Releasing A Toxic Relationship

Many of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.

So many excuses, so little truth.

It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.

It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.

You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.

Lots of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times, relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed ~ C. JoyBell C

Changing for another person is another a misconception. It is like your partner saying, “I will appease you in the moment.” But, give it a few weeks and the same energy will come back and many times it will come back with a vengeance! In an argument the first words out of someone’s mouth may well be, “I changed myself for you.” Which means they have held inner spite and vengeful feelings, because you expected them or made them do this.

You cannot fix someone else. They have a path to follow and when it finally gets through to them as to how it is their inner soul that needs work, they will do the work. It may not be in this lifetime, however it is still their lesson to learn. You cannot make them see this.

You should never wait for your partner to realize what they have in you. This false belief is so common and you wake up one day looking at the days, weeks, months and even years that have flown by, and you are still waiting. You cannot recoup the time that passes. Never sit around and wait for someone. Do not let your life pass you by. Live each moment to the fullest. Waiting for a toxic person is not living. Time is precious. You do not know if you will alive 5 minutes from now, so live every moment as if it was the best you can have. Don’t have regrets.

A toxic partner is most likely not you soulmate. The term ‘soulmate’ is used way too often in our society and it is not being used correctly. People assume a soulmate means they are totally meant to be together with only this person. This is another huge misconception. A soulmate simply means that your souls were connected in some way, shape or form in a past life. You could have been lovers, brothers or sisters, mother and child, father and child, or even enemies. You have several soulmates in each lifetime.

Don’t hold onto the misconception that just because you feel a certain way, the other person does too. Their connection may have ended in that last lifetime. Their path may be different from yours moving forward. Their feelings are not going to be the same as yours, just because it’s what you want. Move on and allow the next person to come into your life.

I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term? ~ Nicholas Sparks

No person is the only one. It is not true there will never be another. The Universe does not say, “I’m going to send you just one person in this lifetime, so take it or leave it.” When you release a toxic person, or relationship, or friend from your life, it opens the door for new blessings. It opens the door for someone better to come into your life – someone more loving, more trustworthy, more respectful and truthful. If you keep hanging onto that toxic person, nothing will change. You will wait in vain, while not living this amazing life you are meant to live.

When you wake up each day, tell yourself, “I am important, I am amazing and I will not let another person control my life. I take my power back and I choose to live it to the fullest.” Then look at the people in your life. If they are holding you back from your highest good, if they are constantly bringing tears to your eyes, anger to your soul, let them go. Yes, it is that simple! At times, it may mean family, which is more difficult. But choose to send them love from afar. Choose to live life in the moment with only the best people around you.

Toxic relationships are unhealthy and destructive. Period. I have released several just this past year. People with false masks, pretending to be friends have no space in my life. It was hard in the moment, however healthy for your soul.