goals
When Your Man Is Not Ready To Commit
I often hear how wonderful the guy is that she is dating… if only he would commit to taking their relationship to the next level!
If a woman is not satisfied with the way things are going and what she is getting from the relationship, should she continue to wait for him?
By patiently waiting for him against your better judgment, he only learns that he can get away with his lack of commitment, especially if he feels comfortable with what he is getting from the relationship. This way a pattern is formed.
So, how do you avoid wasting some of the best years of your life waiting on a guy that is never going to commit?
Well, right from the start you tell him what your looking for and what your expectations are. But handle it carefully, after all you don’t want to scare him away before things even get off the ground!
But do let him know how you feel about dating, long-term relationships, commitment, marriage, children, and whatever else may be important to you.
This will inform him, so that you have a better shot at being on the same page. If he starts to make excuses, or says that he is not interested in a long-term commitment, at least not right now, then accept his words as the truth.
If you are looking for long-term, committed relationship, then spend time with a guys who shares the same values and expectations. Watch his actions – they do speak louder than words!
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them.
Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself.
Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance.
Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
Yes, Fly Away, But Fly Towards Your Dreams!
There are many dreams in our hearts, in our heads, in our spirit that comes to us during our night dreams, during our day hopes. The universe gives us the dreams of our heart, so we will continue to strive toward these dreams.
Just when we think it is time to give up, spirit jumps in with a sign, a promise, a word, a touch of given hope, to keep the dream alive in our heart.
Time comes, time goes, like the ebb and tide of the ocean, that we wonder if we are ever going to reach the shore. Then suddenly, there is the land, we can see the shore line the horizon, the dream’s reality right there in our face ready to come to us with happiness.
Where there is hope, there is faith. Where there is faith, there is love. We, are not meant to be alone. We are meant to have loves, to have partners, to have friends, people around us. These are dreams given to us by spirit so that someday our prince or princess will come without the frogs.
There are times we all want to fly away. There are times, especially as we start getting older, looking at our past, thinking of all the dreams we had, things we wanted to do, that somehow life just passed us by. This is why many people these days are making “bucket lists“.
Interesting at the weird things we want to do when we are mid-50s which in our youth we were too afraid, or too insecure to do. Think about our youth, we were pretty naive, yet somehow all of us today, this very day, has to find a balance between our wisdom of reality, and the innocence of youth where all dreams are possible.
Finding More Balance In A Busy World
Do you ever feel the busier you become, the harder it is to remain focused and stay in control of everything? Then you are not, I promise you, alone! Sometimes life can seem like you are always juggling and struggling, but not always winning as a result.
As a professional psychic, I have always been of the opinion that if we want something to manifest in the material world, we have to get the inside of ourselves, as well as our lifestyles, balanced and more harmonious first. Otherwise, we would simply attract more chaos.
By putting ourselves in a healthy, positive, and balanced place, we not only draw more abundance to ourselves, but we also achieve a less stressful lifestyle as a result.
This is not just spiritual philosophy; it’s energetic truth. The Universe is always responding to the vibration we emit. When we’re frantic, overextended, or emotionally scattered, we become magnets for more of the same.
But when we take steps to ground ourselves, reconnect with our inner guidance, and honor our natural rhythms, something beautiful happens: the energy around us begins to shift.
This shift isn’t just internal because others begin to notice it too. Opportunities feel more aligned, relationships grow more authentic, and daily life feels less like a struggle and more like a sacred flow. In essence, when we become energetically clear, we create space for the Universe to meet us halfway. That’s where true transformation begins. Continue reading
Reflections On Time…And The Timeless
During my morning walk with the dogs, I found myself nostalgically reflecting on a time in my life when “there was a place for everything, and everything in its place.”
As comforting as that kind of order once felt, I’ve shifted considerably in how I relate to time constraints in recent years.
Over the years, I’ve gathered a menagerie of many rescue dogs and cats who’ve taught me to prioritize what truly needs my attention and focus, and to stop “sweating the small stuff.”
A neighbor also recently reminded me, “Hay tiempo para todo.” There is time for everything.
The general approach to life in the Spanish town where I live is (sometimes annoyingly so!) very easygoing, with a shared belief that what doesn’t get done today will simply get done tomorrow.
You often hear the locals say, “Mañana,” with a smile, which seldom means “tomorrow.” It means, “Tomorrow is another day, so don’t stress, don’t rush, it’ll all get sorted in time.”
I’ve reflected on this often, and the quality of life enjoyed by most Spaniards is a testament to the fact that perhaps they’re doing something right? It is especially evident in family life still being a priority for people living here.
In our little town of around 8,000 souls, people still pause to smile and greet one another. I’m lucky to be able to converse with the locals in their own language, but I’ve also seen how warmly they respond to foreigners, especially those who are still finding their way with Spanish. There’s no judgment, just appreciation for the effort.
The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’
I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.
He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.
After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.
The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?
Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?
Be The Light That Darkness Cannot Touch
The nightmare continues every day. The very thing we fear the most has come to look us right in the face, staring in our eyes. This little imp taps us on the shoulder, reminding us of all the stupid things we did, all the hurtful things, how we messed up, time after time.
We messed up time again, no one agrees with us, we are reminded that “they” are so much smarter, did things exactly right every time.
We are at a turning point. We can give up, turn, run for the hills to hide, but still there is the demon of fear lingering around the deep recesses of our mind.
Surely this little devil of fear tells us we can see how we don’t deserve to reach our dreams, or accomplish our goals.
Stand back! Truly look at everything from all sides. Become like an eagle, or an owl, or a hawk, with eyes that see far beyond the surface where the heart lies.
Try to be kind and loving. Put your mind in the thoughts of being kind, being positive, no matter how much doing so lays open our heart for others to stomp on, even though many others will think you have lost your mind.
When we try with all our hearts to do something toward our dream, with love, with pure knowledge, we are listening to spirit. Then we gain strength, we gain courage, we pass over the top of the highest mountain to reach the other side. Let this outlook enlighten your heart, mind and soul toward a new attitude, for a new beginning.