kindness
The War Veteran’s Belongings
It is sad when someone dies and there is no one around to pick up the pieces; no one there to take care of one’s belongings.
There was an old man who lived in the same building as one of my clients. After the he had passed away, all of his belongings ended up scattered all over the communal storage area in the basement. The boxes had been ripped open and kicked around, and people just picked though his things and looted whatever they wanted, leaving the rest in a chaotic mess.
My client felt bad about this, because when she came upon this pilfered disarray, she noticed some items among his belongings indicating that he was a Vietnam war veteran, including a baseball cap with many pins on it, which he obviously had worked hard for. There were also many cards that people had sent him, thanking him for the gifts he brought back from Hawaii.
He had clearly been a good person, but those that lived in this building with him regarded him as a busy body who was always meddling in other people’s business. Only after he was no longer there did people begin to realize how many things he got accomplished and how many things he had actually taken care of on everyone’s behalf.
The Spiritual Power Of Your Voice
With so many talent shows on television these days, there seems to be so much singing talent all over world. The exposure created by these reality shows allows otherwise unheard of individuals to find an international platform for their gifts. Some of their voices bring us alive, others pull back our deeper layers of emotion, and some simply reduce us to tears.
There are youngsters taking the stage on some of these shows who have the voices of angels. Some have never even had a day’s professional vocal training and yet, they sing like they’ve had years of coaching to develop what is already a beautiful gift. They were clearly born with their gift. Like many inventors, and also great composers of music and literature, they bring in many lifetimes of their gifts to share with us.
My father was a singer and songwriter and had a lovely voice. He became quite famous when I was still very young. His voice would get people in a happy, nostalgic frame of mind with his sing-along compositions and, as a good-looking man, he sure got the ladies swooning with his ballads!
“If you look inside my throat and inside that of a person who cannot hold a tune, nor has quality in their singing voice, the anatomy is just the same,” he told me once. He then asked me a question, which really was food for thought: “So, where does a beautiful voice come from?”
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Empaths are givers first and foremost. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed. But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful! But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about. What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.
Maintaining A Lasting, Loving Relationship
We’ve all seen couples who have been together for many years. How do they make it last? Any relationship just beginning will feel magical when it’s in the infatuation stage. But when that’s gone, what then?
Whether it’s a friendship or a long-term partnership, keeping and maintaining a good relationship is generally a lot harder than the fairytale myth of ‘happily ever after.’ But it doesn’t have to be with the basic elements that enable relationships to stand the test of time.
Mutual Respect
Mutual respect is something everyone appreciates. Everyone loves to feel wanted, respected and loved. Avoid belittling or bullying your partner or friend, and don’t compare them negatively to yourself, or someone else. Respecting differences helps is to better see someone else’s point of view. Respect is a two-way street: don’t take too much and don’t expect someone else to give more than their fair share.
Relationships which endure are based in real love and respect. If you’ve been with someone for five years, or for 50, remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Have date nights and tell the other person that you love and respect them.
How To Keep Your Relationship Strong
Why is it that some relationships are successful, and some are not? When you fall in love your hope is obviously that it will last forever. There is nothing worse than falling for someone, only to end up heartbroken and confused about what had gone wrong, and wondering how you can go back to the way things used to be.
So, the question is, how do some relationships manage to last and stay so strong? I believe it begins with the simple things, like how we greet each other every day, for example. Making the effort to kiss our partner hello and goodbye every time we leave and arrive, is a thoughtfulness that can go a long, long way. It keeps the flame of intimacy burning so much stronger. We should also learn to say “I love you” without any restraints. Those three little words mean so much.
Sometimes of course there will be arguments in a relationship. Developing healthy conflict management skills is therefore essential. We might hit a nerve with each other, but just because we’re mad does not mean we don’t love each other. Every fight does not mean that your relationship is over. Any couple that goes the distance can rise above fights and realize what’s most important.
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
I first learned of the HALT acronym when I joined Alcoholics Anonymous many years ago. In hindsight, had I applied its simple, yet powerful technique, I might have avoided several slips along the path to my sobriety. I also realize now that the HALT concept is an integral part of loving ourselves, and it thus assists us more on our spiritual path to greater serenity.
HALT is an acronym for:
H – Never get too Hungry
A – Never get too Angry
L – Never get too Lonely
T – Never get too Tired
During one of my heavy drinking episodes, many years ago, I was working a job which required me to be away from home constantly. I was working extensive and erratic hours with a team of co-workers who were all heavy drinkers.
At this time I was subject to everything in the HALT scenario. I was often hungry, because we were pretty much on call to travel anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice. I never knew when I would next be able to eat. In hindsight, I guess I could have been better prepared with personal emergency provisions, but we were always promised that the next trip wouldn’t be so grueling.
I was also constantly angry at the company for exploiting me. The amount of erratic and long hours we slaved was not what we had signed up for.
Abundance – A Message From My Guides
Nature thrives with abundance. Notice the number of pine cones, acorns or maple keys that just one tree yields. Turtles and fish produce dozens of eggs to ensure survival. There are millions and millions of examples of abundance in nature.
Abundance is your natural state as well. Even in times of hardship, it is important to understand that there is enough for all. One need not do without in order for someone else to have their basic needs met. In addition, when you thrive, you are not preventing anyone else from achieving their highest goals.
It is incumbent upon each of you to create the world in which you wish to live. Some people are born with the proverbial silver spoon in their mouths and manage to waste everything they have been given. Some people are born into poverty, yet grow to inspire millions and effect change in the world. Regardless of your position on Earth, you can create an environment of abundance.
First, it is important for you to determine what abundance means to you. Is it wealth, health, family, friendships, a committed partnership or perhaps a combination of these and more? Once you have determined what you are dreaming about, it is important to solidify your thoughts by putting them into goals.
Visualize your desired outcome in each of the categories you have identified. Show up to help make things happen by taking small steps to get started. Make a phone call. Do some research. Join a group. Take a class. Help a neighbor. Comfort a friend. Persevere and you will see your environment start to change and improve.