authenticity
Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?
A client recently shared with me how being honest in her work environment did not serve her best interest in the end. Being completely honest caused her to not receive her annual salary increase. She feels that had she used a lie about being ill, or even having a flat tire, as a reason for not making it to work on time, as opposed to going back to sleep after the alarm went off, she would not have had her employment record blemished. Despite meeting targets and good customer feedback during the previous twelve months, being honest had actually gone against her in this instance.
Our conversation reminded me of a similar incident I experienced myself many years ago.
My father and I had entered into business with partners on the island of Tenerife, in the Canary Islands. Whilst my father was winding up the sale of the family home, after his divorce from my mother, I’d gone ahead and rented a small apartment close to the business, whilst learning the ins and outs from the family we were going into business with.
There was a lot of building going on, in and around that area. My apartment was owned by the construction company, whose office was on the ground floor of my apartment building. On a regular basis I passed the workmen, as I entered and left the building. Despite all the construction activity, my apartment was private, secure, and surrounded by a balcony with blinds, which reached halfway down the window. Nobody from below could actually see inside.
Healthy Boundaries – The Best New Year’s Resolution!
The best New Year’s resolution many of us can work on in 2019 is to create healthy boundaries with the people in our lives. These boundaries don’t have to be all about just creating space or distance between you and a few toxic people and things in your life. It can also include keeping yourself from being exposed to negativity on social media, or avoiding those foods you are intolerant to. In 2019 I recommend we all take a moment to think about the things we do, say, consume, and the people we spend our time with. Whatever it may be that brings us down, or steals our energy, needs to go. And no more people-pleasing.
Dr Seuss says, “Those who matter don’t mind, and, those who mind, don’t matter.” Well, it’s true. Those people who have a problem with you, because your belief system is different from theirs, for example, are absolutely out of line! I have said it once and I will say it again: the world will be a very boring place if we all had the same ideas and way of thinking. Diversity is what keeps our world going. So it’s okay to be different. I am big on keeping it real and being authentic. I refuse to be a conformist.
Spiritual Power And Spiritual Practice
We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. This is important to remember when considering the nature of spiritual things. The root word for spirit is ‘breath.’ This means that every person that is breathing is equally spiritual.
Too often people think that there is a hierarchical system within spirituality; that some people are ‘more spiritual’ than others. This is simply not true. There may be individuals that have a more intentional spiritual practice, with more understanding, knowledge, or wisdom. However, this does not make them ‘more spiritual.’
The nature and purpose of spiritual practice is also something that can be misunderstood. Whether it be prayer, meditation, invocations, or other sacraments, these practices are not just to get what we want. It can be a byproduct of authentic spiritual seeking and practice, but in nearly every tradition, true spiritual power is often summed up with three principles: Love, Joy, and Peace.
All spiritual practices are intended to lead us to tap into these three qualities. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, Love, Joy, and Peace are the first of many “fruits of the spirit.” Authentic spiritual practice is meant to lead us to the experience of these three things.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
I believe that my own tendency to compare myself with others began at a young age, when my mother would constantly compare me to my cousins. For example, she would talk affectionately about their lovely physical attributes, like their thick hair, high cheekbones or deep-set eyes. Their personalities were louder and more assertive than mine too.
I was an overweight kid, and the more withdrawn I became, the more I would eat. I felt that my overweight was seen by others as greed, but I now believe I was layering deep insecure feelings.
I now know too that I was not meant to be like my cousins. In hindsight, I thank my mother for the life lessons. Perhaps she helped me in learning about insecurity and experiencing an inferiority complex. Today, I have a much deeper understanding of how my clients feel, when they don’t feel good enough. Or, as is often the case, when they are concerned about their children not feeling good enough for whatever reason. This is not always due to faulty parenting. Parents often suffer terribly when they see their kids, whatever their ages, suffer from lack of self-esteem. They see their kids as having every reason to be super-confident, yet witness them withdrawn and unhappy.
The True Purpose Of Life
It is often said that the purpose of our existence is love. This is in part true, we are constantly evolving into a greater understanding of love. But this is really only half of the answer. The purpose of life is also the experience. The point of it all is to have interactions.
Yes, it is true that each of us has incarnated with a specific purpose for being here. Ultimately the purpose of life is to recognize our most authentic expression of what it means to be us, and then cultivate the freedom to express that authentic self. Love most certainly facilitates this process, but you could say a better explanation of the meaning of life is the experience itself.
We all incarnated on this planet from perfect love, and will return to perfect love. Within the realm of spirit we are all one. In fact, we are all one at this very moment. However, in the time-space paradigm, it is easy to lose touch with this Oneness of Spirit.
Each soul living on this planet has an innate desire to cultivate unique creative expression. Whether that creative expression is writing, musical expressions, serving others, cultivating human ties, and so on. Most of us incarnated with the specific intent to accomplish multiple ‘purposes.’ And so we go through life having a multitude of different kinds of experiences. Continue reading
When Your Child Is Your Spiritual Coach
Coming from a family who never communicated their personal feelings, I learned a lot about the importance of communication between age groups in my early teens, when I was sent to live with a Dutch family with three children for several months.
I always admired their closeness, but it wasn’t until I actually moved in with them, that I realized just how far their caring and sharing went towards feeling part of such a close knit family. They prayed together too, and included me, always asking for healing for my mother who was having treatment at the time for her ‘nervous condition.’
In later years, as a recovering alcoholic in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), I would often hear the expression, “A family that prays together, stays together.” I am sure this family has stayed close all these years, even though we have lost touch. Continue reading
Never Judge A Facebook By Its Cover
People often present a very different image of their life on Facebook, than they do in person. I have seen many times how the people in my own social circle would talk to me about what is really going on in their life, while what they present on their social media accounts is something very, very different.
I also encounter this phenomenon when I do psychic readings. A distraught client might say something like, “My ex called me up and told me how miserable he is in his new relationship, but then his girlfriend posted pictures of them having such a good time! So, what am I supposed to believe?” Continue reading