marriage
Slow And Steady Is The Best Path To Lasting Love
In today’s superficial world of online dating, hookup apps and sexual promiscuity, it’s has become a daunting challenge to find a suitable partner who is genuinely ready for long-term commitment and relationship monogamy.
Also, in the dating scene, people typically wear masks, especially during the initial introduction. Everyone wants to give a good first impression and rarely want to discuss their truth, or past traumas. Dates also like to exaggerate or omit information, to make themselves sound more important or successful than they really are.
A few weeks into a new relationship is usually when the cracks start to show and the truth begins to float to the surface. For example, he comes from a good family and appears to be successful on paper, but he is emotionally fragile, or verbally abusive and narcissistic in relationships. Or, he claims he is totally single when you first meet him, but there’s actually someone else in his life and they’re not breaking that up anytime soon, because they have money invested together or are married.
We too often get so caught up in the fuzzy feeling and fantasy of a person possibly being ‘the one,’ that we forget to question if they are in alignment with what we truly need to add value to our life. Always listen to what a date is telling you, without sugar-coating it for yourself.
Your Soulmate is Not Someone Else’s Partner
Many people go through life looking for their soulmate or twin flame, while they may have already found them. To me a soulmate is simply someone you have a past life connection to and your souls cross paths again in this lifetime. It does not mean they are meant to be with you forever. It does not mean that you are meant to be lovers, partners or any other connection other than, you have been together in some capacity in a past life.
Sometimes clients who consult me about their love life are enamored with another person’s spouse or partner, and are so sure that this person is meant to be with them, instead of the person they are with. But the truth is, the Universe, Source, God, will never send you someone else’s partner to be your life mate.
I hear so often, “But I love him!” Or “We are so good together and she does not love her husband.” But these are merely empty words, or wishful thinking. Chances are you are only being used by that other person. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear. “Oh yes, my spouse and I have drifted apart.” Or, ‘My spouse treats me very badly.” Or the best one, “I’m only staying there until the kids are out of school.” These are simply lines to justify the pursuit of an affair.
Creating Space Between Yourself And The Addict
Everybody needs a little time away. Some of us need much longer. I personally know people who have been together for decades, who have found the best way for them to stay together is to give each other some space.
But some of us need even more space than others, especially those of us who are with people who struggle with substance abuse in some way, shape or form. Spirit says that you can still love someone with addiction issues, but you might need some space and time away for your own well-being. I feel strongly that it is unhealthy to stay with someone if they have an addiction, because it does not contribute to peace in the body, mind, spirit, or the home in which you dwell.
Those that have to live with someone who abuses alcohol or drugs, know how hard it can be to have a meaningful conversation or healthy relationship with that person. The energy is always of a lower vibration. And children caught up in those situations have to feel it more than the adults, who may have learned to put up a shield of protection.
We must create a space between us and the addict, in order to keep peace and harmony in the home, for ourselves and those we love and care about. Keeping a peaceful home is a responsibility not only to ourselves, but to those who we are responsible for.
An Attitude Of Gratitude
I find that people who don’t appreciate what they have, often have their gifts and blessings challenged, or even lose it. And obsessing about what we don’t have can lead to depression and anxiety. It certainly does not help you to attract more into your life.
So, consider shifting from thinking about what you don’t have, and what you want and goals, and instead try an ‘attitude of gratitude.’ This is a dramatic shift. Changing from thinking about what we don’t have to instead feeling grateful for what we do have, what we have been given, and what we have already achieved, changes what we attract.
This shift in thinking does not mean you can’t have goals, it just means you don’t feel an emptiness associated with those goals. Nothing is missing. There is just more to be gained. You already have the sundae… it doesn’t need that cherry on top. A cherry would just be a nice bonus!
I’ve seen people become so obsessed with a timeline for getting married, for example, that they soon did get married… but to the wrong person! The universe knows your true destiny. It knows what you need and when. Try to be patient and trust the flow.
Putting 90% of your focus on feeling grateful for what you do have and 10% on what you would still like to obtain, will completely change your outlook on life, as well as your physical and emotional health.
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How To Use Your Astrological Natal Chart
In simple terms, your natal chart is the astrological positions of the planets at the exact time you were born. No two are exactly alike, even for identical twins, because each person’s time and place of birth are different. Free chart makers are widely available online, and all you’ll need is your time and place of birth.
So, once you find yours, what do you do with it? Your birth chart is a kind of road map for life. It will spell out your strengths and weaknesses, as well as hidden dangers, behavioral patterns and potential opportunities.
Each of the planets, including the Sun and Moon, are placed in one of twelve houses (segments) of your chart, representing hours of the day. The movements of the larger planets like Jupiter and Saturn point to larger trends like work habits and societal change.
The ascendant, or sign which was on the horizon at the time of birth, is a powerful insight into one’s personality as well, so it’s helpful to know precise times. An over- or under-abundance of elements or particular Zodiac signs will also provide a mirror to the owner of the chart.
Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists
Why are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.
But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.
An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.
There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.
Restore Your Love With A Recommitment Ritual
Performing a recommitment ritual can encourage a relationship to continue to grow and prosper. It can be performed as a couple or alone, in order to heal the relationship, restore love and bring the partnership back into balance.
To perform my version of such a ritual you will need:
3 glass bowls (4 inches or more in diameter)
Purified or filtered spring water
1 red rose (real or silk)
2 red candles
2 clear quartz and 2 rose quartz crystals
Rose or carnation incense
Cinnamon, allspice, thyme
2 sheets of paper and 2 pens
1 bell
Preparation
Holding the two sheets of paper together, cut them in half lengthwise, then again, and then a third time, to form a total of 16 squares. Divide the squares into two piles of eight.