grace
Extend Yourself The Grace Of Forgiveness
If you are an empath you may believe that forgiveness should be easy for you, or at least easier than it is for others. But I’ve spoken to many empaths and highly sensitive people over the years who all struggle with forgiveness.
One of the main issues with forgiveness for the empath is that we feel another’s emotions intensely, literally as our own. This muddies the waters considerably, because it tends to blur boundaries. Blurred boundaries can often lead to a closed mouth for an empath. Why? Because it is difficult for us, especially in childhood or in romantic relationships, to know where we end and another begins.
It is easy for others to manipulate appropriate boundaries with an empath, or to erase them altogether. All the empath knows is that there is pain, sadness, a sense of frustration, or anger. If you are an empath, then the question becomes are you angry with them, or yourself? Should you have been able to foresee the catastrophe happening, the relationship ending, job imploding, and so on. This leads to self-doubt and the rehashing of incidents that occurred years ago…with no resolution.
In the meantime, every time an empath thinks about the situation, past or present, we feel it…and the cycle continues.
Yes, you are empathic, intuitive, even psychic, but that does not make you immune to being human, neither does it make you all-knowing or all-seeing, especially when it comes to your own life, childhood or relationships.
The Power Of Gratitude In Difficult Times
It is just as important to express gratitude and appreciation when we face the difficult times in our life, as it is when things are going well. In fact, it is even more important to express it during the hard times.
When our lives are on a downswing, the last thing on most people’s hearts or minds is to be thankful, or in a state of appreciation and joy. When we are struggling, our soul tends to be more aware of the negative energy of what is going on around us. This can ultimately attract the manifestation of even more negative energy, stressful situations and unpleasant events. In the end, even more bad days will come our way.
However, when we decide to stand strong and stop the downward spiral of our energy, and to be grateful for all of life’s lessons, whether good or bad, our energy begin to shift for the better.
When I pay my bills (a task that most of us really do not enjoy), I always write thank you under the last entry in my bank journal. When I think of the reason for doing this, especially when it means spending money on things that are not tangible and sitting in my hand, the explanation comes very easily. I am saying thank you for actually having the money to pay these bills – the hydro bill so I can have lights, the gas bill so I can have heat in the winter, the credit card bill for those urgent things I had to purchase, and the medical bill that allowed me to purchase the medication I need to keep my health in check, and so on. Even though these things may not be material things that I can feel or see every day, it means something at some point to make my life better.
The Challenge To Remain In The Light
What is the one area of your life that you would prefer to improve or change entirely? Mine without question would be to remain in the Light.
We live in a digital age, where we have instant access to information of all varieties… some truthful, others not so accurate. Once in a while this leads to something of value, but for the most part it is just a bombardment of noise, which is mostly designed to make us purchase and consume more products and services than we really need.
Scare tactics, for example, encourage us to buy more medication and nutritional supplements than any reputable doctor would recommend. Fearmongering convinces us to install excessive additional security for our homes. And airbrushed models tempt us into buying an endless assortment of goods that seldom add much value to our daily lives.
Meanwhile many of us have the tendency to complain about the government, the exorbitant rates charged for our monthly utility services, and the escalating cost of food and basic necessities.
The personal challenge for me is to allow myself the guilty pleasure of discussing any of these topics without vibrating into a negative state of mind. I can physically feel, in my body, the moment my energy starts to get into that negative energy frequency.
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself. Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
Healing Through Radical Self-Forgiveness
There’s no getting around the fact that we’re our own worst critics. There has been much written on the subject of forgiving others, but what about forgiving ourselves? This is the first and most crucial step to real, lasting, healthy self-love.
The roots of the pain many of us feel are guilt and shame – the knowledge that we have wronged or hurt someone else, and the lasting fallout resulting in self-harm. Guilt is sometimes a catalyst to change behavior, but shame often comes with long-term effects, such as negative thinking patterns, self-harming behavior such as addiction, depression or anxiety, and self-sabotage.
Over long periods shame is like a poison in our bloodstream which touches every aspect of our lives. But it doesn’t have to last! There is a healthy way to overcome the legacies of shame and guilt, and it all starts with compassion.
A Sense of Calm – A Message From My Guides
Sometimes the emotional charge of something as simple as a misunderstood comment, or a statement taken out of context, can throw even the most level-headed person into a tailspin. Developing a general demeanor of good humor can assist you in dealing with some of these most difficult, embarrassing or awkward situations encountered in life.
Everyone handles things differently, doing the best they can with the information they have at the time. Although, generally, the goal is to come to a better understanding and reach common ground, sometimes this takes much more time, effort and compromise than expected.
Although it is important to resolve an issue and clear the air, if possible, it is equally important to put each issue into context. Years from the date of the affront, will the issue be remembered at all and, if so, will it have anywhere near the importance that it did at the time? Certain issues will never be forgotten, however, they can often be forgiven for the sake of all parties involved.
A Spiritual Approach To Chronic Complainers
Don’t complain, don’t ever complain. These are words I read in a book long ago, and they have stuck in my mind ever since. However, I certainly seem to have attracted a lot of complainers into my life – moaners and critics who have taken the very process to an art form! Amongst these individuals are family, friends and love relationships, and they are all challenging in their own way.
I have come to the conclusion that the lesson those souls have given me, is to rise above the irritation, and perhaps to try and see their predicament and unhappiness from a place of compassion. I have since managed to become less affected by other people’s groaning, because I stopped thinking that their displeasure might be my fault, or that I could ‘fix’ them and turn them from a ‘cup-half-empty’ type of person to a ‘cup-half full.’