dark night of the soul
Suicide Through The Eyes Of A Spiritualist
Suicide. The topic that no one truly wants to discuss and even those who have had firsthand experience with the subject don’t want to hear about it for the most part.
In March of 2003, I was at the end of my rope and suicide was no longer something that only happened to other people. I had just ended another failed marriage. My husband had left me and later I found out he had been seeing another woman for many months before he left and everyone, except me, knew about it. My life was left in a state of shame. I had no self-esteem whatsoever, and I was confused and hurt. I was also afraid to show my face, as I thought everyone was laughing at how stupid I was not to know what they all knew. I felt I had no friends, as a true friend would have told me what was going on. I also realized I had been dependent on a toxic person. Continue reading
The Beautiful Season Of New Beginnings
Back in the Fall I posted a blog, titled Autumn Wishes, where I mentioned planting bulb, while wishing for a beautiful flower and praying for the fulfillment of a desire. At that time in October, it was my invitation for us to pause and notice the inexorable pull toward Winter Solstice. The days were growing incrementally shorter, ultimately culminating in the darkest day of the year.
But here we are now, and it is Spring again. Yes, it is the beautiful season of new beginnings, renewal and rebirth! Fresh buds are blooming, hibernating animals have been awakening and the earth seems to be coming to life again. Farmers and gardeners are now planting their future harvest, as temperatures slowly rise. Continue reading
And This Too Shall Pass
It’s been ten weeks since I looked down the 30 meter drop to see the remains of our car, with my husband groaning inside. A neighbor and I arrived at the scene the same time as the local police. They had spotted the car whilst doing their routine rounds. I, on the other hand, had asked a neighbor to take me out to search for my husband.
My husband’s brief outing to a nearby store had become a four hour and seventeen minute nightmare. Our neighbor, James, today describes those moments as “surreal.” Words which have helped me through much less traumatic times came strongly to mind that day as I gazed down, unable to access my husband. It was as if spirit was whispering them into my thoughts once again: “and this too shall pass”. I have often used this mantra when experiencing depression or a setback in my life. I am fortunate to never have experienced the deeper pit of depression that so many souls struggle with in our times. Continue reading
Be Brave My Fellow Indigo
A zealous pastor once pointed at me in front of a congregation of churchgoers and said, “You, young man, will someday go into the darkest of places and bring many souls to the Light.” At the time I did not realize that I would first have to drag myself through a dark night of the soul, before his prophecy would finally become manifest and I would be of any real use to anyone else.
As ethereal and cool as his words may have sounded at the time, the actual journey itself was certainly not a glamorous affair! Yet, I still consider myself to be one of the lucky ones.
I have been asked why my first book, Divine Living, was dedicated to “those Indigo Souls of my generation who may have lost their way.” As a formerly lost, unconscious Lightworker, and one of the seemingly misplaced New Children, it was simply my hope that my experiences might inspire others of my kind. It was my humble attempt at helping to prevent the tragedy of more of us being unnecessarily lost to humanity and our true life purpose. Continue reading
Substance Abuse Invites Evil Influences
Someone close to me has been fighting their demons for years. In my opinion such demons would relate to negative energy, or entities influencing a person who has opened themselves up, and become vulnerable to them because of substance abuse and addiction. This person’s crazy behavior has been progressive, part of which was aggression, anger and hate thoughts towards just about anybody.
Their background was dysfunctional, but not to the extent that it should change them from a relatively contented individual into a pressure cooker waiting to explode. I am now of the opinion this person was vulnerable to these lower energies because of alcohol abuse over several years. Continue reading
A Message Of Hope From Hel’s Pond
A yellow butterfly guided me to Blanke Helle, or “Hel’s Pond” during a recent visit to Berlin, Germany. It darted ahead of me all the way from the bus stop in AlboinStraße, until I reached the entrance to the park where lies forgotten, and hidden from public notice, the ancient pagan site sacred to Hela, or Hel, the Norse-Germanic goddess of death and the underworld.
I have been guided by butterflies on a regular basis over the past two years, since the first one appeared to me at the Temple of Apollo in Delphi, Greece. I was much encouraged by the sudden presence of this golden, magical creature, because it predicted that my visit to this sacred pagan site would be less somber than I had imagined. Yellow butterflies represent rebirth, new life, transformation and resurrection in several cultures. The Irish believe yellow butterflies to be an indicator of the peaceful transition of departed souls. And in Christian tradition yellow butterflies are symbolic of the Christ’s resurrection from death. They are also regarded as a sign of the presence of angels. Would Hel’s dark waters ultimately leave me with a message of hope? Continue reading
Spring Awaits Within The Sacred Circle
I was concentrating on work last night, while outside my window, without me realizing, a quiet blanket of white fell over the earth. The beauty of the quietness, the purity of the color gave a sense of all is well.
Of course, this snow puts the universe into a time of pause, a waiting time, where even the stars, the Moon, and the Earth seems suspended, still, ending movement, ending growth. Yet, underneath, the seeds and the bulbs are preparing, taking in nourishment, so that in the advent of the Spring season, sometimes even before the snow is gone, the beautiful new growths start to pop up here, there, bringing new life.
Many people wish for Spring all the time. Our lives are so busy. We wish to keep rushing, fast-paced, moving toward our goals and our dreams. We want to keep life moving as quickly as we can. Continue reading