Active Listening – A Message From My Guides

Your ears are working all day long. They hear thousands and thousands of sounds. Most sounds are routine, so many are dismissed as the normal cacophony of a busy life.

Without particularly focusing, you can easily differentiate between outdoor construction work, the squeal of tires on pavement, and the subtle dripping of a faucet indoors. You can also be awakened by an unusual sound while you are sound asleep.

With all this hearing going on 24/7, how often do you really make time to truly listen? Not just to miscellaneous, irrelevant sounds, or humdrum activity, but to the voices of loved ones and your own inner voice?

The key here is time. Everyone is so busy these days, that we are often thinking of something in the past, or planning hours, days or weeks in advance. Meanwhile, golden opportunities to learn more about each other can easily slip by.

People often hide their fears behind words of bravado or arrogance. When strangled by ego, they can overcompensate by sounding obnoxious or condescending. When they are feeling small or insignificant, people can try too hard to impress. Each of these attitudes can be annoying to the listener.

Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self ~ Dean Jackson

Sometimes a listener can dismiss the speaker’s comments altogether. Sometimes the listener overreacts and starts yet another argument. Sometimes, people get into conversation loops that start and finish the same way every time with no resolution. No-one is listening. Everyone is racing ahead to interject and get their own points across. Nothing gets solved and the same issues continue to brew and rise to the surface yet again in the future.

Make a commitment to yourself that you will choose to listen actively, in order to really hear what someone is saying. Rather than jump in with your own thoughts and opinions right away, ask questions to fully understand what the speaker means. The undercurrent or hidden meaning behind the words spoken can sometimes be the polar opposite to what has just been said.

When using social media, apply the same principles. Before reacting off-the-cuff to a seemingly curt email or text message, take the time to breathe and re-read the information. Ask a question if you are unsure of the writer’s voice, tone or meaning.

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply ~ Stephen R. Covey

Seeing words on a screen without obviously pleasant descriptors can give the wrong impression sometimes, so think carefully when you choose the voice with which you create your own messages, especially regarding sensitive issues. If someone misunderstands your written tone, think before reacting. Take the time to apologize or clarify if you have been unclear. If possible, speak in person so your tone can be heard.

The same goes for your own inner voice. Pay attention to the thoughts, ideas, concerns or warnings that you are hearing. Do not dismiss them because you are too busy to focus. Allocate time for quiet meditation, even if it is only a few minutes per day. Give yourself a chance to cultivate a creative idea or get out in front of an ominous feeling. Listen carefully. Listen actively. Respond graciously.