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Healing Through Radical Self-Forgiveness

click photo for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comThere’s no getting around the fact that we’re our own worst critics. There has been much written on the subject of forgiving others, but what about forgiving ourselves? This is the first and most crucial step to real, lasting, healthy self-love.

The roots of the pain many of us feel are guilt and shame – the knowledge that we have wronged or hurt someone else, and the lasting fallout resulting in self-harm. Guilt is sometimes a catalyst to change behavior, but shame often comes with long-term effects, such as negative thinking patterns, self-harming behavior such as addiction, depression or anxiety, and self-sabotage.

Over long periods shame is like a poison in our bloodstream which touches every aspect of our lives. But it doesn’t have to last! There is a healthy way to overcome the legacies of shame and guilt, and it all starts with compassion.

Compassion allows us to learn to love ourselves, to overcome the legacies of shame. In many ways shame is a vicious cycle – the more of it we have, the less likely we are to begin the work of forgiveness, and the lower our self-esteem. Many of us also carry the need of perfectionism, or to ‘be good’ all the time.

You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens ~ Louise L. Hay

The real secret? Until we are able to forgive ourselves, we’re unable to forgive others. In fact, unless we’ve done this important work, we’ll continue to play out self-destructive habits and behaviors. You may have heard that “hurt people hurt people?” Well, it’s true. We are likely to pass on the shame and guilt that we feel ourselves.

There are four main strategies to use when beginning the work of self-forgiveness: understanding of self; seeing a common humanity; earning forgiveness through a series of steps; and asking a higher power for forgiveness.

Understanding of self allows for insight into why we carry shame and how we perpetuate it in our lives. It is perhaps the most powerful method of all, for when we understand something, we are less likely to fear it. Common humanity is the knowledge that we have all harmed and been harmed by others, and that we can be empathetic and understanding of these mutual struggles as we heal.

The earning of forgiveness can be a difficult task, since guilt goes hand in hand with shame and we may trick ourselves into thinking we don’t ‘deserve’ it. And a higher power, no matter your spiritual tradition, can be a way of unburdening yourself of guilt and shame and metaphorically apologizing.

If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself ~ Barbara De Angelis

The work of self-forgiveness isn’t easy, and it’s not going to happen right away. In many cases people go through life shackled by the effects of guilt and shame. But once you start, you will see that they have distorted your perceptions of everything, including your self-image, and they will begin to slip away.

Once you fully engage in this work you can build a better version of yourself who is mentally healthy and happy. It’s the most important thing you can do for yourself right now, so go do it!


About The Author: Mystic Shelley

Mystic Shelley is a five-star psychic, Reiki healer, clairvoyant and empathic reader. She offers her clients honest answers about past, present and future events with the help of her trusted guides. She reads in the area of love, relationships, career, money and all matters of life. Mystic Shelley was born with talents that would later mark her as a gifted psychic, but she chose not to embrace them early on. In her 30’s, a not-so-chance meeting with a celebrated psychic set her on a course that awakened her gifts. Born with the gifts of clairvoyance and empathy, her psychic mentor helped her to expand those abilities, taking her talents to the next level. With experience came proficiency and today she has a growing list of devoted clients who sing her praises. In addition, she’s also actively assisted other psychics to open up to their abilities. If you are looking for direct and honest answers get a reading with Mystic Shelley now at PsychicAccess.com

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