self-love
Releasing A Toxic Relationship
Many of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.
So many excuses, so little truth.
It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.
It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.
You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.
A Sense Of Curiosity – A Message From My Guides
It is customary these days to get information instantly by using various methods of modern technology. Knowledge of all kinds is at your fingertips whenever you need it. Although some research is mandated for school or work projects, while other inquiries are conducted to satisfy a general need to know, we challenge you to look at your world from a different viewpoint and conduct a different kind of search.
Allow time to stand still every now and then. Extend your curiosity internally. Take some time to reflect on your past decisions, current situations and potential future.
The past can be a delightful place to visit in order to reminisce about wonderful experiences, evaluate decisions or learn from events, however, we do not suggest that you ‘live’ there permanently. When you consider some of the questionable choices you might have made, be kind to yourself as you ponder what was decided and why. Remember that your younger self will not have had the benefit of the great experience, wisdom and insight from which you can learn now.
Healing Through Radical Self-Forgiveness
There’s no getting around the fact that we’re our own worst critics. There has been much written on the subject of forgiving others, but what about forgiving ourselves? This is the first and most crucial step to real, lasting, healthy self-love.
The roots of the pain many of us feel are guilt and shame – the knowledge that we have wronged or hurt someone else, and the lasting fallout resulting in self-harm. Guilt is sometimes a catalyst to change behavior, but shame often comes with long-term effects, such as negative thinking patterns, self-harming behavior such as addiction, depression or anxiety, and self-sabotage.
Over long periods shame is like a poison in our bloodstream which touches every aspect of our lives. But it doesn’t have to last! There is a healthy way to overcome the legacies of shame and guilt, and it all starts with compassion.
Choose Your Life Partner Wisely
Many people are looking for that soulmate who will truly be a life-long partner. But because they are so desperate to find that special person, they sometimes align with those that do not necessarily have all the qualities that are important in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. This is unfortunately not how you find your ‘forever.’
In the old days divorce was not even something someone considered once they got married. Neither did couples live together, unless they were married. It was frowned upon when a baby was born out of wedlock. If someone did get pregnant, there was usually a quick wedding, and that was that.
Thoughts On Depression
Clients sometimes call me regarding their own, or a loved one’s depression. Of course, I am not a medical practitioner and as a matter of course I always recommend that the caller seeks professional advice. However, a psychic reading can sometimes help the customer to unmask what might lie beneath their ‘blues’ from a spiritual perspective.
Lately, one cannot help but notice the media attention that mental health issues are being given here in Europe. Companies here are encouraged, for example, to acknowledge the mental health issues of their staff. The topic also receives much attention in the media, even with the help of celebrities and royalty.
Calming The Stormy Waters Of The Inner Child
I walk on the beach daily, near my home. In fact, I often walk multiple times a day. This is my meditative and contemplative time, to reflect and see what areas in my life I can improve or change, what areas are working well, and what shifts are going on.
In the morning, the water can be as smooth as glass. This represents true peace, clarity and reflection. In the afternoon, the water can have three-foot to ten-foot waves, and the beach space that was so abundant in the morning, is gone. This represents the turmoil that is happening in my life and on our planet, or just what comes and goes in the daily news.
In the evening, the water settles down. It’s not quite as glass-like as in the morning, however it has a small and calming wave. This represents all the cleansing that happened during the day and the cleansing that is to happen through the night, bringing me full circle to another calm again in the morning.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
I believe that my own tendency to compare myself with others began at a young age, when my mother would constantly compare me to my cousins. For example, she would talk affectionately about their lovely physical attributes, like their thick hair, high cheekbones or deep-set eyes. Their personalities were louder and more assertive than mine too.
I was an overweight kid, and the more withdrawn I became, the more I would eat. I felt that my overweight was seen by others as greed, but I now believe I was layering deep insecure feelings.
I now know too that I was not meant to be like my cousins. In hindsight, I thank my mother for the life lessons. Perhaps she helped me in learning about insecurity and experiencing an inferiority complex. Today, I have a much deeper understanding of how my clients feel, when they don’t feel good enough. Or, as is often the case, when they are concerned about their children not feeling good enough for whatever reason. This is not always due to faulty parenting. Parents often suffer terribly when they see their kids, whatever their ages, suffer from lack of self-esteem. They see their kids as having every reason to be super-confident, yet witness them withdrawn and unhappy.