The Wisdom Of Forgiveness With Healthy Boundaries

We all have experienced the unease of feeling unable to forgive someone who has wronged us in some way. Sometimes it is really hard to let go of the way someone has gossiped about us, for example. It is difficult to understand why some people have the need to act the way they do, especially when these people are directly or indirectly related to us. Some families just split up and have nothing more to do with each other, because of this lack of forgiveness.

I was meditating on this one night before bed, and asked the Great Spirit to give me deeper insight and understanding on forgiveness. I had consciously made the healing decision for myself, that I will no longer share and keep space open for those who continue to do the same things to me, over and over, because it is unhealthy for me. But, I still felt the need to forgive. And I needed insight on how to do this.

While in a deep sleep, I saw all the people that have caused dis-ease and negative energy to enter my life through their negative words, actions and energy. The a great light appeared. This ‘light’ was a feeling of pure healing. It was the Holy Spirit filling me up with loving, healing light, and taking away any and all negativity that I absorbed from these people. This healing energy took away all the hate, bitterness, anger and all negative emotions. I was shown how good it feels to forgive and let go.

Then I was told by this very strong, loving energy that I do not have to share space with these people. I can forgive, yet still live my life without making the same choices to cause the same negative emotions again.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it ~ Mark Twain

I was then told by my spirit guide, who was also there, that we all have the wonderful gift of free will. While he was talking to me he made a flame appear, and asked me, “If you put your finger into this flame, what will happen?” I said, “I will burn myself!” The spirit then said, “So, why would you do it not just once, but again and again? Instead you can put the flame over there, on the ledge. From a distance you can observe the flame, but you don’t have to interact with it.”

He made me understand that healthy boundaries is something that I must keep with some people in my life, as some people will never change. If a person changes, then you can possibly decide to share space with them again. Whatever you decide, it is your free will.

I said thank you several times, feeling really great. Then I woke up. I felt lighter and free from the negative emotions that were weighing me down.

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free ~ Catherine Ponder

We can all forgive those who have treated us badly, but just because you forgive the person does not mean you still need to keep spending time with them, because it would be really very silly to keep repeating the same behavior, expecting a different result. When we are wise and have the knowledge to do better, and make better choices, we can do that.

I have since forgiven, but I also know it’s okay to not forget why we have created those healthy boundaries. My philosophy these days is to let go, and let God deal with those people. I’m thankful that he has the job of judging those who trespass against their fellow man, instead of me. I wouldn’t want that job for anything in the world. However, teaching the importance of forgiveness and healthy boundaries – now that is a job I can do!