attitude
Letting Go Of Those Old Branches
As winter arrives, it is always a time of reflection for me. Winter storms are so bittersweet. They are beautiful, but they also can be very destructive. In a winter storm last year, I have observed some of the strongest, oldest trees losing their branches. Those large branches were the first to snap. They looked so strong and have weathered so many storms, yet they could not withstand the wind.
As I analyzed the results of that winter storm, the realization came to me that the smaller, more supple branches had the ability to bend with the strong winds. The large, majestic branches, however, had become rigid over the years and broke easily in the powerful, icy wind.
The same principle could apply in our lives. How well we handle a challenging situation will depend on our ability to remain flexible and adapt. A very strong, experienced person may appear on the surface to be able to move mountains and handle most situations with ease. But if that same person is unwilling to listen, refuses to compromise with others and cannot remain open-minded, they will most likely be doing a lot of ‘snapping’ when facing adversity.
If we can ‘bend’ to at least agree to disagree with others, and keep a more flexible, adaptive attitude in difficult times, it makes life a lot easier to maintain harmony with the world. If tunnel vision is how we choose to see life, it is impossible to see that others may also be right sometimes, or have a better solution. When we become rigid, stiff, closed and inflexible, it becomes harder to see the bigger picture and to have a more peaceful approach to life.
When we are rigid and think our way is the only way, it is also hard to make and keep lasting relationships. In a group situation there are always people that see the opposite side any situation for a problem. Sometime these people may play devil’s advocate. They listen to each point of view to arrive at a compromise.
Choosing Peace Over Conflict
There will always be moments in life when we have to choose between peace or conflict. This was the case for me just yesterday.
About half an hour prior to the incident, I had taken my dogs for a walk in the countryside surrounding my home. Adjacent to the pathway we walked, there were a few men working in the field. I didn’t actually see them, but their car was parked up close by, and what I assumed was their lunch had been perched in a plastic bag in one of the olive trees.
Knowing that the curiosity of my dogs would be stirred by that bag of food, I kept a beady eye on them, particularly the two that were off-leash. Thankfully, the only thing my youngest dog appeared to be interested in was someone else’s medium-sized dog that was also in the vicinity of the workman’s feast. I’d assumed that this dog was with the workers, but on taking the same route this morning, I realized that he belongs to the actual farm there.
So, yesterday, after the walk, I was outside my house, when the worker’s car pulled up to my fence. Two young men got out and one of them asked, “Why did you allow your dogs to steal the old man’s bocadillo (a sandwich made with Spanish bread)?”
“They didn’t steal it?” I replied.
“Oh, but they did,” he said. “My friend here saw it happen!”
I took a moment and thought about how to handle this situation in the most peaceful and spiritually aware manner. It wasn’t such a big deal, but obviously the old man felt that he had been robbed.
Aligning Yourself With Abundance
We tend to focus a lot of mental and emotional energy on abundance and prosperity. Which is a good thing. As humans we are meant to live an abundant life. However, I have talked to many clients that have been focusing their attention on abundance, but say that they only experience lack.
From a metaphysical and spiritual perspective there are several reasons why this may occur. The first is that people are often unclear about what they want. Second, it is common for individuals to invest their energies on limited mindsets about abundance, or a lack of trust. The third primary reason why people don’t achieve what they say they want, is that they focus on what is absent, rather than on what is present in their lives.
The first challenge, that many of us must overcome to experience true abundance, is to be clear about what we really want. Too often people seeking abundance simply think that a certain amount of money in their lives will fix their problems. However, abundance is often less about money, and more about a personal sense of security and stability.
True abundance is not the amount of money one has in the bank. Abundance is about having enough time and freedom to do what we want to do in our lives. True abundance is the freedom to achieve personal goals and enough energy to create happy and fulfilling relationships. And yes, money too. Money is certainly one factor to the equation. However, many things that people say that they want can be achieved without having access to a limitless amount of money.
Spiritual Healing
Healing from a serious or chronic illness may happen under different circumstances, and it some cases it can appear fully spontaneous. Behind every healing option there is a complex process which we never fully understand.
Our mindset is however an important player in how things unfold. But it is more than just having a positive attitude—it has many facets. And since the term ‘mind’ is a more modern concept, I prefer to refer to ‘spirit,’ which encompasses the mind in all its complex depth, along with emotions and sensations.
Spiritual healing can be defined in many ways, through many traditions. It seems to me useful to talk about the effect on the person, and understand it from that point of view. An experience of any kind may be a spiritual healing process, whenever a breakthrough takes place, or a release of inner pain occurs to make room for acceptance.
This might not be a painless process, otherwise it would happen much more easily, but it is a necessary step, because it allows us to abandon a repeating loop focused on pain. As an example, I can think of someone in a dysfunctional marriage, into which much work has been invested, including some counseling or therapy, but the only thing still keeping it together is the desire to ‘not fail.’
Active Listening – A Message From My Guides
Your ears are working all day long. They hear thousands and thousands of sounds. Most sounds are routine, so many are dismissed as the normal cacophony of a busy life.
Without particularly focusing, you can easily differentiate between outdoor construction work, the squeal of tires on pavement, and the subtle dripping of a faucet indoors. You can also be awakened by an unusual sound while you are sound asleep.
With all this hearing going on 24/7, how often do you really make time to truly listen? Not just to miscellaneous, irrelevant sounds, or humdrum activity, but to the voices of loved ones and your own inner voice?
The key here is time. Everyone is so busy these days, that we are often thinking of something in the past, or planning hours, days or weeks in advance. Meanwhile, golden opportunities to learn more about each other can easily slip by.
People often hide their fears behind words of bravado or arrogance. When strangled by ego, they can overcompensate by sounding obnoxious or condescending. When they are feeling small or insignificant, people can try too hard to impress. Each of these attitudes can be annoying to the listener.
Free Yourself With The Power Of Forgiveness
How can we possibly reconcile the feelings of anger and betrayal with a need to forgive? Are we compromising our integrity in doing so?
Forgiveness can seem like an impossibility… but it doesn’t have to be. It’s really one of the few things in life that really matters, whether it means forgiving ourselves, or someone else. It is said that allowing someone to continuously upset you, is to allow them to ‘live rent-free inside your mind.’
Others hurt us all the time. Holding on to this hurt for long periods of time can damage us physically and psychologically. And then there are those ‘little things’… like someone cutting you off in traffic, or forgetting an important date.
One thing forgiveness does not do, is make us forget the source of the pain. What it does is allow a reconciliation with what happened, and allows us to move on in a productive way. When you were a child, perhaps you got hurt with a hot stove burner or electrical outlet. You didn’t (hopefully) spend the rest of your life being angry at stoves or electrical outlets! This is basically how forgiveness also works. We can acknowledge that someone or something caused us to hurt, and be aware of how that happened, but still move past it and get on with our lives.
Holding on to anger and bitterness will color all your relationships, until you learn to forgive and let go. If, for example, you ended a toxic relationship and decided to start dating again, you might not be able to fully trust, because of the possibility of reliving that pain. A truly intimate relationship will never happen without forgiveness.
How To Block The Energy Of Negative People
It seems that negativity and negative people are becoming more prevalent these days. Just a decade ago, I can remember people being afraid to be “publicly negative.” No one wanted to be seen as being negative, or as someone that brought others down.
I find myself avoiding large groups and big events, because I just don’t want negativity and lower vibrations impacting my happy life. But I do go to activities and fun events for the sake of my 3-year-old child, and often some of the moms, women who are forming impressionable minds, can’t seem to help themselves, but go to the negative! A few weeks ago, for example, I complimented a mom on her daughter’s excellent vocabulary and she told me no one had ever said anything like that to her before. She said people just tear each other down nowadays. How sad.
I am currently five months pregnant. I keep having other moms asking me how I am feeling, which is very nice. However, when I say I feel great, they seem surprised, even sometimes put off. They ask, “You don’t have any unpleasant symptoms?” Well, yes. Of course, I do. I’m pregnant! But whatever the symptom is, mild though it may be, it is still a gift to me – a pleasant reminder that I am so incredibly lucky. Even when I got morning sickness, I remember thinking during it, it’s okay, it’s okay, it will be over soon. You’re lucky. This means you’re pregnant!
Actually, I am up writing this blog at 3:00am, because I have pregnancy insomnia. Right now, I am up, because I am pregnant. It’s okay. I’ll sleep properly again in another five years, when both of my kids are older. Meanwhile, I’m getting a lot done that I can’t do during the day.