spouse
The Stages Of True Love
When we fall in love with a potential life partner, we need to understand the lessons and challenges it may bring. Couples grow further with each of these organic stages, and we can learn much about ourselves, as well as our beloved’s life, needs, wants, wishes, goals, and desires.
Those who do not make it through the initial stages will not stay together for very long, and if they do it may become a very toxic relationship situation. Meeting someone is only the first step of the journey. For lasting happiness and fulfillment, we must complete all the stages successfully.
The Matching Stage
Take a moment to feel each one of these checklist items and apply it honestly to your current relationship situation:
1: Attracted to what your eyes see.
2: Appearance, feeling comfortable with their way of dressing
3: Mannerisms, how they hold and present themselves.
4: Voice. Their voice sound has a comforting feeling.
5: Speech. The words they use resonate with your communication style.
6: Values. Does their values line up with yours in life?
7: Lifestyle. Does it blend with yours?
8: Obligations. Are they something you can accept?
9: Goals in life. Matching your goals is a must.
10. Past Experience, can you understand and let go of these.
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
Be True To Yourself To Find Your Soulmate
How do I find my soulmate? This is indeed the magic question. Many people are constantly searching for that special person, but just seem unable to find them.
Actually, achieving this life goal is often simpler than most people believe it to be. The direct path to your soulmate is paved with clarity of intention. Many people do not find what they wish for in life simply because they don’t know what they are looking for.
Sometimes, people end up finding the person they used to be looking for a decade or two ago, because they never ‘updated’ their intention. As we grow and evolve in our life, our priorities, goals, wants and needs change. But we do not always make the effort to match our intention and energy vibration to it.
To find your soulmate, the first thing to recognize, or reconsider, is what do you truly want? Make a list of traits you wish for in a partner: caring, sense of humor, fun-loving, adventurous, happy, joyful, good listener, honest, dependable, loyal, respectful, kind, confident, nurturing, strong, ambitious, trustworthy?
Keep the list short and concise, as the more complicated your wish list becomes, the longer and more complicated the manifesting process will become. Nobody is perfect, do expect too much. Instead identify your shortlist of ‘must have’ qualities that are non-negotiable. Identify your absolute deal-breakers.
You must look at what is really important to you; what is a priority. Once you have decided, stick to those items of priority. Every time you meet someone new, make sure the person has these qualities. If they don’t, move on. This is key to finding your happiness and fulfillment – not to settle for less than you deserve.
You need to believe you deserve this and to be happy. It sounds basic and simple, but you will be surprised to know how many people tend to put their own needs last and end up with someone who who treats them poorly…just to be with someone. It is important to remember you are important. Ask yourself honestly what you want, need and deserve.
Technology Does Not Make Love Any Easier
I have personally found over many years of falling in love myself and having been in both good and bad relationships, as well as doing love and relationship readings for thousands of clients all over the world, that romantic love is more about personal soul growth, spiritual evolution and enlightenment than anything else. I find that only once we have learned certain life lessons and spiritual insights, especially with regards self-love, are we truly ready and able to love others unconditionally. Only then you can truly love someone one else, and have them love you equally in return. When this finally happens it is a lovely thing indeed, but in today’s world it is becoming be a rare thing.
Having a tight-knit, loving family or a lasting romantic relationship has become almost ‘abnormal’ in our modern world. In my view technology has been hindering us more than it is helping. The many social media platforms and dating apps we use these days has made love and romance even more complicated. These social networking sites have also created many new problems in long-term relationships and marriages, and I have witnessed it destroying many good relationships.
For example, too many of folks are curious about their ex-partners, because they now have more access to ‘stalking’ others. Some even want to reunite with their ex, who has married someone else in the meantime. Social media offers them an easy way to renew contact and often leads to trouble. Don’t get me wrong, technology is a great thing if used properly, but sometimes it can be also be too convenient and intrusive in other people’s lives.
There Is Only One Path To True Love
There is only one way to experience love, joy, and peace and that is in the now. Too often we have most of our mental energy focused on our future happiness. These thoughts conjure up ideas and imaginings about some future reality we are yet to experience, believing that a certain future event, experience or outcome will finally ‘make us happy.’
There is a real problem with this line of thinking, because there is actually no way to ‘arrive’ at a future happiness. Even if specific ‘happy events’ do occur someday in our future, the happiness derived from these events will always be short lived. It will be a temporary excitement or euphoria, not lasting happiness.
The truth is we always carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go in life and the state of our everyday consciousness is our only sustained experience than will be able to count on in a future reality.
Many spiritual wisdom traditions talk about the past and the future as being an illusion, because the only moment that is real is the present moment. All the love, joy, and peace that anyone can possibly experience in their lifetime all happens in the current moment.
The never-ending search for ‘somewhere out there’ happiness is also fruitless because the experience of happiness can only happen within and in the here and now, and not somewhere out there. Love, joy and happiness are internal experiences.
There is no external place out there in the Universe where you can find a secret fountain of love, joy or happiness. You will not be able to seek it out and fill up a bucket with these feelings, because the actual fountain is within. Continue reading
How To Find Lasting Love
Most of us want to love and be loved. Many people are looking to find the right person. But how does one find love and keep it? And what is the key to finding the right person?
Spirit says one needs to start with yourself first. Without accepting and loving yourself unconditionally, it is impossible to genuinely love someone else.
Do you love yourself enough to find love? Are you strong enough to let go of a loveless or toxic relationship? Do you know what is best for you, or are you willing to settle for a ‘just okay’ relationship…simply to be in a relationship?
In my experience, low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth does not lead to long-lasting, sincere love. Love yourself enough to leave. Loving yourself is just a matter of wanting the best for you.
Doing psychic love readings for many years, I have found that some people simply settle because they are lazy, not wanting to put in the effort. But true and lasting love is hard work. Some feel trapped in bad relationships, falsely believing they can’t get out, while others are scared to leave because they feel they cannot do any better.
Everyone deserves to be in a happy, healthy relationship. We are all deserving of love and belonging. If you are in an unfulfilled, or even an abusive relationship, you need to take decisive steps towards changing your prospects for the better. Take back your power.
Just because someone likes you does not mean you must like them. If you want to see if you really like them, and let it play out, great. Does not mean you have to like them back, much less marry them! Some people are just not the person for you. Move on, or you will never find your person.
Strategies For Manifesting A Successful Relationship
Over the years I have worked with many clients who either want to improve an existing relationship or manifest a new relationship. In these readings, spirit consistently suggests three simple spiritual practices that can radically change our relationships and romantic energy.
We tend to get stuck by over-analyzing and over-thinking our love lives, to the extent that we develop a lot of emotional charge and resistance in relationship matters. With the guidance of spirit, I have found these three simple strategies to be very helpful in moving our love energy in a more healthy and happy direction, in a very short time. Try these strategies in your daily spiritual practice. It could help you finally step into the love life of your dreams!
Dreamwork
Begin your relationship work in the dream state. Before going to bed each night, ask your angels, guides and higher self to invite your current love partner, new love interest or a future partner to join you for an ‘astral date.’ I like to think of it as ‘etheric couples counseling’ on the astral plane.
Meeting your lover in your dreams can ignite a significant energy shift in your relationship life, which will eventually translate into the emotional, mental and physical realms. In this altered state of consciousness the higher selves of you and your partner do the work with the support of spirit. The limitations, judgments and preconceptions of your ego or ‘lower self’ are all deactivated while you are asleep and in the dream state, and therefore unable to interrupt or interfere with the process.