personal achievement
The Misguided Fear Of ‘Missing Out’
FOMO. The “fear of missing out.” The term is typically used when young people feel envious or sad because they haven’t been invited or can’t go to an event or outing that their friends are attending. For others it is a matter of feeling driven to attend absolutely everything, including the opening of an envelope.
This mindset is spiritually misguided. Firstly, if you think carefully about what you are worried about missing out on, you usually find that you are not missing out on that much after all.
Secondly, there are much more valuable things to invest your time and energy in, especially for a young person. For example, if we don’t invest in improving our well-being in body, mind and spirit early in life, we will miss out on many blessings of joy, fulfilment and abundance later in life.
Instead of trying to attend every event or doing everything and the kitchen sink to keep up with the Joneses, it makes much more sense to create a foundation of joy, inner peace and abundance for ourselves. It is a wellspring that will never run dry. This is what one should really be ‘afraid’ of missing out on.
Surround Yourself With Divine Love
Love is a concept I encounter every day in my work, and it is indeed a multifaceted thing. In its purest form, it manifests itself as a mother’s love for her child, a partner’s love for his spouse, or a sibling’s love for a brother or sister.
But love also takes more subtle forms. It can be reflected in a teacher’s love for expanding young minds, a researcher’s desire to advance humanity, or an engineer’s fine attention to detail.
There are also negative, toxic forms of ‘love.’ Too much love, though usually well-intentioned, can be harmful. The hovering parent, the controlling spouse, the overprotective friend can stifle true growth, trust, and creativity.
Sometimes conditional love is traded like a commodity or used as a weapon. It can be withheld when behavior is perceived as lacking or used as a reward for conforming to the status quo.
Fake love is also used as a facade or camouflage. The world is full of negative energy and hidden agendas disguised as projects of love that are supposed to be “for the greater good.”
Sometimes love turns into distractions, such as self-centered schemes that are really based on greed. Some people who profess love in truth worship false praise, accolades, and self-enrichment.
Spirit invites us to abandon the charade of false love. Instead, we should strive to be kind, compassionate, and generous without expecting anything in return. We must give others the benefit of the doubt without judging their worth or intent. Each day we should step forward and ask, “How can I help?” instead of making negative assumptions. Spiritual people lead by example. We must show the world the divine beings we are inside.
Rebuild Your Trust In A Benevolent Universe
Have you ever watched a child learn to ride a bicycle? There is a certain excitement associated with this rite of passage as youngsters wholeheartedly embrace the possibility of being able to soon ride down the street without help.
The first time they get on a bike, they have no prior knowledge or experience to compare it to. Nevertheless, it is usually easy for most children to accept that they will be able to accomplish this task.
Most kids, in their innocence, focus on the joy, freedom and fulfillment of riding a bike rather than worrying about not being able to do it, let alone falling and getting hurt. They also don’t think in terms of good or bad ‘luck’ determining their ultimate success, nor do they imagine that riding a bike is a special gift, talent or privilege reserved only for certain people.
Perhaps this self-belief stems in part from an encouraging parent who has confidently assured the young person that they will indeed be able to achieve this skill. Perhaps the child has seen other children learn to do it and therefore trusts that they can do it, too.
The thing about children is not so much that they blindly or foolishly trust, but simply that, unlike most adults, they have not yet learned to distrust. Being able to trust as an adult is therefore not so much a matter of learning to trust, but of regaining the ability to trust that we once had, until we lost some or all of it through trauma, disappointment, betrayal, or hardship.
The Magical Possibilities Of 6,000 Thoughts
According to a 2020 study at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, we have more than 6,000 thoughts a day. From a spiritual perspective, this is fascinating, but also potentially troublesome.
Those of us who are metaphysically aware know that our thoughts create our reality. Not only do our positive or negative thoughts determine what will manifest in our lives, but also how we choose to feel and act based on those 6,000 daily thoughts!
In addition, we tend to have lingering thoughts and nagging worries that we obsess over throughout the day. The more we repeat those same toxic thoughts, the more they gain energetic momentum and manifesting power. Thoughts are energy vibrations, and thoughts become things.
We all have the innate spiritual freedom to act of our own free will. Every thought we have comes with choices and options. It can range from a simple decision to stop thinking a particular negative thought…to making a life-changing decision.
Unfortunately, most people make the same choices over and over again. They stick with what is safe, comfortable, familiar, or predictable, while ignoring the other options that may be open to them. This is often how we get stuck in comfort zones, or struggle to manifest the things we dream about.
In order to manifest new things and invite change into our lives, we must carefully examine our thought patterns and habits. If we choose the same responses and actions to the same thoughts every day, we cannot expect to move forward, or create a new reality. Often the problem is not the thoughts we think, but how we choose to feel and act in response to those thoughts.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Embracing Growth Challenges In Your Relationship
At some point in a romantic relationship, we all face challenges that test our connection with our partner or spouse. People disagree, make mistakes, and experience conflict. It’s human nature.
However, it is important to realize that most problems in a developing relationship are often not inherently negative or catastrophic. Instead, they present valuable opportunities for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery.
If you believe that your happiness in a relationship depends on finding the perfect partner, it’s time for a new perspective. The key to a happy relationship is to remove personal barriers one at a time. By doing so, you can fully immerse yourself in love and become a magnet for attracting the right partner into your life.
Consider the following five common issues that many new couples face and how you can learn from them to foster a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your significant other.
The Happiness Myth
Some people go into a new relationship expecting their partner to bring them the complete state of happiness, joy, and fulfillment they have always sought. But others cannot make us happy, joyful, or fulfilled because achieving this is always an inside job. It starts with us.
Transform Your Life One Step At A Time
Knowing when to make that much needed change in your life can be daunting and very confusing. We often feel this need for change when we already have a lot going on. We tend to also overthink things and then feel overwhelmed, or even paralyzed with anxiety or fear.
Once you get into this kind of ‘stuck’ pattern, nothing seems to get done or resolved. No choices or decisions are made. In turn, this causes even more unhappiness, distress, and turmoil in your life. We all have a tendency to get in our own way.
Over the years of working with many clients in this situation, spirit has always made one thing very clear: it always starts with a firm choice or decision. You don’t have to act on it immediately, but it instantly begins to shift your energy in a new direction, or towards a long-term solution.
Indecision, fear, or lack of commitment to a clear vision for the future is first and foremost what keeps many people stuck indefinitely in the stagnant energy loop of an unhappy, unfulfilled life.
Once you have made up your mind about what you intend to achieve or which direction you wish to go, you gain more clarity and become calmer and more grounded to start taking baby steps forward. Then you can begin to resolve the situation one step at a time with spirit’s support.
To get started consider a simple, step-by-step approach to make break the process down into smaller steps that will be less overwhelming and more attainable.