I believe that my own tendency to compare myself with others began at a young age, when my mother would constantly compare me to my cousins. For example, she would talk affectionately about their lovely physical attributes, like their thick hair, high cheekbones or deep-set eyes. Their personalities were louder and more assertive than mine too.

I was an overweight kid, and the more withdrawn I became, the more I would eat. I felt that my overweight was seen by others as greed, but I now believe I was layering deep insecure feelings.

I now know too that I was not meant to be like my cousins. In hindsight, I thank my mother for the life lessons. Perhaps she helped me in learning about insecurity and experiencing an inferiority complex. Today, I have a much deeper understanding of how my clients feel, when they don’t feel good enough. Or, as is often the case, when they are concerned about their children not feeling good enough for whatever reason. This is not always due to faulty parenting. Parents often suffer terribly when they see their kids, whatever their ages, suffer from lack of self-esteem. They see their kids as having every reason to be super-confident, yet witness them withdrawn and unhappy.

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