traits
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are:
Support And Listen To Your Psychic Child
How does one know if your child is metaphysically gifted? In my experience all young children have some psychic ability, mainly because their souls arrived from the other side very recently and they are still very much attuned to the higher frequency of the spirit realm.
Many parents will tell you that their kids have premonitions and can see those who have passed. Some kids also see other children who have passed, and even play with them. In fact, many children have imaginary friends, whom I believe are not as ‘imaginary’ as adults may like to think!
However, some children have exceptional psychic sensitivity and are highly intuitive. These kids can ‘see’ and ‘hear’ at a very young age what others cannot. It can be difficult for them, but they manage well if they have people that pay careful attention and patiently listen to them without judgment.
When I was a child, I felt the presence of loved ones who had passed, as well as my spirit guides. At first, I thought it was normal and that everyone saw and felt such things. But once I realized this was not the case, I tried to keep it secret, because I worried that I might upset my parents. I sensed it would be hard for them to understand, especially my mother who is very religious. But through the years my mom and dad learned to understand and accept my psychic abilities.
Many children keep their psychic experiences hidden, and some shut it down completely. Some learn to develop their psychic talents, while others ignore or suppress it. Often, they block their original psychic awareness because their perceptions and experiences frighten, or they want to be ‘normal’ like everybody else.
Many adults closed off their sixth sense when they were younger, and it can be very challenging to reconnect with it later in life. Parents of gifted children need to be patient and open-minded, so they can support and nurture their child’s innate gifts and help them process and understand their experiences.
The World Needs Highly Sensitive People
You’re being way too sensitive. Get over yourself. Don’t take everything so personally. Why are you being such a cry baby?
If you are a highly sensitive person (HSP) you have probably had others say such things to you at some point. But there is nothing wrong with you. According to renowned HSP researcher Dr. Elaine Aron, your sensitivity trait is perfectly normal. In fact, it is found in 15 to 20 percent of the population, which is way too many people for it to be a ‘disorder.’ However, it is still rare or exceptional enough to be misunderstood by most people around you, if they are part of the remaining 80 percent ‘non-sensitive’ population.
The highly sensitive person has increased sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli. It is also referred to by some experts as having sensory processing sensitivity. HSPs are more reactive, for example, to negativity, unpleasant emotion, or violence.
Because much of western culture is dominated by extroverted types, the more reflective, introspective HSP sometimes feel lost in the shuffle. They are the ones who need extra time to process things, who may sit by ourselves, or in like-minded pairs, at a large gathering.
HSPs seek to form deeper bonds and keep the peace instead of fighting. A noisy, chaotic, and rude world is often very overwhelming for them. It can be especially difficult for HSP men in a misogynist society, since many of the HSP traits are not celebrated as traditionally ‘masculine.’
The truth is that the world needs HSPs and their unique gifts. The HSP’s abilities to console, nurture, heal, and build relationships are invaluable for humanity. We all want a world where universal qualities like justice, empathy, and honesty are celebrated and practiced.
At work, they are the types who notice everything and attend to the smallest details, though they may often be overlooked for promotion. In family life, they are the ones who settle disagreements and find common ground. In the political world, they are diplomats and peace-keepers.
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
Be True To Yourself To Find Your Soulmate
How do I find my soulmate? This is indeed the magic question. Many people are constantly searching for that special person, but just seem unable to find them.
Actually, achieving this life goal is often simpler than most people believe it to be. The direct path to your soulmate is paved with clarity of intention. Many people do not find what they wish for in life simply because they don’t know what they are looking for.
Sometimes, people end up finding the person they used to be looking for a decade or two ago, because they never ‘updated’ their intention. As we grow and evolve in our life, our priorities, goals, wants and needs change. But we do not always make the effort to match our intention and energy vibration to it.
To find your soulmate, the first thing to recognize, or reconsider, is what do you truly want? Make a list of traits you wish for in a partner: caring, sense of humor, fun-loving, adventurous, happy, joyful, good listener, honest, dependable, loyal, respectful, kind, confident, nurturing, strong, ambitious, trustworthy?
Keep the list short and concise, as the more complicated your wish list becomes, the longer and more complicated the manifesting process will become. Nobody is perfect, do expect too much. Instead identify your shortlist of ‘must have’ qualities that are non-negotiable. Identify your absolute deal-breakers.
You must look at what is really important to you; what is a priority. Once you have decided, stick to those items of priority. Every time you meet someone new, make sure the person has these qualities. If they don’t, move on. This is key to finding your happiness and fulfillment – not to settle for less than you deserve.
You need to believe you deserve this and to be happy. It sounds basic and simple, but you will be surprised to know how many people tend to put their own needs last and end up with someone who who treats them poorly…just to be with someone. It is important to remember you are important. Ask yourself honestly what you want, need and deserve.
A Different Approach To Calling On Archangel Michael
Many believers call upon Archangel Michael for spiritual guidance and protection. He is a wonderful protector, emanating a safe and soothing energy and presence.
Recently, he has shown me a technique to better work with him. I have taught it to several of my clients in need of emotional support and inner strength, and it has worked wonders! They have reported feeling lighter, stronger and clearer around issues that had felt blocked and stagnant for years.
The technique is essentially a simple shift in perspective and in our asking. When we are not seeing clearly what we truly need in our lives, it can help to simply ask the angels to help us see the issue differently, as well as how to ask for what we want in a more effective way.
Typically, when asking for clear guidance or protection, we would simply call upon Archangel Michael to ask him for whatever we need or desire. However, he recently revealed to me that we should rather ask to have those personal qualities activated within us that will empower us to manifest the things we need and desire for ourselves.
This approach leads to a personal transformation that increase our self-awareness and self-reliance, and hastens our spiritual growth. For example, instead of calling upon Archangel Michael every morning to be by your side and protect you throughout the day, you should rather ask him to activate the qualities of courage and inner strength within you.
This will create a ripple effect in your life, emanating from your core and altering the world around you. You will feel more empowered and daily life will be a little easier as you assert your newfound authority.
Birth Order And The Empath
Most of us are familiar with the notion that the personality traits of the firstborn are typically different from the middle sibling, or the youngest child in the family, and so on. But many empaths do not realize how they may be impacted by their birth order in the family.
In The Birth Order Book, author Kevin Lemar gives a detailed outline of these so-called ‘birth order’ characteristics and qualities.
Firstborns, as well as only children, for example, are often associated with leadership attributes and stronger personalities, along with being more protective, fearless, and reliable than their siblings. However, the firstborn may also exhibit some less desirable traits, such as being controlling, bossy and impatient.
The middle-born tend to be social butterflies and peacekeepers, who are focused on fairness and keeping everyone happy. The youngest-born tend to be fun-loving, outgoing, creative, free spirited and can be adept at manipulating others to do things for them.
Only children tend to be mature for their age, perfectionistic and conscientious, but may feel the burden of high parental expectations.
The Firstborn Empath
My experience with empaths has been that the firstborn and only child empaths are indeed more protective, fearless, independent, reliable, but in the empath these protective instincts are magnified tenfold.
They also tend to feel it is their responsibility to solve every human problem and protect everyone around them, regardless. I often see a very enhanced sense of responsibility.