Poco A Poco

I thought today of how certain expressions tend to stick in our minds; thoughts which we adopt for a while, or even a lifetime. It can be the words of a famous writer we have read somewhere, an expression in a song, or even just the ideas of somebody we just had a brief conversation with.

Internationally renowned author and speaker, Wayne Dyer, once said, “You will never get everything done.” It’s a good feeling at the end of the day, to know that we’ve gotten through much on our ‘to-do list.’ But for me, I also gain some comfort from such as words of wisdom as Wayne Dyer’s, as well as the poem, Desiderata, which advises us to, “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste.”

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A couple of years ago, when my husband was involved in a serious car crash, the locals here in Spain would enquire as to how he was doing during his four month hospital stay. They would always end our conversation with the words, poco a poco, meaning “little by little.” They always said it with a vocal tone that implied that patience was required. It’s a process. All will resolve, a little at a time.

In front on me today, on my office desk, is my long to-do list. Of course, some things could be put off and prioritized, but others not. We have rather a lot of pets. With the latest rescue animals, I have to play nurse with a methodically kept chart, making sure they are given the right medication at the right time. The latest rescue we found only four weeks ago. She is a little nervous still, but ‘poco a poco.’ I see her confidence growing each day.

I try to plan, but as much as one may aspire to create order, it is my experience that a significant event, or even a small emergency, can crop up and throw our intended order right out the window. Perhaps this is a lesson in letting go of control?

I definitely had to learn about impatience, before I could learn about patience. My father and others close to me were terribly impatient. Some still are. It inspired me to try and attend to everything in its turn. I see how tightly wound up my loved ones have been over the years, and actually not made any faster progress in being so.

At Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, we used to focus a lot on being sober, and happy in our sobriety, “one day at a time.” Often old-timers would say how they sometimes found the thought of going without a drink for even just a day overwhelming. And so, they’d break it down to one hour, or even one minute at a time.

Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself ~ Saint Francis de Sales

When I try and be more mindful of what I am doing, and only complete something which is top priority on my to-do list, I always seem to accomplish all of the other things on my list anyway. I am learning to be more patient with the path I am on. Multi-tasking is all very well, and can feel quite empowering for a while, but when you can’t find your cell phone for hours (and when you finally do, it’s in the fridge), your mind is definitely over-cluttered!

By taking care of our thoughts and concentrating on other souls, we can help as much as possible, instead of trying to save the whole world. Everything feels that much more manageable when we focus on just a little at a time.

If we weren’t faced with challenges, and demanding people, we wouldn’t have any life lessons to learn. If there was a magical solution to challenges, we would be left with nothing to figure out, or to rise above. Basically, we wouldn’t learn to be flexible when a curve-ball is thrown at us, or to appreciate some calm times after the storms.

In our impatient culture, medicating our problems rarely brings us inner peace. Neither does following others’ lives on social media, instead of fully living our own. We put ourselves under additional pressure when we try to be like others, or to look like everyone else.

When I am impatient, I know that I am not paying attention to things around me. I miss the birds and the sunset, as I try to get through my to-do list for the day. I am going against the flow. So, patience is a helpful tool in helping us to stay centered, when others around us are getting into a spin.

Experience has taught me this, that we undo ourselves by impatience. Misfortunes have their life and their limits, their sickness and their health ~ Michel de Montaigne

The locals in our rural part of Spain do get stressed, usually because of their economic situation, or because they are worried about the well-being of a loved one. But never, in the three years we have been living here, have I heard them talk of “adrenal fatigue,” or “stress disorder,” or “feeling burnt out.” These are buzzwords I have only been hearing from my clients in recent years, not my village neighbors.

So, poco a poco has become my mantra lately. It resonates with me, and carries a lot of clout when I feel pulled in many directions. And most of all, it serves me best when I am beating myself up for not achieving as much as I think I should.