Self-Help
Moving On After A Relationship Breakup
I sometimes have clients who are struggling to move past a recent break-up, or they want to know if they will get back together with an ex. Focusing on the past, by wanting to go back to a happier time, or a relationship that left us sad when it ended, prevents us from living fully in the present. And this may be blocking your path to true happiness.
On the flip side, sometimes the universe will block your forward movement, because you are not truly ready for it. If you need to go through a period of grieving the past, do so in the healthiest way by looking towards the future.
The next chapter for you will be richer if you focus on the path ahead, be it with your ex in a new realm, or someone new. Just know the energy that you give out when you are stuck in the past does not welcome new relationships into your life – at least not healthy ones.
No one wants to go through the pain, sadness or loneliness of a breakup. In my mid-20’s I ended a very serious five year relationship. He had already bought the ring. I knew we were close to making a bigger commitment, but he had broken my trust many times in the relationship.
So, as I looked towards a future with him, I knew I no longer wanted to continue. The relationship ended abruptly and all contact with him was severed, like a death. As I look back I realize it had to end this way, as the relationship was only going in one direction, and I no longer wanted it, even though I still deeply cared for him.
Pet Loss And Grief From A Psychic Perspective
Losing a pet can be one of the most devastating things we go through. Many people are caught off guard emotionally when their animals transition. And too often the people around us do not understand the strong bond that can be formed between a human and their animal. They might say insensitive things like, “It’s only an animal. Just get another one.” These attitudes are not useful or helpful when grieving any kind of a loss.
The connection with an animal companion can be very deep and profound. They have no pretense. We do not need to wonder what kind of a mood our pet companions are in, and how it will influence our connection to them. Our animal companions join us on this planet to teach us about pure and unconditional love. So, they always emanate this energy to us.
Rarely do our fellow humans express this level of unconditional love. Our animal friends are nearly always available to us when we need them. This is certainly not true of our fellow humans.
When we lose an animal companion, it is important for us to recognize the depth of their connection to us and understand that the pain of grief is real. I can remember my teacher asking, when we approached this topic of grief and loss, “Do you give yourself permission to go through the grief?”
It is also important to support ourselves in whatever way is necessary, when it comes to the loss of a beloved pet. Whether this means joining a support group, going to a therapist that specializes in grief and bereavement, and honoring wherever we are at in the process. There is a plethora of resources online related to pet loss and grief support.
Abundance – A Message From My Guides
Nature thrives with abundance. Notice the number of pine cones, acorns or maple keys that just one tree yields. Turtles and fish produce dozens of eggs to ensure survival. There are millions and millions of examples of abundance in nature.
Abundance is your natural state as well. Even in times of hardship, it is important to understand that there is enough for all. One need not do without in order for someone else to have their basic needs met. In addition, when you thrive, you are not preventing anyone else from achieving their highest goals.
It is incumbent upon each of you to create the world in which you wish to live. Some people are born with the proverbial silver spoon in their mouths and manage to waste everything they have been given. Some people are born into poverty, yet grow to inspire millions and effect change in the world. Regardless of your position on Earth, you can create an environment of abundance.
First, it is important for you to determine what abundance means to you. Is it wealth, health, family, friendships, a committed partnership or perhaps a combination of these and more? Once you have determined what you are dreaming about, it is important to solidify your thoughts by putting them into goals.
Visualize your desired outcome in each of the categories you have identified. Show up to help make things happen by taking small steps to get started. Make a phone call. Do some research. Join a group. Take a class. Help a neighbor. Comfort a friend. Persevere and you will see your environment start to change and improve.
Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?
A client recently shared with me how being honest in her work environment did not serve her best interest in the end. Being completely honest caused her to not receive her annual salary increase. She feels that had she used a lie about being ill, or even having a flat tire, as a reason for not making it to work on time, as opposed to going back to sleep after the alarm went off, she would not have had her employment record blemished. Despite meeting targets and good customer feedback during the previous twelve months, being honest had actually gone against her in this instance.
Our conversation reminded me of a similar incident I experienced myself many years ago.
My father and I had entered into business with partners on the island of Tenerife, in the Canary Islands. Whilst my father was winding up the sale of the family home, after his divorce from my mother, I’d gone ahead and rented a small apartment close to the business, whilst learning the ins and outs from the family we were going into business with.
There was a lot of building going on, in and around that area. My apartment was owned by the construction company, whose office was on the ground floor of my apartment building. On a regular basis I passed the workmen, as I entered and left the building. Despite all the construction activity, my apartment was private, secure, and surrounded by a balcony with blinds, which reached halfway down the window. Nobody from below could actually see inside.
The Healing Power Of The Ocean
In the same way that material things need to be cleansed from time to time, after it has been frequently used or exposed to unwanted environmental influences that can potentially harm it, the human body and the soul also need to be cleansed. It must be done to ensure that the functionality of the mind, body and soul is not affected in adverse ways on the long run.
Ocean healing is one of the best ways to restore our energy balance, both physically and spiritually. It is a very effective and efficient way to cleanse the body, recharge the mind and revitalize the soul.
The healing power of the ocean has been known to us since the dawn of time. Connecting with the ocean heightens our spiritual awareness and inspires a positive change in our life, as the vibrational frequencies of the body, mind, and soul reaches a new high when we are near the water. The currents in the ocean act as a restorative, relaxing, and soothing energy.
There are many creative ways in which you can align yourself with the energy of the ocean. To benefit from this healing power, it is best to spend as much time on or near the ocean as possible. Walk on the beach, go sailing or fishing, or swim in the ocean itself. All these activities bring you closer to the ocean’s healing ability. You can go with someone, or you could go alone, either way, without your conscious mind even realizing it, your body, mind, and soul will find healing by you spending time by the water.
Reclaiming Your Power When A Relationship Ends
One of the main reasons it is so painful to release someone when a relationship ends, is because we have usually invested so much of our time and energy in our connection with that person. In essence, what we are truly missing when we mourn a relationship are parts of our self that we have given away. What we are mourning is the loss of our hopes and dreams, not merely the presence of the person who is no longer in our life.
If this is something you are currently struggling with, I recommend the following ritual designed to help you reclaim your power after a relationship break-up, so that you can restore your inner wholeness and resume your search for true and enduring love.
Supplies
- 3 votive candles: 1 blue, 1 green, 1 yellow
- 1 aqua marine or clear quartz crystal
- rain or sage incense wand
- small mirror
- 3 copper pennies
- 2 tbsp of fresh or dried mint in a small bowl
- 2 tbsp sea salt