life design
The Many Deaths And Rebirths In Your Lifetime
You have already died many deaths. Many versions of you will ‘die’ in this lifetime. And, many versions of you will be reborn.
Of course, you have also passed through the veil between this life and the next for many past lives. But in this case, I am referring to ‘deaths’ we suffer in this lifetime.
We can identify these dramatic changes, transitions, shifts, or ‘deaths’ in our astrological chart. Your Saturn Return, for example, occurs around the time of our 30th birthday. Our Saturn Return forces us to take an honest look at everything we may have been avoiding until now. It forces us to make much needed changes and improvements. It is the ending of our youth and the birth of our new adult self.
We do not remain the same person throughout our lifetime. Our goals, ideas, and life lessons all serve their purpose until they are phased out to let in new information, new ideas, and new opportunities for growth. If we do this right, life keeps changing us. We continue to grow and expand.
For this purpose, it is wise to interact with people who have different beliefs, practice other religions, and have other political affiliations compared to our own. And more importantly, to really listen to them. We must allow all the information in and trust our intuition to let our beliefs and understanding of life continuously evolve.
Our life experiences constantly challenge and change our ideas, goals, and views. We are constantly shedding our old skin. Just as our body changes every day we are alive, so does our soul. We take in every experience, whether we know it or not. It’s like adding ingredients to a recipe.
Embrace these deaths and births along your life path. They are needed for your soul growth and spiritual expansion. I’ve witnessed over the years some people really fighting change and resisting growth…and it always makes them miserable. Fluidity and acceptance are spiritually essential. Simplicity will bring you inner peace.
Healing From A Relationship Breakup
All breakups are painful. There really is no quick fix to heal a broken heart. But there are some things one can do to gradually move on and begin a new journey without your ex-partner.
The first thing to do is to accept the reality of the situation. It is not going to do any good to dwell on the past or try to work things out at this point. In this early stage of grieving, it is usually not a good idea to speak to your ex at all. It will simply prolong the pain.
At times you might be tempted to reach out to your ex, but listen to what your heart and soul is telling you. Trust your gut. It will never steer you wrong.
You may also want to avoid reminders of your ex and your relationship. No need to put any more stress or pressure on yourself than you have to. It is best to accept what is and move on.
The most important thing now is to put yourself first and be true to you. Now is the time to come to grips with your feelings. Don’t hold back if you want to cry and let it out.
We are always trying to look for answers as to why something happened. Many times, we blame ourselves, thinking that things may have been different if we would have done more. We put ourselves through so much unnecessary guilt sometimes. It is unfair and pointless to do that to ourselves and not the best path to healing. Seek forgiveness for your ex and yourself.
A healthy lifestyle is important in times of grief. Exercise is especially beneficial. It makes you feel more in control of yourself and increases ‘feel good’ hormones like dopamine that will reduce depression.
Enlightenment Is Not An Exclusive Privilege
One of my Yoga students once asked me if I consider myself spiritually enlightened. I told him that I struggled with that idea, because it implied someone is ‘done’ with their spiritual mission.
It would mean I had accomplished the ultimate spiritual goal and therefore would have no need to continue my spiritual growth and work. It also seems arrogant to say that somehow, some people are ‘more enlightened’ or spiritually more evolved and superior to others.
I once heard a celebrity state in an interview that she knew she was “born to greatness.” I cannot comprehend such blatant entitlement and self-importance…to imagine that anyone was born more for ‘more greatness’ than another! We are all born for greatness in our own way, and none of us are greater than any other.
Therefore, I believe we are all enlightened. Some of us just don’t know it yet.
Spiritual growth or expansion is an eternal process. It is a journey, not a destination. There is no ‘arrival’ and no end. We will always continue to grow more, love more, heal more and learn more.
With that said, I have always felt Earth is a planet for new souls. But even old souls can still learn. There is no special ‘status’ in being a new or old soul. It is simply a matter of how much one has experienced as an individual energy entity.
I have heard over the years clients and students complain they have such a hard time being around people who are “not as enlightened as they are.” I find this arrogant, not spiritual. I believe that all paths lead to God. Just because someone isn’t on the same path doesn’t mean they aren’t headed towards God. Just the thought that we believe we are more enlightened or superior or working harder, shows we have a lot more learning to do.
Stay True To Your Own Best Karma
You may have heard of someone ‘getting their karma’ for something bad they have done, or of wishing bad karma on another for their transgressions. Most people use the word ‘karma’ in this negative sense, usually believing that a person that hurt them will be on the receiving end of the same hurt (or worse) because of their deeds.
But wishing negative karma on another is a dangerous practice. What we think, say and do tend to come back to us, instead of another person. So, when you say something like, “Oh, I can’t wait until they get their karma and someone breaks their heart like they broke mine,” you have in fact declared it for yourself (again).
Karma happens when it happens. Never, ever wish it on another in a negative manner. Your thoughts, words and actions determine what you attract to yourself.
Karma can instead be invoked in an amazingly positive way. Wish everyone good things, positive actions, and uplifting results in their life – even those who wronged you.
Congratulate that person who got the promotion that you wanted. Offer the person who stole from you a blessing. Forgive the person who broke your heart and wish them only happiness in their future life.
This will open the flood gates of good reactions to your actions. There is a cause and effect for everything, so the moment you choose to you’re your thoughts, words and actions all positive and loving, that is what you will attract in return.
Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father
My father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.
But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.
Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.
Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.
I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.
One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!
By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.
I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.
How To Set Intentions That Manifest
Not long ago, I was going through some storage boxes and out fell a little scrap of paper. Curious, I picked it up, unfolded it and read the words I had written over a year earlier.
Now, I do not remember writing this little note, or saving it for that matter. But what I found grabbed my attention and pulled me immediately into the present moment.
It was a wish list. I had written things like, “do fulfilling work that feeds my soul,” and “a home with by the ocean, mountains and forest.” As I read through the items on this list, I realized that all of them had meanwhile become a reality in my life. I was amazed, and filled with gratitude!
Like most people, I also too often forget to take stock and honor moments of gratitude for the many blessings in my life.
While this wish list shook me back into gratitude, it also got me thinking about something else. The power of intention.
I always say that life is like driving – you need to look where you want your car to go. With the general busy-ness of life getting in the way, it can be challenging to stay focused on where we want to be versus where we are now.
I have found the following three strategies help to bring me back into full presence and awareness in the current moment, as well as setting intentions like a ‘map’ of where I want to be headed.
Envision The Broad Strokes
It is vital to understand that universal energies seek to help us manifest that which is our highest and best good. With this concept as our framework, we allow these energies to work within our lives in ways we may never have expected.
A Hopeful Spring Of New Beginnings
Spring is around the corner here in the Northern Hemisphere. Not only is the snow melting gradually, but Covid-19 is also slowly subsiding. Restaurants, gyms and theatres have finally reopened at full capacity, and it won’t be long now before mask mandates are at least partially lifted.
After two years of being ultra-cautious in one of the hardest hit pandemic hot-spots in Canada, this Spring will truly feel like a re-awakening into a brand new world for me!
It’s impossible not to feel a sense of joy and gratitude every year, as the days get longer and the weather loses its frigid edge, but this year’s season of reawakening seems especially blessed and hopeful.
However, against the backdrop of the horrors of war, adversity, and suffering experienced by people in other parts of the world, one must be particularly grateful. We are privileged to live in a place where we are safe, healthy, and comfortable.
Instead of complaining about trivial things, we must look around and count our blessings in our cozy corner of the world. We should choose to be happy for what we have, and appreciate the good things in our lives, no matter how small or simple they may seem.
Now is also an opportune time to regroup and reset our personal priorities, goals, and aspirations. For the first time in a long time we can now confidently begin to visualize our ideal future and take ambitious steps in the right direction. The Universe can only put it all together for us, once we set a clear intention for it.
It’s important to remember that visions boards, affirmations, prayer or visualizing are powerful tools in the manifesting process, but it takes a little more than to do the trick. We must also take some concrete steps and make some practical inroads, so that the Universe can conspire on our behalf to facilitate our success. Even the smallest of efforts will set things in motion.