual circumstances caused by the pandemic over the past two years, which prevented the possibility of meeting a new people, or going out on dates. It also brought many of us intense life lessons regarding love, connection, belonging, and loneliness.

I see these issues coming up in many readings nowadays and it often doesn´t sit too well with some of my clients, who tend to feel that their ‘love luck is down,’ or that that the universe is somehow ‘punishing’ them. In extreme cases, folks even believe a hex or curse may have been placed on them.

I also find many people are talking about ´what ifs.’ If only they had done things differently, how things might have turned out differently. But perhaps, if things were meant to have worked out differently, it would have? Again, this would fall in line with certain life lessons we came to this world to experience. I believe we have chosen to incarnate into this world at a time when romantic and social relationships often tend to be more fleeting and distant, especially because of digital technology and our rushed modern way of living.

Interestingly, I am also seeing lately more divorcées remarrying their former spouse after spending many years apart, and despite having lived a new life with someone else in the interim. This often drives their children insane after all the heartbreak, drama and grief the divorce had unnecessarily caused the family. Again, a hard lesson, but a life lesson nevertheless for all concerned.

Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future ~ Daphne Rose Kingma

The thing that I have truly come to believe (that many spiritual schools of thought also suggest) is that everyone who comes into our life does so for a reason, and that it is all a part of a pre-birth soul agreement we arranged before we arrive in this world. Many other souls here will be our teachers, and we will be theirs. The biggest soul growth comes from how we choose to navigate and manage these soul lessons, and how we grow and spiritually evolve in the process.

I have had clients calling me lately to help them ‘fix’ a failed relationship situation. “I screwed up, and I want to make him love me again,” they will say. Then they ask spirit how they can best go about this. Despite things having gone horribly wrong, they still hold onto a glimmer of false hope that they can somehow magically fix the failure.

We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us ~ Joseph Campbell

What they tend to forget is that the person they are trying so hard to bring back to them, has usually moved on to other personal goals, romantic situations, or may simply be on a different soul mission in this lifetime – which doesn´t include the ex who is now trying to turn back time and win them back. And often the more in denial these people are about the truth of the situation, the more resistant they are to the notion that this imagined love between them was never meant to be and not part of their soul contract in this lifetime.

Someone is not automatically your pre-destined ‘soulmate’ simply because you have decided they must be ‘the one.’