calm
Leave Some Space For Grace
When I read energy, it is shown to me in terms of the strength of that energy. In other words, the strength of the energy is directly tied to its manifestation here in the physical realm. As above, so below.
When we are angry or in conflict, we are often heavily invested in simply being right. And the more the argument evolves… the more virulent the energy becomes. This is never a hopeful, healthy precursor to manifesting better things in our life.
Fortunately, there is the powerful spiritual and emotional energy that love and forgiveness can also manifest in our lives, to counteract the impact of negative emotional energies.
A sister to the energies of love and forgiveness that is not always afforded equal honor, bit is equally powerful is the gift of grace. You may have heard of ‘grace under pressure?’ Essayist William Hazlitt defines grace as “the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.”
So, what is grace? Webster’s Dictionary defines grace as both a noun and a verb. Noun: unmerited favor, kindness undeserved. Verb: to confer dignity or honor on, or to add beauty to.
Grace is the ‘breath’ we take between anger and forgiveness. It is a choice to be silent, hold our tongue, and open the door for peace to enter into a challenging situation.
Angels naturally possess infinite grace, and many times the angels I work with have to remind me to hold my tongue, think before I speak, and simply be silent and listen to the person I am angry with. Being heard even if we are not understood is very validating. It says to the other person, “you are important to me, what you are feeling and thinking matters to me”. What you give you will receive.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
The Power Of Deep Breathing
It is not generally understood how important deep, healthy, mindful breathing truly is. In fact, shallow breathing is linked to all kinds of health problems, including panic attacks, dry mouth, halitosis, cardiovascular issues, fatigue, respiratory problems, and sleep disorders. When we breathe with our chests, we use the muscles in our chests, shoulders, and necks to expand our lungs, which can result in neck pain, shoulder pain and headaches.
Most importantly, shallow breathing also hinders our immune functioning. The chronic stress and strain it places on the body, results in lower amounts of lymphocyte – a type of white blood cell that helps to defend the body from invading organisms. Shallow breathing actually lowers the amounts of proteins that signal other immune cells. The body thus becomes more likely to acute illnesses.
Deep, diaphragmatic breathing, on the other hand, can lower blood pressure, calm the mind, and improve sleep. It also lowers our heart rate, relaxes muscles, decreases stress, and increases energy levels.
Deep breathing also grounds and centers us. It has been proven to have a profound calming effect on the mind and body. When you are anxious, you take rapid short breaths. When you are content, you take deep, long, full breaths.
The way we breath also affects our mental abilities and thinking. Programming your brain when inhaling can lock thoughts into your memory and can be a powerful tool in our daily spiritual practice. Thinking or saying out loud affirmations like, ‘I am love and light; God and I, me and God are one; I am able to accomplish anything I want; I am powerful;’ will lock those thoughts into your psyche.
The Ripple Effect Of Kindness
Although I am usually very careful with online transactions, I received a notification yesterday of two unknown online purchases for the same amount, but from separate companies, both debited to my credit card without my knowledge.
It´s been a few years since I have been scammed in this way, so when I began investigating the matter it soon became obvious that online fraud has become rife in recent years. It’s much more complicated and frustrating to sort this out with vendors and the bank than it used to be. It was certainly a lesson for me to be more careful in future.
However, an unexpected blessing came from the mishap, as it often does. At the end of the first phone call I made to report the issue, the call center agent who assisted me thanked me for “being so nice to him.” When I asked him what he meant, he said my voice had soothed him and that he consequently felt a great sense of calm. He explained that people usually begin these call by yelling at him, as if he is somehow to blame.
“Well, it´s hardly your fault,” I said.
He continued by saying that customers are usually very angry and upset. Although he is trained to handle such calls, and understand the frustration of the callers, one never really get used to the feeling of being attacked and insulted – simply for doing your job.
I felt blessed after our interaction to know that I had impacted someone´s day positively. It reminded me that our words and actions really can make or break someone´s day.
It reminded me of the time when I used to work for an airline, many years ago. Our service training was heavily focused on customer care, particularly as this particular airline didn´t have a great reputation for punctuality or customer service in those days. Management was making a concerted effort to rectify their bad reputation.
De-Cluttering For Body, Mind & Spirit
For me the average household chore is only temporarily rewarding, because before you know it, the serenity which comes from the cleanliness and order you’ve just created is short lived. Dust and chaos return in a flash!
On the other hand, I find ‘de-cluttering’ much more rewarding, and more so knowing that a lot of ‘stuff’ not used in a while is either going to someone who can use it, or to help in raising funds for one of the animal charities I support.
More frequently these days, people are adopting a minimalist feng shui approach to furnishing their homes – and also in other areas of their lives – because somewhere deep down we all long for the space and lack of gadgets and stuff that our forefathers managed quite happily without.
Much has been brought to our TV screens these days in the way of reality shows about compulsive hoarding, bringing awareness about how the obsession of accumulating a vast amount of things is actually an emotional issue, rather than one of material usefulness.
Advances of modern civilization are generally limited to the material. So, our spiritual and mental progress hasn’t kept up with the material, hence people’s anguished stories, which I feel is accentuated because their spiritual development hasn’t kept up with their worldly achievements.
The benefit of clearing out that which no longer serves us helps in two major ways:
The True Meaning Of Inner Peace
What does the word ‘peace’ mean to you? Well, the true meaning of this word came to me recently in an unusual way, while I was doing a psychic reading.
The client I was reading for told me at one point in our conversation that he was finally “at peace.” All of a sudden, I felt as if I was sucked into a time warp. When he said the word peace in that context, it was like my own past went into this time machine and emerged in the present. It felt to me as if spirit was using this client’s words to get my attention about my own personal life.
In recent years things have been difficult in my own family life, especially around Christmas, because I have not seen my son in many years. It has been challenging for me and everyone around me.
I made the classic mistake. We tend to think that if we focus very hard on avoiding something negative, we might block it or prevent it from entering our life. We believe this is the best way to control the outcome of what could happen to us in the future. Ironically, this is often the reason why we attract more negative things into our lives.
We also tend to think that ‘being at peace’ only means to eliminate and overcome stress in our lives. Or we think it merely helps us to sleep better. I have always known that if I try to live in a more a stress-free world in my own mind, I would feel better about my life in general. But I never considered peace to be a tool to use for finding a better way to deal with not seeing my son.
In life we have many potholes to avoid and many mountains to climb, and if we look to truly have peace in our life we need to come to place of deeper acceptance and letting go, instead of merely trying to be stress-free. True inner peace is a powerful medicine that everyone can use every day.
Being Relaxed Is Good
It is difficult for most of us to enjoy a few moments of deep relaxation and inner peace. The many pressures of modern life seldom affords us the bliss of such a ‘luxury.’
A relaxed mindset if vital for our spiritual well-being and soul growth. When we are in a relaxed state, we are better able to channel our higher self and be aware of what our angels and guides are saying to us. But when we are inundated with the chaos of the world, we cannot connect with that higher frequency and we miss all the good things spirit has to offer.
So, I asked spirit what busy humans can do to be more relaxed more often. I received the answer from a cashier who, after I had paid said goodbye with a smile I will never forget and said, “Being relaxed is good.”
I just nodded and said, “Yes, yes indeed it is.”
In our busy lives we forget how important it is to take some time out for self-care. And when we do, we realize what we have been missing!
I believe the best starting point is healthy sleep. Taking the time to get a good night’s rest empowers us to wake up and find that life doesn’t seem quite as difficult as it seemed the day before. Good, adequate sleep helps us see life through the lens of a more relaxed mindset.
Being well-rested is good.
A few additional lifestyle choices that are not so difficult to achieve can further enhance a relaxed state of mind. These include healthy eating and proper nutrition, exercise, taking warm baths, meditating, reading a good book before bedtime, and so on. Continue reading