trauma
Slow And Steady Is The Best Path To Lasting Love
In today’s superficial world of online dating, hookup apps and sexual promiscuity, it’s has become a daunting challenge to find a suitable partner who is genuinely ready for long-term commitment and relationship monogamy.
Also, in the dating scene, people typically wear masks, especially during the initial introduction. Everyone wants to give a good first impression and rarely want to discuss their truth, or past traumas. Dates also like to exaggerate or omit information, to make themselves sound more important or successful than they really are.
A few weeks into a new relationship is usually when the cracks start to show and the truth begins to float to the surface. For example, he comes from a good family and appears to be successful on paper, but he is emotionally fragile, or verbally abusive and narcissistic in relationships. Or, he claims he is totally single when you first meet him, but there’s actually someone else in his life and they’re not breaking that up anytime soon, because they have money invested together or are married.
We too often get so caught up in the fuzzy feeling and fantasy of a person possibly being ‘the one,’ that we forget to question if they are in alignment with what we truly need to add value to our life. Always listen to what a date is telling you, without sugar-coating it for yourself.
Through The Looking Glass
We tend to not see ourselves accurately. We too often choose to focus on our shortcomings and weaknesses, such as we perceive them to be. And I believe we are all guilty of this. I have not in all my years met anyone who was truly satisfied with themselves – until it was sometimes too late.
I was just as guilty of this as anyone else. My childhood was one that I wouldn’t have wished on my worst enemy. I was abandoned by both parents when I was very young. I was raised by an aunt and uncle, who took pleasure in reminding me that my parents did not love me. My aunt also took every opportunity to beat the daylights out of me, while my uncle did nothing.
When I hit puberty, several older males in my ‘family’ began to stalk and harass me. I’d go into the kitchen and soon find myself backed up against a wall. Nobody believed me. Nobody did anything to stop it – not even when I was raped at 16 by a family friend’s son, who was deemed to be a “good boy” and “would never do anything like that.”
I could go on and on about all the horrible things that happened to me, but once I turned that momentous age of 16, and having had the experiences that I have had, I left my aunt and uncle’s home. I went to live with my boyfriend, his sister and their mom. When I left, my uncle dumped all my clothes on the front lawn.
Connecting With Deceased Loved Ones
When a loved one dies, it is never easy. It is always traumatic to lose someone who we have lived with, taken care of, loved and nurtured – be it a partner, spouse, parent, sibling, relative or friend. The feeling of them suddenly no longer being here can be devastating. Even their little quirks, which sometimes annoyed you when they were alive, is forever missed. We suddenly miss everything about them!
Thankfully, the spirit of those we love remain very much alive after their passing. Despite the ‘vehicle they drove around in,’ namely their physical body, may no longer be around, their spirit is still around. They can hear and see us, and they can feel our emotions.
I can tell you that when we call our loved one’s name, they are with us. When we pray for them, they appreciate it. Greatly. The two best things you can do is pray for your loved ones and say their name out loud. Continue to talk to them. And when you talk to them, they respond through sending you thoughts and signs. They also come to us in the dream state when we are sleeping. Write them a letter and put it under your pillow, and try to remember your astral travels the next day.
Your loved ones are never far from you. Love is the energy that keeps us connected with our loved ones. Sometimes they will give you a little visit. Remember to ask and you shall receive. Knock and that door will open.
Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?
A client recently shared with me how being honest in her work environment did not serve her best interest in the end. Being completely honest caused her to not receive her annual salary increase. She feels that had she used a lie about being ill, or even having a flat tire, as a reason for not making it to work on time, as opposed to going back to sleep after the alarm went off, she would not have had her employment record blemished. Despite meeting targets and good customer feedback during the previous twelve months, being honest had actually gone against her in this instance.
Our conversation reminded me of a similar incident I experienced myself many years ago.
My father and I had entered into business with partners on the island of Tenerife, in the Canary Islands. Whilst my father was winding up the sale of the family home, after his divorce from my mother, I’d gone ahead and rented a small apartment close to the business, whilst learning the ins and outs from the family we were going into business with.
There was a lot of building going on, in and around that area. My apartment was owned by the construction company, whose office was on the ground floor of my apartment building. On a regular basis I passed the workmen, as I entered and left the building. Despite all the construction activity, my apartment was private, secure, and surrounded by a balcony with blinds, which reached halfway down the window. Nobody from below could actually see inside.
The Past Can Prevent Your Future
Why am I stuck? Why am I not advancing? Why can’t I find love? Why is money never coming to me and always flowing out from me? These are questions I struggled with for a long time in my own life.
I delved deep into many aspects of life design, manifesting change, the Law of Attraction, deliberate creating, and personal growth and reinvention. I have watched, listened and been active in more workshops, online webinars and online learning in this genre than most will ever do in a lifetime. I have read the books and taken many notes. I have made the visions boards and spoken the affirmations. But no matter where I turned, I was always confronted with actual reality versus trying to ‘positive think and believe’ something else. How can we believe we are destined to be something different or better simply by speaking it…or visualizing it? The truth is, it isn’t that simple.
In my search for answers I have also watched others who have participated in the forums, seminars and workshops, and actually achieved something significant in their life. And it has been my observation that the people who have truly risen above their circumstances and achieved their dreams, are the ones that did the deeper inner work.
Make Haste To Welcome Your Blessings
A friend was bursting with excitement recently over the possibility of a purchasing a new home. Her dream of home ownership was finally coming to fruition. Over and over again, she exclaimed, “I cannot believe this is actually happening!”
About ten minutes into our conversation, I found myself somewhat dismayed by my friend’s inability to grasp the blessing in front of her. Astonishingly, she cried tears of joy for the opportunity to purchase her dream home, while quickly losing her enthusiasm and asking how could she be on the receiving end of such a gift?
Somewhere in my dear friend’s consciousness was embedded a belief that not only was she not capable of owning prized real estate, she was equally not deserving of it.
I threw her a life vest, as I will no longer jump in the river of despair to save anyone. Although the tide of denial was high, and the currents of self-doubt were very strong, I reminded her of her rightful place in a glorious life. I reminded her that the Divine Presence within the Universe existed within her very being, and that love in its highest form radiated throughout her entire being.
Now, you might be asking, what’s love got to do with this? Love has everything to do with moving our minds and souls beyond self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness. Love is a master healer that goes hand in hand with forgiveness. In its highest expression, love brings forth life, joy, and empowers each of us to become co-creators within our magnificent world. Love can be directed deep down to heal old wounds that have become anchors, and can free us from cold rivers of crippling despair.
Healing Your Family Lineage
Have you ever heard a whisper from your ancestors that is clearly guiding you? Sometimes it also comes as a gesture of approval. I have heard my fair share, including one of my dearest family members whispering to me, and calling me by name, as she left her hospital bed at the time of her passing. It was so clear, sacred and spot on! She was letting me know how to deal with issues that would be coming my way after her passing, because she would no longer be there to protect me. And, oh, the validation! It meant so much – far more than my mere words can express. Stemming the flow is indeed observed by our ancestors.
Every lineage has wounds that are passed along throughout generations. The trauma is deeply ingrained in our ancestry. There are no exceptions. Lucky are those of us who have chosen to affect the healing of these imprints. Usually, in a generation, it is the task of the person that is most misunderstood.
If that person is you, it is your sacred task and a path of honor that is earned through hardship on many levels, especially familial relationships. No worries. Your ancestors are guiding you. If you listen closely, you will hear them speak encouragingly. And, be sure to watch for indications of their presence. Indeed, they are witnessing for you.