opinions
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
A Year Of Charity And Personal Prosperity
A new year tends to inspire the mindset of a fresh, new start. It is a time of high hopes that this year is going to be better, or that one is not going to make the same mistakes as last year. But what does spirit forecast for the year that lies ahead?
From my guides I received a confirmation that we will be on the right path this year as long as we keep our attitudes positive and our intentions true to our heart. As children of God, Source, Spirit, the Divine we are to always expect only the best, as long as whatever we desire does not harm or deprive others. If we set a sincere intention for our own highest good, as well as the highest good of others, the best will happen for us, in the right way, at the right time.
The year 2023 is set to be a year of greater tolerance, mutual understanding, unconditional love, compassion, and kindness. The world has grown weary with all the conflict, drama and hate in recent years.
At times it is difficult to find these noble qualities within ourselves, especially after we have suffered trauma, loss, or a major disappointment. However, the more we can dig deep within to express these qualities, the better this year will turn out for all of us.
This is a year to strive for the betterment of humankind. Spirit wishes to encourage us to make more of an effort in 2023 to help and support others wherever we can. It does not necessarily have to be financial or material if one simply cannot afford it, but is good if you can. There are many ways we can care for others, including a silent blessing, a hug, a prayer, a meal. Simply mowing someone’s lawn, shoveling their snow, or doing their shopping can sometimes transform, even save a life.
The Magic Of Living Your Truth
Where does magic come from? And, if we’re magical, can we lose our magic? We’re all born magical creatures. We also have integrity right from the moment we take our first breath. You may ask, what does integrity have to do with magic? Well, everything!
However, immediately upon emerging from the birth canal, mainstream society starts imprinting upon us its cultural view points, customs and traditions. Often, they become a kind of law that has been adopted over many generations, even entire epochs in our evolution as human beings, and due to ‘group think‘ we are discouraged from questioning their origin, much less their validity.
Group think happens when the desire for harmony or conformity dominates, leading to irrational and dysfunctional choices, decisions and behaviours simply for the sake of comforming.
An example that comes to mind is the statement that we have probably all used at one time or another: “Oh, I’ll just follow the rule of thumb.” However, we would never make such a statement if we were aware of its origins: this was what men used to say when they were using a stick to punish their wife! By law, the instrument for abuse could only be as big around as the husband’s thumb.
Another senseless tradition that comes to mind is why men wear neck ties. Before the advent of computers enabled us to Google our curiosities, I often thought about how glad I am to be a woman, if for no other reason than I don’t have to wear a necktie. Now, I have to admit that I’m “over the top” regarding many time-tested, and supposedly true forms of bondage. I don’t even like to wear shoes that make my feet feel closed in, so imagine my feelings about effectively placing a noose around my neck. Ay, ay, no way!
The Deeper Meaning Of Color Stereotypes
Have you ever heard the expression someone “talks a blue streak?” It refers to a person who talks rapidly and non-stop. But why use the adjective blue? I suspect it may originate from the metaphysical tradition of the color blue being associated with speaking one’s truth (throat chakra) and creative expression. People who gravitate towards this color are often creatives or performers, such as designers, fine artists, singers, dancers, and so on.
Communicating succinctly is the most powerful way we can make a connection with others beyond our subliminal energy connections with everyone around us. An over-abundance of words, however, translates into a lack of trust on the speaker’s part that she is not accepted by others, be it family members, coworkers, friends, or stranger she encounters along her life path. Speaking clearly and concisely is an art.
The color red also holds a fascination for me, as I perceive it to be a color that is so amazingly misunderstood. Red is generally interpreted as the color of anger, such as “I was so mad, I was seeing red.” Red is also used to denote danger in road signs and red cars are said to be associated with speed and aggressive driving.
But the color red also has many positive symbolic meanings in different cultures, including about passion, excitement, love, vigor, health, life and even spiritual zeal.
Another brilliant color that is often misrepresented is black. Once again, it is generally seen as a color related to depression, sadness, gloom, negativity and evil. In my view black stands out as a harmonious hue. If we see it in a positive light, black can be considered as a sharply defined, elegant color. It is symbolic of power, mystery, and sophistication. No one can deny the glamour of showing up to a dinner party in a smart little black dress or a tailored black tuxedo.
Balance, Flow And Your Perception
So much of our lives seems to be about balance. We spend so much time and energy trying to become more balanced. We are taught that if we balance our life things will be easier. If we are balanced we will be more in tune with nature. Balance your checkbook. Balance your weight. Balance your spiritual life and lifestyle. So many people feel as though they have failed themselves by never achieving this balance.
Well, maybe we are going about it all wrong. There was a time when I believed all things in this universe were balanced. But, when you really stop to think about it. Nothing in this universe is balanced. It is continually flowing.
If we think about our solar system. It isn’t balanced at all. It continuously flows. The planets move in a procession through space. Harmonizing gracefully with one another. Rivers flow. Water flows. Our bodies, comprised mostly of water, flow. The blood in our veins, flows.
Our minds are never still, our thoughts are constantly flowing. Glass, may appear to be solid, but in reality, it is forever flowing. Look at a piece of glass that has been in the same position for 75 or 100 years. The bottom is thicker and the top is thinner. As, gravity has pulled it. It has flowed.
So, again maybe we can learn something from nature. Instead of trying to balance everything, which by the way is impossible. Maybe, we should focus more on finding ways to flow harmoniously through our life. If we are forever trying to do the impossible, we are forever defeated. The world isn’t going to stop and allow us to balance it. So, instead of working against it, we should figure out where we fit into it, and just go with it.
If you don’t know where you fit in the bigger scheme of things, look at it like this: the universe and nature aren’t concerned with the material things. And, maybe we shouldn’t be so consumed by them either. Maybe we should step away from our computers, television sets and phones and try to learn a little bit more about who we really are, as well as about each other.
Conscious Living In A Fear-Based Culture
There are five basic emotions: fear, anger, grief, love and joy; in this order, because this is the order in which most humans experience these emotions.
I am sure you know many people who are fear-based. Perhaps you are fear-based yourself? Fear-based people have allowed our culture to blackmail them into believing that they must live up to certain standards to be acceptable.
For example, many people are dealing with this uncertain economy through the lens of “Oh, we must maintain the status quo, no matter what!”
Try to see this imagined burden for what it is: a mirage, not to mention an energy leak. This mirage stems from the fear that we won’t be able to keep up appearances; in other words not be able to afford the items that our fear-based culture with its lack consciousness and scarcity mentality decrees makes us acceptable to the status quo.
In fact, we could all do just as well with much less, and feel good about ourselves and our efforts; maybe even better because there would be more integrity in our energy, because we would be living in truth!
There are countless other ways our culture perpetuates this hoax. Think about it. I am sure you can think of many more examples. One way to break the chain of this mindless brainwashing is to realize it is really none of our business what others think of us, and vice versa.
Now, think of a squirrel. A squirrel just goes about his business of doing what squirrels do. If he stumbles upon a big, fat, juicy acorn, that is good. But if he doesn’t, he continues to go about his business just the same, and either way life is good, whether his fare is meager, robust or in-between. And, he isn’t concerned about what the other squirrels think about him either way.
Communication Is Key To A Healthy Relationship
The one thing we all want in life is to really be seen and heard. We also have the right to our own opinion and to not be judged for the way we think or feel. When we become good communicators, our interactions with others become so much easier and more constructive.
A common reason why many relationships end is because a couple just don’t seem to be able to communicate their thoughts and feelings clearly to each other. Yes, sometimes it really is that simple.
But expressing your intent clearly, so others understand without a doubt what is being said, is not easy when you feel the person you are trying to talk to is only ‘half listening’ to you.
When giving a psychic medium reading one of the biggest complaints about a relationship issue that I often hear is that my client’s partner “never listens” to them. When they try to talk about important things, the other person changes the subject or remains distracted. They don’t care enough about the other persons feelings to even discuss the topic.
Not only being able to communicate clearly but also being a good listener is the foundation for a healthy, fulfilling, and lasting relationship. When we really listen to what other people are saying, it shows respect and caring for the person or situation being discussed. When people feel they are heard, it encourages them to open up and share their feelings and opinions.
When you would like to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone, your facial expressions and posture say a lot before you even begin to speak. When you sit down to discuss any issue with your arms crossed, for example, it does not convey “I’m open to what you have to say.” When you fidget or keep looking at your phone, it sends the message you can’t wait to talk, or the phone is more important than the conversation. When you try to make eye contact it translates as caring enough to pay attention. When you are speaking to anyone, and they do the old eye roll that sends a clear direct message of how they feel.