self-love
Healing Through Radical Self-Forgiveness
There’s no getting around the fact that we’re our own worst critics. There has been much written on the subject of forgiving others, but what about forgiving ourselves? This is the first and most crucial step to real, lasting, healthy self-love.
The roots of the pain many of us feel are guilt and shame – the knowledge that we have wronged or hurt someone else, and the lasting fallout resulting in self-harm. Guilt is sometimes a catalyst to change behavior, but shame often comes with long-term effects, such as negative thinking patterns, self-harming behavior such as addiction, depression or anxiety, and self-sabotage.
Over long periods shame is like a poison in our bloodstream which touches every aspect of our lives. But it doesn’t have to last! There is a healthy way to overcome the legacies of shame and guilt, and it all starts with compassion.
Choose Your Life Partner Wisely
Many people are looking for that soulmate who will truly be a life-long partner. But because they are so desperate to find that special person, they sometimes align with those that do not necessarily have all the qualities that are important in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. This is unfortunately not how you find your ‘forever.’
In the old days divorce was not even something someone considered once they got married. Neither did couples live together, unless they were married. It was frowned upon when a baby was born out of wedlock. If someone did get pregnant, there was usually a quick wedding, and that was that.
Thoughts On Depression
Clients sometimes call me regarding their own, or a loved one’s depression. Of course, I am not a medical practitioner and as a matter of course I always recommend that the caller seeks professional advice. However, a psychic reading can sometimes help the customer to unmask what might lie beneath their ‘blues’ from a spiritual perspective.
Lately, one cannot help but notice the media attention that mental health issues are being given here in Europe. Companies here are encouraged, for example, to acknowledge the mental health issues of their staff. The topic also receives much attention in the media, even with the help of celebrities and royalty.
Calming The Stormy Waters Of The Inner Child
I walk on the beach daily, near my home. In fact, I often walk multiple times a day. This is my meditative and contemplative time, to reflect and see what areas in my life I can improve or change, what areas are working well, and what shifts are going on.
In the morning, the water can be as smooth as glass. This represents true peace, clarity and reflection. In the afternoon, the water can have three-foot to ten-foot waves, and the beach space that was so abundant in the morning, is gone. This represents the turmoil that is happening in my life and on our planet, or just what comes and goes in the daily news.
In the evening, the water settles down. It’s not quite as glass-like as in the morning, however it has a small and calming wave. This represents all the cleansing that happened during the day and the cleansing that is to happen through the night, bringing me full circle to another calm again in the morning.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
I believe that my own tendency to compare myself with others began at a young age, when my mother would constantly compare me to my cousins. For example, she would talk affectionately about their lovely physical attributes, like their thick hair, high cheekbones or deep-set eyes. Their personalities were louder and more assertive than mine too.
I was an overweight kid, and the more withdrawn I became, the more I would eat. I felt that my overweight was seen by others as greed, but I now believe I was layering deep insecure feelings.
I now know too that I was not meant to be like my cousins. In hindsight, I thank my mother for the life lessons. Perhaps she helped me in learning about insecurity and experiencing an inferiority complex. Today, I have a much deeper understanding of how my clients feel, when they don’t feel good enough. Or, as is often the case, when they are concerned about their children not feeling good enough for whatever reason. This is not always due to faulty parenting. Parents often suffer terribly when they see their kids, whatever their ages, suffer from lack of self-esteem. They see their kids as having every reason to be super-confident, yet witness them withdrawn and unhappy.
Holding On To A Broken Relationship
Are you waiting for him to return to you? Has your break-up stopped you from living your life? Have you decided that no matter what anyone has said to you, that you know that he is coming back to you? Holding on to a broken relationship is a common occurrence in many people’s lives. One person moves on, another does not.
When confronted with this dilemma, you may believe he will be back. I know him; he can’t function without me. He needs me. He knows we are spiritually connected. However, this is often not the truth of the situation. It is simply your ego egging you on to believe what you want to believe.
I usually ask people to go into their ‘gut’ and take the heart out of it. But still I will get, “My gut says he will be back.” This is ego, because the response is so quick and without breathing in and allowing your guides to give you the proper answer.
The Power Of Your Words
If only people realized how powerful their words are each time they make a statement. For example, I have heard some of my callers say things like, “I always attract partners who cheat on me.” The caller will be phoning in with hopes of getting a prediction which indicates a brighter future. And yet, in the meantime, they are programming their subconscious to accept their old negative dialogue.
I aim to help these clients understand that bringing about change is a process. To begin with, they truly have to want change. In truth, there are some individuals who derive a subconscious comfort from remaining stuck. Also, they need to feel worthy, which is why positive affirmations are so helpful.