compassion
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself. Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
The Powerful Gift Of Self-Compassion
Empaths do not only have the capability to discern another person’ suffering or pain. We also have the gift of compassion – the ability, as well as the desire, to mitigate someone else’s pain, or alleviate it all together. The two abilities go hand in hand. I have yet to meet an empath who doesn’t express deep compassion and a sincere desire to mitigate pain and suffering. It’s a wonderful gift that the world could use a lot more of right now.
According to Emma Seppälä, a writer for the Harvard Business Review, compassion is a much better business management tactic than toughness. Research shows that the more compassionate response will get you more powerful results as a business manager.
Compassion inspires loyalty according to a study by Jonathan Haidt of New York University. Haidt found that the more employees looked up to their leaders, and were moved by their compassion or kindness (a state he called elevation), the more loyal they became to them. It follows then that responding with anger or frustration has the opposite effect.
The Return Of The Divine Feminine
Sometimes when I do psychic readings, I sense a powerful female presence from Spirit, with wings spread wide, who appears to be lending strength and support to my clients. I recognize her as the Egyptian Goddess Isis, or by her Greek name, Auset.
When Goddess Isis comes into a reading, I know that serious business is at hand and that my client needs to be brave, strong, and to believe in themselves. This brings in the grander subject of the Divine Feminine and how that is showing up during my client’s reading.
The awakening of the feminine is alive and happening all around us, and more widely recognized now than ever before. The rise of the Divine Feminine is showing up in all sorts of arenas, including the corporate workplace. Women, as a whole, are speaking up and no longer have much tolerance for sexual discrimination, lower pay rates, or other outmoded ways of female disempowerment.
However, the interesting thing about the Divine Feminine is that it has a quality of power that is not based on forcefulness. It works more in alignment with the psychic realm and intuition. The Divine Feminine works in harmony with what is, and ways to empower everyone.
Interplanetary Beings
Many people say we are naive to believe that we are the only intelligent species in the Universe. There are now even declassified government documents that relate to UFO’s, the United States Air Force facility known as Area 51, as well as possible extraterrestrial activity. Sightings continue around the world and Hollywood has created many a blockbuster movie in this genre, including War of the Worlds, ET, Star Trek, Star Wars and Avatar, to name just a few.
Those films all deal with one form of interplanetary being: entities travelling through the Universe. The other type of interplanetary being that Hollywood and conspiracy theorists rarely focus on, are those interplanetary beings whose soul contract is to incarnate in this world and further humanity. This is apparently done through their higher functional skills and technology, and their desire to support our soul’s evolution. These interplanetary beings are spiritually more evolved and connected to higher vibration frequencies.
There is a premise that for the rest of us earthbound souls, this Earth reality is our school of education. We are here to fulfill our karma (missteps of our path) or dharma (behaviors synchronized with the Universe) and we return here to evolve. Being earthbound does not mean that we are stuck, just that our future lives are part of our Earth karmic evolution.
Friendship And The Empath
Friends are a wonderful addition to our lives. In some cases they even take the place of family of origin, and become our chosen family. A healthy friendship is a balanced one – give and take, trust, loyalty, acceptance and truth delivered with compassion. Unfortunately, for the empath, friendship can also be treacherous territory, sometimes rife with debbie downers, energy thieves, and psychic vampires.
There are different levels of friendship, from casual social friendships to those we call ‘best friends.’ These best friends are ones with whom we feel safe sharing our deepest secrets, fears, hopes and dreams.
Social media has made it much easier in recent years to connect with friends. With a click of the keyboard a new friend can be made or an old acquaintance rekindled. Social media sites have even recognized the importance of providing the choice of putting people into the appropriate category, such as people from work or close friends. People can be also unfriended, blocked or reported if they are out of bounds, and what is seen publicly by our friends can be limited.
When Spiritual Leaders Let Us Down
It is a hard lesson for some of us to learn that people are just people. We are all capable of good and evil. The difference is the choices that are made on how to handle our emotions and feelings.
When you put faith and trust in an individual and are let down, you start to second guess your decisions and lose some faith in yourself to make wise decisions. It can leave a big hole in your heart and create trust issues in the future.
It seems impossible for a person who has done remarkable good deeds to also choose to do bad things. We must realize that all people have temptations in life. Some people can avoid the albatross on their back, while others simply cannot. It takes a very strong person to walk their talk.
The same applies to ‘highly spiritual’ people, because some healers, gurus and spiritual leaders certainly have had their own cross to bear.
Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists
Why are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.
But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.
An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.
There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.