abuse
Let Spirit Put Ego In Its Place
I recently had a conversation with a lovely, learned lady who was quite beside herself, because her husband of ten years simply got up and walked out on her… with no explanation whatsoever! She was understandably beside herself with shock and grief. I asked her what kind of relationship she felt they had and she assured me it was a very loving one. I find it almost impossible to believe that a loving, caring partner would all of a sudden just turn his back with all they had shared together and walk out the door, in what appeared to be a cold and callous man.
I then asked her why she felt they had such a good situation between them and she said it was because she loved him so much. She did all she could to keep him happy and satisfied. Well, now we were obviously getting somewhere. On further probing I found this man had been emotionally detached, and certainly oblivious to her needs. How can this, by any definition, be a warm and loving relationship?
Her ego most assuredly suffered a blow, but I do wonder where spirit was in all of this. It would make no sense to me if spirit accepted such a one-sided relationship that was completely devoid of any care or kindness.
My suspicion is that she had convinced herself that this ‘relationship’ had to maintain itself, or she would not be an ‘acceptable’ woman if she did not have a prominent male in her life, even under these trying conditions. There we go, when ego runs the show a myriad of pains can certainly appear on the horizon! Continue reading
Changed Life Is A Mission Accomplished
From time to time a client will ask me how I manage to stay focused when people so frequently seek the same advice over and over. “I don’t know how you put up with me,” they might say.
Well, in all honestly, I don’t feel I am ‘putting up’ with them at all. On the contrary, I feel honored that they feel safe enough to share their concerns with me. If it’s important to them… then it’s important.
What does concern me, however, is that I will be able to offer them some helpful direction and healing during a time which must feel to them like they are in a dark pit of hopelessness, or that the rug has been pulled from under them. They are often in shock over an incident, usually connected to a relationship or a career. But there always is an answer, or a solution. Continue reading
Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. You’re too sensitive. You’re making things up. No one else has ever said that about me. I get along with everyone else except you. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. Everyone says you’re crazy. I’m not cheating, so maybe you are… since you are accusing me. You are too sensitive.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you, when you have confronted them with their own issues or manipulations.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is more common in romantic relationships, but it can occur in landlord and tenant relationships, friendships, employee and employer relationships, and even in relationships with neighbors. It is basically the art of messing with someone’s mind or reality. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right in front of the person, and sometimes it is under the radar and you don’t you know who is gaslighting you, or even if you are actually being gaslighted. Continue reading
Saying Thank You Is Good Karma
Karma can be witnessed by looking back on one’s own life and experiences, or by observing the lives of others and how karma affected them. If you are close with someone you can see their karma unfold if you’re paying attention. Sometimes we don’t see it until much later in life.
A less obvious kind of karma, which I have started to notice over this past year, relates to saying two simple words: thank you. Why is saying thank you so very difficult for some people? I have never understood it, until recently.
One of the most common reasons people don’t say thank you, is because they were never taught to do so as children. Usually we are taught these things early on. But some people are brought up in dysfunctional homes where there is the lack love, attention and connection between parent and child. Continue reading
Trust Your Intuition To Avoid Gaslighting
Gaslighting can be a very destructive component of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of ‘reality twisting’ or ‘crazy making’ that aims to confuse or manipulate the victim. Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship, by making the victim question their reality.
The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, in the workplace and with neighbors. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but mostly it is done under the radar and you don’t always know who is gaslighting you, or even that you are being gaslighted. Continue reading
It’s Called Self-Respect
Energy protection is one of my passions. I take it very seriously. It is vital for our health and mental well-being, so we take the time to do things that will help promote our energy, health, happiness and mental clarity, right? Why then do we still find our energies being drained sometimes? Often times we don’t even realize who, or what is causing this drainage.
My grandma’s fingers are so badly crippled that she cannot text, so she asked me to do her a favor and just send a message to someone on her behalf. I knew in my heart that if I did send this for her, it would be an opportunity for the receiver to throw negativity my way, or rather attempt to. So, I kept putting it off, but she kept begging me. Continue reading
Spiritual Growth In Being Wrongly Blamed
We all tend to be terribly upset when blamed for something we haven’t done, or said. I have also found myself in situations of being blamed unfairly. This made me wonder… if everything happens for a reason, as many spiritual teachings suggest, then what is the lesson here?
My conclusion is that, perhaps, we can help ourselves by acknowledging the lesson in the unpleasant situation, as well as forgiving those who knew no better, in order to let them off the hook. Seeing things in this perspective can shift us to a place where we feel we’ve learned from the experience, and that we don’t need to attract the same pattern again. Continue reading