The Fallacy Of Future Happiness

One of the most consistent messages that come through when I am doing readings for clients, is the effects of the stories we tell about life and our circumstances. This is the first in a series of two blogs discussing two types of stories that people often tell themselves that have the potential to promote self-sabotage related to nearly every area of life.

We are all storytellers by nature and every experience that we have as human beings is an interpretation of the world around us. We apply labels to the world around us and the circumstances we find ourselves in every day. One of the most damaging stories that we tell ourselves are the future stories of happiness.

Spirit will often give us insights into patterns in our own lives to avoid. A consistent pattern to avoid is the fallacy that something in the future will eventually cause happiness. Happiness simply does not work like that.

One of the parallel Tarot cards associated with this fallacy is the Nine of Swords, which represents self-fulfilling prophecies and self-sabotage. The story of, “I will be happy when…” only projects happiness outward into some future potential, rather than as an available experience that we can have right now.

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy ~ Guillaume Apollinaire

The story that says, “I will be happy when I get the ideal relationship, get married, buy the expensive car, and own the luxurious house,” takes away from any happiness now. This is because happiness can only ever be experienced in the present moment. Any story that says otherwise is a deception of the ego.

Spirit has been very clear in nearly every reading I have done on this subject. It is good to set goals and to plan for the achievement of such goals. However, making a goal to be our source of happiness limits our experience of actual happiness. Happiness is an intrinsic reality. It is something that we experience on the inside and then through this experience we can apply it to our circumstances.

Circumstances do not bring happiness. Even when people achieve one of their ‘happiness goals,’ this happiness is often very short lived. For example, let’s say someone had a story that said, “I will be happy when I get married.” They may experience the event and then gain a temporary sense of fulfillment. This is because the Universe is literal when it comes to manifesting. We create based on our thoughts, so when we have an intention that we will experience happiness because of an event, we will experience that happiness when the event occurs. However, making an event a source of our happiness only provides a temporary sense of happiness.

Sustainable happiness is a habit. It is not something that is achieved through the events of our lives. We experience happiness when we choose to follow the dictates of the heart that promote happiness. This can mean different things for different people, but in witnessing the messages and experiences of my clients, and in my own personal experience, often service to others is the first action that can realign us with a truly happy state of mind. I am not exactly sure how this works, but it may be as simple as getting beyond our own self-centered mental gymnastics, which allows us to see that we can have a positive impact on those around us.

Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour ~ Walt Whitman

When we look at Metaphysical Law we see consistently that one of the primary laws is that every thought that we think, and every word that we speak, is constantly shaping our world and our experiences. Therefore, shifting our mental paradigms from stories such as, “I will be happy when…” to stories that allow happiness now, are highly effective.

However, another primary Law of Metaphysics is that whatever we give out comes back to us multiplied. This is true with thought, but it is also true with action. I believe that this is also why being of service can quickly shift a negative paradigm of experience. When we make ourselves available for the service of others, by donating our time, energy, and resources, we are essentially saying to the Universe, “How can I serve.” Since we get back what we give out, the Universe’s response to that attitude is the same: “How can I serve.” And obviously much can be accomplished when the resources of the Universe are at your disposal!

One side note about happiness, or shifting mental stories and paradigms, is that it is unwise to simply try to cover up painful emotions using positive thinking. Our challenging emotions are often telling us something about our lives and our situations. Therefore, healing is often such a powerful part of metaphysical teaching. This means that if there is an emotion present, because of resentment or painful experience, it is valuable to seek support for such issues. However, changing the story of future happiness is one element that can drastically shift the experiences we are having in the world.