desires
Reclaiming Your Power When A Relationship Ends
One of the main reasons it is so painful to release someone when a relationship ends, is because we have usually invested so much of our time and energy in our connection with that person. In essence, what we are truly missing when we mourn a relationship are parts of our self that we have given away. What we are mourning is the loss of our hopes and dreams, not merely the presence of the person who is no longer in our life.
If this is something you are currently struggling with, I recommend the following ritual designed to help you reclaim your power after a relationship break-up, so that you can restore your inner wholeness and resume your search for true and enduring love.
Supplies
- 3 votive candles: 1 blue, 1 green, 1 yellow
- 1 aqua marine or clear quartz crystal
- rain or sage incense wand
- small mirror
- 3 copper pennies
- 2 tbsp of fresh or dried mint in a small bowl
- 2 tbsp sea salt
Forgiveness Is The Solution
Forgiveness may be the path to a truly happy and fulfilled life. In his book The Forgiveness Solution, Dr. Philip Friedman puts forth the idea that all our emotional concerns, such as judgment, anger, and grievance, come from our inability to forgive. When we hold onto this emotional baggage, it harms everything. Hurt people hurt people. Taken to the extreme, it may lead to self-harm, or harm to others. But there’s a way out of this vicious cycle.
The first and most important step is to learn to forgive ourselves and develop, what Dr. Friedman calls ‘self-regulation skills.’ In essence these skills are defined by the classic Serenity prayer for courage to change what we can, acceptance of what we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. In addition, becoming wholly healthy, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, will better allow self-forgiveness.
When we engage in our daily spiritual practice, we should ideally include a mantra about forgiveness. It may take a while for the idea to take root. Habits take about 30 days to become routine, but after you’ve begun to forgive, you can let the pain go by the wayside.
Keeping a positive attitude is essential to the process of forgiveness. This doesn’t mean that you have to be happy all the time. What is does mean is that setbacks and obstacles are regarded as challenges to overcome, rather than insurmountable hurdles.
Inspiration – A Message From My Guides
In times of division and mistrust, it is often easy to see the negative side of any given issue. Rather than letting everything pile up around you and affect your own positive mood, though, it is more helpful to try and find a little sunshine as you go about your day-to-day business.
Whenever possible, search for inspiration in even the simplest of things. If you can put your negative thoughts to one side and look elsewhere for inspiration, it can make it much easier to see the positive side of life.
Look for some good in people, even if they do not share your views. Focus on interesting and creative news stories of the day and look for inspiration in the most unexpected or mundane places.
Find joy in little everyday things and don’t take anything for granted. Imagine the myriad of components that had to fall into place in order for you to be where you are in this time and place. Be grateful for the lessons you have learned and your ability to mentor others by example.
The more you search for things that inspire and make you smile, the more examples you will find and the easier it will be to recognize that your world has many points of inspiration.
Drinking Crystal-Charged Water
Drinking crystal-powered water is a must for anyone doing any kind of healing work. It is a great way to boost your immune and nervous systems, clear your mind of negative thoughts, increase your intuition and raise your vibration.
So, how does it work? First, you want to select a crystal that resonates with you. Keep in mind that each crystal and stone has a different metaphysical meaning, quality, energy and vibration.
Quartz crystal is the most powerful for healing work.
Rose quartz and green stones, like Malachite and Aventurine, helps with healing heartbreaks and emotional loss.
Amethyst is good for raising your vibrational and increasing your intuitive ability.
Carnelian is good for giving you a creative boost.
Citrine helps with finding your inner wisdom, will power and healing your childhood wounds.
Red Jasper and Bloodstone are great for releasing fear and anxiety.
Lapis Lazuli is great for helping you be a more effective communicator. It is a great elixir to drink right before giving a speech or having an important meeting.
Your Soulmate is Not Someone Else’s Partner
Many people go through life looking for their soulmate or twin flame, while they may have already found them. To me a soulmate is simply someone you have a past life connection to and your souls cross paths again in this lifetime. It does not mean they are meant to be with you forever. It does not mean that you are meant to be lovers, partners or any other connection other than, you have been together in some capacity in a past life.
Sometimes clients who consult me about their love life are enamored with another person’s spouse or partner, and are so sure that this person is meant to be with them, instead of the person they are with. But the truth is, the Universe, Source, God, will never send you someone else’s partner to be your life mate.
I hear so often, “But I love him!” Or “We are so good together and she does not love her husband.” But these are merely empty words, or wishful thinking. Chances are you are only being used by that other person. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear. “Oh yes, my spouse and I have drifted apart.” Or, ‘My spouse treats me very badly.” Or the best one, “I’m only staying there until the kids are out of school.” These are simply lines to justify the pursuit of an affair.
An Attitude Of Gratitude
I find that people who don’t appreciate what they have, often have their gifts and blessings challenged, or even lose it. And obsessing about what we don’t have can lead to depression and anxiety. It certainly does not help you to attract more into your life.
So, consider shifting from thinking about what you don’t have, and what you want and goals, and instead try an ‘attitude of gratitude.’ This is a dramatic shift. Changing from thinking about what we don’t have to instead feeling grateful for what we do have, what we have been given, and what we have already achieved, changes what we attract.
This shift in thinking does not mean you can’t have goals, it just means you don’t feel an emptiness associated with those goals. Nothing is missing. There is just more to be gained. You already have the sundae… it doesn’t need that cherry on top. A cherry would just be a nice bonus!
I’ve seen people become so obsessed with a timeline for getting married, for example, that they soon did get married… but to the wrong person! The universe knows your true destiny. It knows what you need and when. Try to be patient and trust the flow.
Putting 90% of your focus on feeling grateful for what you do have and 10% on what you would still like to obtain, will completely change your outlook on life, as well as your physical and emotional health.
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Working With Elemental Spirit Guides
There are several different classifications of spirit guides and energies that we as humans can work with to help us on our journey. Most spiritual traditions teach about the elemental energy within the four classical elements. This is found in ancient Buddhist texts, Native American spirituality, shamanic traditions, within the Judeo-Christian and other monotheistic traditions.
Working with elemental spirit guides can give us insights and strategies to promote positive changes in our lives, reveal our unconscious self-destructive patterns, and transform our subconscious mind and create a harmonious and balanced internal story. Elemental guides can also assist us when we are walking through a difficulty or life challenge, as well as intensify our ability to manifest the lives we want.
It is not difficult to connect with the elemental forces. There are many strategies that can assist in bringing these elemental forces into our everyday lives.
The Spirit Of Water
The spirit of water is associated with emotions and love. It can be used to help in assisting with emotional challenges, grief, and a better understanding and greater experience of love in our lives.
In many ancient traditions there is a parallel between water and being humble. It is said to be the humblest of all the elements, always seeking the lowest point. However, in its humble position it is also one of the strongest elements. In seeking the lowest position, it can evaporate into the air, satiate the flames of fire, and carve through the mountains of the earth.