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Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. You’re too sensitive. You’re making things up. No one else has ever said that about me. I get along with everyone else except you. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. Everyone says you’re crazy. I’m not cheating, so maybe you are… since you are accusing me. You are too sensitive.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you, when you have confronted them with their own issues or manipulations.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is more common in romantic relationships, but it can occur in landlord and tenant relationships, friendships, employee and employer relationships, and even in relationships with neighbors. It is basically the art of messing with someone’s mind or reality. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right in front of the person, and sometimes it is under the radar and you don’t you know who is gaslighting you, or even if you are actually being gaslighted. Continue reading
Trust Your Intuition To Avoid Gaslighting
Gaslighting can be a very destructive component of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of ‘reality twisting’ or ‘crazy making’ that aims to confuse or manipulate the victim. Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship, by making the victim question their reality.
The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, in the workplace and with neighbors. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but mostly it is done under the radar and you don’t always know who is gaslighting you, or even that you are being gaslighted. Continue reading
Love Turns Practical With Venus In Capricorn
For the past few weeks, Venus, the Love Planet, has been in Sagittarius where the focus was on freedom versus intimacy and commitment. Due to this, many romantic relationships have been challenged, or have been coming to an end, and there has been a theme of speaking your truth.
But a shift is coming on December 25th, when Venus will enter into the sign of Capricorn until January 17, 2018. Compared to the adventurous and free-spirited risk-taking in our love lives in previous weeks, this will usher in a more practical and goal-oriented time for romance. Continue reading
Romance And The Law Of Attraction
You are most likely familiar with the Law of Attraction and the notion that positive or negative thought will attract likewise energies or results. In other words, you ‘get out what you put out.’ But did you know that this principle applies just as much to our love lives as our work, money, and other aspects of our lives?
When looking for a romantic partner, people tend to focus on the superficial: appearance, style of dress, social status, income level, and so on. We may say that we want a mate who is active, happy, and successful. But looking in the mirror, how much do those criteria describe us? If we are lazy, unkind, or cynical, the Law of Attraction mandates that inevitably, the same type of person will be drawn to us. Continue reading
Good Old-Fashioned Dating Before Your Commit
Some of my most treasured moments have been the conversations I’ve had with folks from my grandparents’ generation. I especially like to ask elderly couples what their secret is to a long-lasting marriage, or relationship.
Their answers always put a smile on my face. Usually they would say that they slowly got to know each other, to see if they had the same values and decide if they were compatible.
Sadly, much has changed over the years. These days people no longer seem willing to put in the work and commitment it takes to build a strong foundation for a healthy, enduring relationship. Instead, we rush into romantic connections without thinking and seldom questioning the other person or their motives. Continue reading
Hanging On To The Wrong Person
As I continue to take calls and questions from people in pain, the one common denominator in many of these questions is the effect another person is having on the caller’s life.
So many people are in relationships with the wrong person. They hang onto someone, just waiting for things to change or be different. However that is usually not what happens. People do not change for another person, and if they do, it never lasts or works out in the long run. People can only change themselves for themselves, in order to make it last.
Hanging onto the wrong person in your life – whether it be a friend, family, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, and even a boss, can hold you back from having your best and highest good in life. It can keep the amazing blessings that are waiting for you from coming in. Continue reading
Spiritual Awakening Is A Double-Edged Sword
Many times in my life I’ve had to move on, leaving friends, family, relationships and spouses behind, because I outgrew them. The spiritual awakening process is a double-edged sword. When we awaken, our value systems change. The shift is a blessing, but burning bridges always hurts, and often when we least expect it.
One of the most obvious symptoms of knowing we’re no longer in sync with those around us, is when we can do nothing other than listen to our inner guidance, as it gets louder and louder. And, the more we tune into it, the more authentic we become and we can’t pretend anymore. Truth and integrity take over, because those values are more in alignment with our soul.
Often, those closest to us, align themselves with their own illusion of who they want us to be. They project onto us the values they think they most admire, and choose to find these in us, as opposed to who we really are. As Maya Angelou stated so wisely, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them; the first time.” Continue reading