empathy
Friendship And The Empath
Friends are a wonderful addition to our lives. In some cases they even take the place of family of origin, and become our chosen family. A healthy friendship is a balanced one – give and take, trust, loyalty, acceptance and truth delivered with compassion. Unfortunately, for the empath, friendship can also be treacherous territory, sometimes rife with debbie downers, energy thieves, and psychic vampires.
There are different levels of friendship, from casual social friendships to those we call ‘best friends.’ These best friends are ones with whom we feel safe sharing our deepest secrets, fears, hopes and dreams.
Social media has made it much easier in recent years to connect with friends. With a click of the keyboard a new friend can be made or an old acquaintance rekindled. Social media sites have even recognized the importance of providing the choice of putting people into the appropriate category, such as people from work or close friends. People can be also unfriended, blocked or reported if they are out of bounds, and what is seen publicly by our friends can be limited.
Why I Do Readings
The main thing I notice about being a channel is the focus on what healing is, its purpose, and how being a healer in service to others is held against being selfish.
If someone is fulfilled by sacrificial service (victim-savior relations) and this is their mission in life, then they would likely derive the greatest joys from this kind of sacrifice, because Spirit would bring them seekers who want that type of service. It is a sacrifice, indeed, although often cleverly disguised as a helping venue.
In any case, one can pick any way of healing that resonates for you. For me, I find that I prefer to educate my clients in terms of what an empath can and cannot (or should not do) in my opinion. Personally, I am not fulfilled by victim-savior scenarios. I don’t find them to be healthy on any level.
All the same, I used to fall into the trap of trying to ‘fix’ people, to the point that it was my main modus operandi in life – being prey for others that are seeking life source energy from others. I discontinued doing that when I realized several truths:
Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists
Why are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.
But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.
An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.
There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.
Mirror-Touch Synesthesia (MTS)
Science is catching up with the empath, literally. Recently I came across a fascinating book titles Mirror Touch by Dr. Joel Salinas, a Harvard trained researcher and neurologist at Massachusetts General. It explores the phenomenon of Mirror-touch synesthesia (MTS) – a rare neurological trait that causes someone to feel the emotional and physical experiences of other people.
The word synesthesia means joined perception, or to blend the five senses. Science recognizes over 80 types of synesthesia.
Because of Dr. Salinas and other brave professionals, science is sitting up and taking notice and actually exploring the brain and how it functions in individuals with these traits. Dr. Salinas uses his ability of feeling the emotional and physical pain of his patients to treat their symptoms, as if they were his own. The experience for him and others like him is challenging and draining.
Energy Vampires And Psychic Bullies
Is someone or something draining your energy? Most of the time it’s someone whom you are either trying to please, or get approval from, or someone you’re trying to help. You may begin to notice that something changes in your energy field each time you are around this person, or that you feel an imbalance of some sort afterwards. When I say being around a person, this can mean exposure to them through meeting in person, texting, talking over the phone, and even energetically, or psychically.
Energy bullies and psychic vampires are very good sucking the life force right out of you. Unfortunately, you may not notice this is happening, until after the fact. However, once you realize what has happened, identifying it is the first step to proactive healing, regeneration, and protection from allowing it to happen again.
Near-Death Experiences Teach Us About Living
Near-death experiences have been in the public consciousness for some time now. The experience itself is rather universal across different cultures: a feeling of peace and serenity, as well as a glimpse of the world beyond, before returning to this life. Each of these experiences has a lesson to be learned for those still living, no matter who the survivor may be.
Maybe the most widely reported feeling by those who have had a near-death experience (NDE) is a renewed sense of purpose and meaning. A mundane life may lack these qualities (we think) until a brush with death reminds us why we live, and for whom – ourselves, our loved ones. Additionally, even those who previously said they were not spiritual may find themselves more drawn to the Divine and the mysteries of the Universe following a NDE.
Never Judge A Book By Its Cover
Many people like the idea of being psychic, but sadly do not have the gift. I know this because I have a friend who is a great astrologer, but she herself is not psychic. I know this because she has confided in me. She does not have any psychic ability; she does readings by looking up people’s birthday information in astrology books. She doesn’t pick up on other people’s emotions when around them. This was confirmed when she was invited to join me and a friend, who had just recently lost her mother and was deeply saddened, she couldn’t feel what this women was going through and didn’t pick up on her feelings.
But my astrologer friend does look like someone who could be psychic. Is there a psychic look? Do psychics look differently than people who don’t have the psychic gift? I don’t think so. I have learned over the years that you can never tell who is psychic, or who is not. I think we tend to judge people based on their appearances way to much.