forgiveness
Apologies From The Other Side
Departed loved ones have come through to me many times over the years with a message of apology for how they treated me, or one of my clients. There is typically a common thread in these spirit messages: they didn’t know better at the time, but they do now, and they now see things differently. With the apology usually also comes great regret and remorse, acknowledging the pain they caused us.
For anyone who has been on the receiving end of abuse, I have come to believe that there is also a lesson in this. For me, the lesson has been learning to love myself. I was a people-pleaser for most of my life, and to some extent this is probably still the case, but there is a lesson in this too, in learning about self-love and learning to put my own needs first. My experience has been instrumental in enabling me to identify with others, and, in turn, I have become more able to help others the best I can.
I love the teachings of the spirit guide Emmanuel, as channeled by the late Pat Rhodegast. Emmanuel says, “If we were not meant to have done something, we would not have, but that it was all appropriate at the time.” I seem to recall his teachings stating that this does not mean that we should condone the harsh treatment of others.
As adults, we have more choices, but when family and loved ones treat us harshly, we often hope that things would get better, or that perhaps they were just having a bad day. I personally would do just about anything to please them, desperate to get their approval. Others often commented on and in hindsight they were right, but I would continue to hope.
Healing Painful Soul Memories
Every moment in our life creates a soul memory. Some of those memories are wonderful, and some are dreadful. The most horrific memories can be buried so deep, that the are no longer conscious memories, but they still affect how we move forward in life.
For example, a person who was sexually abused as a child may gain excessive weight or become self-destructive in their habits, in order to punish themselves, or to protect themselves from being the source of someone wanting to abuse them again. Because this abuse can happen at such a young age, the child may not have a conscious recollection of it until something in the present triggers it. They often have the barriers of protection they have created, but they do not know why.
When a trigger comes to surface that brings up a subconscious soul memory, it needs to be dealt with, or it will start to eat away at all the enjoyment in a person’s life. It will ruin their relationships, friendships and even work relationships, because the person simply cannot function at their true and full capacity with joy in their soul.
How do you heal painful soul memories? It takes a lot of work. It does not happen in a moment, or overnight. It is a matter of looking at each aspect, one at a time, forgiving what happened, forgiving yourself for carrying it for so long, and releasing it from your soul memory.
Pet Loss And Grief From A Psychic Perspective
Losing a pet can be one of the most devastating things we go through. Many people are caught off guard emotionally when their animals transition. And too often the people around us do not understand the strong bond that can be formed between a human and their animal. They might say insensitive things like, “It’s only an animal. Just get another one.” These attitudes are not useful or helpful when grieving any kind of a loss.
The connection with an animal companion can be very deep and profound. They have no pretense. We do not need to wonder what kind of a mood our pet companions are in, and how it will influence our connection to them. Our animal companions join us on this planet to teach us about pure and unconditional love. So, they always emanate this energy to us.
Rarely do our fellow humans express this level of unconditional love. Our animal friends are nearly always available to us when we need them. This is certainly not true of our fellow humans.
When we lose an animal companion, it is important for us to recognize the depth of their connection to us and understand that the pain of grief is real. I can remember my teacher asking, when we approached this topic of grief and loss, “Do you give yourself permission to go through the grief?”
It is also important to support ourselves in whatever way is necessary, when it comes to the loss of a beloved pet. Whether this means joining a support group, going to a therapist that specializes in grief and bereavement, and honoring wherever we are at in the process. There is a plethora of resources online related to pet loss and grief support.
Make Haste To Welcome Your Blessings
A friend was bursting with excitement recently over the possibility of a purchasing a new home. Her dream of home ownership was finally coming to fruition. Over and over again, she exclaimed, “I cannot believe this is actually happening!”
About ten minutes into our conversation, I found myself somewhat dismayed by my friend’s inability to grasp the blessing in front of her. Astonishingly, she cried tears of joy for the opportunity to purchase her dream home, while quickly losing her enthusiasm and asking how could she be on the receiving end of such a gift?
Somewhere in my dear friend’s consciousness was embedded a belief that not only was she not capable of owning prized real estate, she was equally not deserving of it.
I threw her a life vest, as I will no longer jump in the river of despair to save anyone. Although the tide of denial was high, and the currents of self-doubt were very strong, I reminded her of her rightful place in a glorious life. I reminded her that the Divine Presence within the Universe existed within her very being, and that love in its highest form radiated throughout her entire being.
Now, you might be asking, what’s love got to do with this? Love has everything to do with moving our minds and souls beyond self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness. Love is a master healer that goes hand in hand with forgiveness. In its highest expression, love brings forth life, joy, and empowers each of us to become co-creators within our magnificent world. Love can be directed deep down to heal old wounds that have become anchors, and can free us from cold rivers of crippling despair.
Forgiveness Is The Solution
Forgiveness may be the path to a truly happy and fulfilled life. In his book The Forgiveness Solution, Dr. Philip Friedman puts forth the idea that all our emotional concerns, such as judgment, anger, and grievance, come from our inability to forgive. When we hold onto this emotional baggage, it harms everything. Hurt people hurt people. Taken to the extreme, it may lead to self-harm, or harm to others. But there’s a way out of this vicious cycle.
The first and most important step is to learn to forgive ourselves and develop, what Dr. Friedman calls ‘self-regulation skills.’ In essence these skills are defined by the classic Serenity prayer for courage to change what we can, acceptance of what we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. In addition, becoming wholly healthy, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, will better allow self-forgiveness.
When we engage in our daily spiritual practice, we should ideally include a mantra about forgiveness. It may take a while for the idea to take root. Habits take about 30 days to become routine, but after you’ve begun to forgive, you can let the pain go by the wayside.
Keeping a positive attitude is essential to the process of forgiveness. This doesn’t mean that you have to be happy all the time. What is does mean is that setbacks and obstacles are regarded as challenges to overcome, rather than insurmountable hurdles.
Working With Elemental Spirit Guides
There are several different classifications of spirit guides and energies that we as humans can work with to help us on our journey. Most spiritual traditions teach about the elemental energy within the four classical elements. This is found in ancient Buddhist texts, Native American spirituality, shamanic traditions, within the Judeo-Christian and other monotheistic traditions.
Working with elemental spirit guides can give us insights and strategies to promote positive changes in our lives, reveal our unconscious self-destructive patterns, and transform our subconscious mind and create a harmonious and balanced internal story. Elemental guides can also assist us when we are walking through a difficulty or life challenge, as well as intensify our ability to manifest the lives we want.
It is not difficult to connect with the elemental forces. There are many strategies that can assist in bringing these elemental forces into our everyday lives.
The Spirit Of Water
The spirit of water is associated with emotions and love. It can be used to help in assisting with emotional challenges, grief, and a better understanding and greater experience of love in our lives.
In many ancient traditions there is a parallel between water and being humble. It is said to be the humblest of all the elements, always seeking the lowest point. However, in its humble position it is also one of the strongest elements. In seeking the lowest position, it can evaporate into the air, satiate the flames of fire, and carve through the mountains of the earth.
The Return Of The Divine Feminine
Sometimes when I do psychic readings, I sense a powerful female presence from Spirit, with wings spread wide, who appears to be lending strength and support to my clients. I recognize her as the Egyptian Goddess Isis, or by her Greek name, Auset.
When Goddess Isis comes into a reading, I know that serious business is at hand and that my client needs to be brave, strong, and to believe in themselves. This brings in the grander subject of the Divine Feminine and how that is showing up during my client’s reading.
The awakening of the feminine is alive and happening all around us, and more widely recognized now than ever before. The rise of the Divine Feminine is showing up in all sorts of arenas, including the corporate workplace. Women, as a whole, are speaking up and no longer have much tolerance for sexual discrimination, lower pay rates, or other outmoded ways of female disempowerment.
However, the interesting thing about the Divine Feminine is that it has a quality of power that is not based on forcefulness. It works more in alignment with the psychic realm and intuition. The Divine Feminine works in harmony with what is, and ways to empower everyone.