Put Your Phone Down, And Start Living!
I was blessed to be born before the arrival of the Internet and smart phone technology. It was a time when kids were playing outside all day, and we often did not want to go home, because we were having too much fun. It was a time when people still connected with each other in person, and on a deeper level. It was a time when we lived life in a much simpler way.
Since then the rise of digital technology and the Internet seemed like it happened overnight, and everyone was instantly hooked, including myself! It was exciting, because information was now just a click away. Communication was faster and easier, and you could ‘connect’ with just about anyone, anywhere, anytime.
But then social media and smart phones came along, and before we realized what hit us, it began to gradually cripple our ability to focus, to truly connect, to be present in the moment, and to be in touch with our spiritual nature. To make matters worse, we started comparing our lives to others: friends, enemies and idols… only to diminish our sense of self-worth.
Last weekend, I was playing the board game Monopoly with my teenage son and his best friend. His friend seemed unable to put his phone down and pay attention to the game. I asked him why, and he said it was because he was addicted to knowing what others were doing, and that he didn’t want to feel “left out.”
Are We There Yet?
Are we there yet? It’s okay to ask. The answer, however, should always be no. If we become preoccupied with destination, we lose sight of the purpose of the journey in the first place. When we honor the journey, we are able to keep on the path of forward motion.
Life itself is the journey. We learn the hard lessons, and finally understand that it’s a never-ending process. Often things occur in the guise of mistakes, failures, misunderstandings, hurts. But in truth, not learning from these events is the only failure. And if you don’t learn it the first time, it is highly likely the lesson will repeat itself, over and over again, until you actually do learn it.
When our behavior and actions change, we convert what we have learned into wisdom. For some people the process is a lifelong quest, while others utilize what they have learned and it moves them along quickly. Some people need to go deeper within themselves to make progress.
It is always good to ask if we are there yet. Especially at the beginning of every journey, or when the learned lessons tell us there is more work to be done – inner work to get to the very core of our being. For some people inner work can be very frightening, as many of us deeply suppress the things that we don’t want to deal with. But to complete the journey we must peel away the layers, like peeling an onion.
How To Keep Your Relationship Strong
Why is it that some relationships are successful, and some are not? When you fall in love your hope is obviously that it will last forever. There is nothing worse than falling for someone, only to end up heartbroken and confused about what had gone wrong, and wondering how you can go back to the way things used to be.
So, the question is, how do some relationships manage to last and stay so strong? I believe it begins with the simple things, like how we greet each other every day, for example. Making the effort to kiss our partner hello and goodbye every time we leave and arrive, is a thoughtfulness that can go a long, long way. It keeps the flame of intimacy burning so much stronger. We should also learn to say “I love you” without any restraints. Those three little words mean so much.
Sometimes of course there will be arguments in a relationship. Developing healthy conflict management skills is therefore essential. We might hit a nerve with each other, but just because we’re mad does not mean we don’t love each other. Every fight does not mean that your relationship is over. Any couple that goes the distance can rise above fights and realize what’s most important.
How To Boost Your Confidence
Sometimes I wish that confidence was for sale! Feeling confident can make all the difference, for example, when you are anxious about accepting a social invitation, without the need for spending hours of internal dialogue trying to convince yourself it will be okay for you to attend. Confidence also means being able to easily decide what to wear for the big night out, and so on.
Indeed, I have marveled at other people’s ability to do such things with ease. However, these very same people are no different than you or me. It is just that they have mastered their mindset with regards being confident, and so can you! Here’s how:
Maintain Healthy Boundaries
Have you noticed certain people in your life encroaching on your space and time? If so, it may be time to implement some polite, yet firm boundaries. By doing so, you should find that this really builds your confidence in both professional and personal relationships, and you no longer feel drained or undermined by specific individuals you have to share some of your time and space with.
Practice Self-Awareness
We hear a lot these days about being more self-aware, but just what is meant by this? Well, it simply means having the ability to recognize when you are falling into a pattern of self-sabotage. Let’s say, for example, you are due to meet a person who continually makes significant demands on you, but you find great difficulty in saying no to them. By learning the art of becoming more self-aware, you can plan, in advance, how to remain strong and firm with this particular individual, so that your relationship with them becomes far healthier.
Home Cleansing Ritual
Doing a cleansing, purifying and sealing ritual will refresh your personal space, infusing it with restorative vibrations and a spiritual aura. You can use this ritual any time you feel the energy in your house is dimming, or to bless a new home or office. It will raise the levels of your own well-being, as well as your surroundings.
Supplies
- 3 white candles
- Cinnamon incense
- 1/4 cup whole cloves
- 4 cups water
- Sage or sweet grass smudge stick (or sage incense)
- Quartz crystals – one for each room in your house
- Sea salt
- Small bowls or dishes – one for each room in your house
Preparation
Gather the cloves, cinnamon incense, smudge stick, quartz crystals, bowls, and candles, and place it your kitchen. Wear white when performing this ritual and play soothing classical, or instrumental music. Center yourself with a prayer or short meditation to set the mood before you begin.
Are You An Enabler?
Are you an enabler? Enablers come in all forms. I was one. I did it to my children. I was a single mother, and guilt motivates us to think we are doing the right thing, when in fact we are only crippling the recipient. I was also a child enabled by my parents, and the road to get my head straight was long and painful. They didn’t want to say no, so being brought up in an environment where everything is handed to you as a child, creates a crippled adult.
The television series My 600-lb Life, is a good example in my opinion. The people featured in the show are basically hostages in their own beds, due to their obesity. And each and every one of them is enabled by loved ones, family or friends bringing them more, and more unhealthy food. These people cannot go to the store themselves anymore, and yes, they may have eaten their way to where they are, but with the help of their enablers they are continuing to gradually destroy themselves. Is this really the answer? Because they love them and they can’t take that person being mad at them?
I’ve seen this with parent-child relationships. Guilt often compels the giving parent to give, until they bleed, and teaches the child that all they have to do is protest or create a drama, and they get their way. The results can be devastating.
Apologies From The Other Side
Departed loved ones have come through to me many times over the years with a message of apology for how they treated me, or one of my clients. There is typically a common thread in these spirit messages: they didn’t know better at the time, but they do now, and they now see things differently. With the apology usually also comes great regret and remorse, acknowledging the pain they caused us.
For anyone who has been on the receiving end of abuse, I have come to believe that there is also a lesson in this. For me, the lesson has been learning to love myself. I was a people-pleaser for most of my life, and to some extent this is probably still the case, but there is a lesson in this too, in learning about self-love and learning to put my own needs first. My experience has been instrumental in enabling me to identify with others, and, in turn, I have become more able to help others the best I can.
I love the teachings of the spirit guide Emmanuel, as channeled by the late Pat Rhodegast. Emmanuel says, “If we were not meant to have done something, we would not have, but that it was all appropriate at the time.” I seem to recall his teachings stating that this does not mean that we should condone the harsh treatment of others.
As adults, we have more choices, but when family and loved ones treat us harshly, we often hope that things would get better, or that perhaps they were just having a bad day. I personally would do just about anything to please them, desperate to get their approval. Others often commented on and in hindsight they were right, but I would continue to hope.