self-love
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!
Let Your Authentic Self Sparkle
Too many relationships are ruined by worrying about what other people think of us. We worry about what people will say, what people will think. I’ve seen many people disconnected from their loved ones in this way, with their only means of continued communication being social, or texting. They’re so afraid of expressing the things they should say, and so on.
If we could just remove our hardened shell and reveal who we really are, and allow our souls to sparkle, be authentic and keep it real with one another, I think we would connect perfectly.
In today’s world we are so brainwashed to think we have to be something we are not. I see so many people communicating, but putting on airs, acting like they are someone they are not, to try and impress, or to sell an idea, or sell themselves as someone else. It can take a toll on the body, mind, spirit. If only we could allow ourselves to show the world who we truly are, and to speak our truth, and sincerely connect with our loved ones, family members, friends, we would all have happier, richer lives.
Sometimes we stop being who we truly are, because the person we communicate with snaps at us, or has a problem with our opinions or how we view the world. When we share our thoughts and opinions freely, these people make us feel like we can’t be who we truly are around them.
Love Yourself, And Don’t Stop Believing
Recently, I had time to reflect on different aspects of my own life and where it was, or wasn’t going. I was starting to feel self-pity creeping up on me, and had to act to shift my energy out of that negative space, as it would trickle off into other areas of my life.
I was supposed to attend a celebration with family on a Wednesday, as well as a gathering with another group of relatives on the following Saturday. But I wasn’t prioritizing my own needs and well-being, and the Universe decided to put an end to my plans.
To cut a long story short, on the Wednesday, instead of going to the party, I landed in the local hospital emergency room, as my knee gave out and I could not walk. The Universe was telling me to rest – to sit down and get my priorities back in order.
My priorities have always been my children and grandchildren, and that hasn’t changed. However, my views on the recurring family drama, with regards who can go see who, and when, and where, and how, has significantly changed. I have decided to let go of always trying to keep the peace, and please everyone. I no longer wish to expose myself to the unnecessary stress and commotion of it all.
I let it go by simply asking my angels to deal on my behalf with all the stuff that I could no longer hold inside and carry, and take it off my shoulders. And yes, it took me a couple days to realize what was needed, but as soon as I did this, the need for walking with a cane started to disappear and the pain and swelling in my knee has been minimal the last couple of days.
Are You Living An Unexamined Life?
According to Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This statement is very powerful, yet it has a very simple meaning. What you do not change, does not change you. When your actions remain the same, so do the results. If you cannot examine the things that are eating at you, the things that have gone wrong in your life, and even the things that have gone right, nothing changes.
We must look at our life and go behind the mask that we may be wearing, to cover up the fact that we are vulnerable inside. There are often so many aspects to our life that requires change in order to move forward to a better place.
For example, are you repeatedly settling for the same type of person as a partner and find it constantly failing? Are you going to a dead-end job day in and day out, that you hate so much that merely entering the workspace already makes you despise the day before it even starts? Do you look in the mirror and see things about yourself that makes you miserable?
Take off the mask of pretension and make an effort to change what isn’t working. Examine why you keep repeating the same patterns.
If you are ending up with the same type of person every time, ask yourself why? Are you trying to meet someone in the same way? Are you settling for someone that is not all that you would like, but feel it’s better than to have no one at all? Are you compromising on what you want? If they are not what you seek, cut them loose. They are not going to suddenly change.
Transmuting The Negative Energy Of Self-Sabotage
In many religions and spiritual wisdom traditions we find guidelines on healing and mind-body wellness. Many of these philosophies, in conjunction with modern medicine, can be a great aid for mind, body and soul. In all spiritual traditions there are usually rules or recommendations aimed at the well-being of society as a whole, as well as each individual soul. Many of these teachings warn us of dangers we might find in our own thought, choices and actions. And if we are unaware or careless, a damaging thought or action can turn into a harmful pattern.
Recognizing a damaging thought or behavior pattern in our lives is not easy. We might realize that someone else makes the same mistakes over and over, but it may be difficult to have the same insight about ourselves. We create the imagined walls of our own limitations, and abide by them, without being aware of making this decision. These limiting, destructive thoughts and actions that appear repeatedly in our lives – especially those demeaning, self-sabotaging, angry thoughts – are in essence negative energy vibrations. A few example of such thoughts can be:
I am useless and incompetent.
I am not strong enough.
Nobody cares about me.
I do not deserve better.
I hate myself.
Inviting The Comfort Of Angels
Now, more than ever before in our lifetime, angels are here to support, guide and comfort us in these challenging times. Angels always show up during times of great calamity and crisis. Many angel sightings or experiences have been witnessed during traumatic periods throughout human history. It is important to remember that they are ever-present, and waiting to be of service, love and support.
Over the years, I have seen time and time again that some of the key primary purposes of the angels in our lives is to remind and reinforce for us that we are not alone; that we can and will overcome the challenges we face at the moment; and to link us back to the best part of our hearts, which is where our true strength lies. It is that part of us which they hold sacred for us.
The angels have known us since before we were born. They have been watching over us as we have gone through triumph and tragedy, ever-vigilant, always supportive, they are loving and guiding us with signs and feelings towards our hearts desire. Through it all they remain unwavering in their faith in our ability to rise to the full expression of our hearts in all of life’s circumstances.
They are friend to all, regardless of our diverse beliefs and sometimes misguided dogmas. They truly are here to serve all of humankind. More often than not they are subtle in their presence, and their voices come through in feelings of comfort, love, and peace. They also guide us with a deep sense of knowing that a course of action we are about to embark on is either advantageous, or dangerous. They are never judge nor jury; they are always our advocates without question.
The Truth About ‘Twin Flames’
If you are confused about the spiritual concept of ‘twin flames’ and ‘soulmates,’ you’re not alone. Perhaps, I can shed some light on this very misunderstood subject.
I could never have understood or imagined it myself either, until I found myself going through the ‘madness’ myself, over 20 years ago. If you have never gone through a so-called twin flame experience, you won’t understand it. It’s a romantic connection like no other! But the biggest lesson I learned for it is that it is also no reason to stay in a toxic relationship.
My twin flame relationship was highly important to me, regardless of it being a one-way street. I meant so much to me that I ended up travelling to Mumbai, India, to obtain advice and assistance from a highly skilled gurugi (spiritual teacher). I was convinced that she could fix things for me, since my relationship was surely ‘meant to be.’
The feelings were so intense, for me, anyway. And, I was convinced that my beloved’s feelings for me were of the same exquisite level. In fact, I had no idea or any way of gauging otherwise. The ultimate fantasy, right!
Further, I thought that it was up to me to heal this person that had captured my heart. It seemed to me the more painful the relationship was, the more healing I had to do for him. As a result, I carried the entire relationship energetically, and emotionally.
For example, although I had always been a passionate ‘foodie,’ I began to look anorexic, as I continued on this healing mission for him. I was eating plenty of good food all the time, but I realize now that I was so drained, as a result of giving him so much of my energy, that it wouldn’t have mattered what, or how much I ate.