kindness
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
I first learned of the HALT acronym when I joined Alcoholics Anonymous many years ago. In hindsight, had I applied its simple, yet powerful technique, I might have avoided several slips along the path to my sobriety. I also realize now that the HALT concept is an integral part of loving ourselves, and it thus assists us more on our spiritual path to greater serenity.
HALT is an acronym for:
H – Never get too Hungry
A – Never get too Angry
L – Never get too Lonely
T – Never get too Tired
During one of my heavy drinking episodes, many years ago, I was working a job which required me to be away from home constantly. I was working extensive and erratic hours with a team of co-workers who were all heavy drinkers.
At this time I was subject to everything in the HALT scenario. I was often hungry, because we were pretty much on call to travel anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice. I never knew when I would next be able to eat. In hindsight, I guess I could have been better prepared with personal emergency provisions, but we were always promised that the next trip wouldn’t be so grueling.
I was also constantly angry at the company for exploiting me. The amount of erratic and long hours we slaved was not what we had signed up for.
Abundance – A Message From My Guides
Nature thrives with abundance. Notice the number of pine cones, acorns or maple keys that just one tree yields. Turtles and fish produce dozens of eggs to ensure survival. There are millions and millions of examples of abundance in nature.
Abundance is your natural state as well. Even in times of hardship, it is important to understand that there is enough for all. One need not do without in order for someone else to have their basic needs met. In addition, when you thrive, you are not preventing anyone else from achieving their highest goals.
It is incumbent upon each of you to create the world in which you wish to live. Some people are born with the proverbial silver spoon in their mouths and manage to waste everything they have been given. Some people are born into poverty, yet grow to inspire millions and effect change in the world. Regardless of your position on Earth, you can create an environment of abundance.
First, it is important for you to determine what abundance means to you. Is it wealth, health, family, friendships, a committed partnership or perhaps a combination of these and more? Once you have determined what you are dreaming about, it is important to solidify your thoughts by putting them into goals.
Visualize your desired outcome in each of the categories you have identified. Show up to help make things happen by taking small steps to get started. Make a phone call. Do some research. Join a group. Take a class. Help a neighbor. Comfort a friend. Persevere and you will see your environment start to change and improve.
Awakening Soul To Soul
Awaken Soul to Soul, a 2012 spiritual documentary explores how the current global shift and our personal crises are an impetus to awaken to oneness. The film asks us to examine our deepest levels of connection as a solution to the problems we all face. We can’t possibly begin to solve the common ills of the world unless we realize our shared humanity and spirituality. But how to begin this journey, to awaken our own souls?
One step we can all take is to discover our own spiritual gifts and use them in constructive ways. Intuition, or ‘knowing without knowing,’ for example, is a quality we all have to some degree. Learning to listen to our intuition, or inner guidance, through practice and meditation, will connect us to our own soul, as well as that of others.
This process may involve distancing ourselves from toxicity, including people, places or things with negative energies, as well as the hectic pace and sensory onslaught of the modern world (social media, television news). The psychic part of us, like any other part of our body and soul, does not function at full effect if it is unhealthy.
Becoming aware of our own healing ability, as well as our metaphysical creativity, is also part of the awakening soul. Learning Reiki, or aura reading, for example, will develop extra-sensory gifts, while sharing them with others. Something as simple as creative journaling or free form poetry can be a spiritual release and an awakening of the subconscious.
Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?
A client recently shared with me how being honest in her work environment did not serve her best interest in the end. Being completely honest caused her to not receive her annual salary increase. She feels that had she used a lie about being ill, or even having a flat tire, as a reason for not making it to work on time, as opposed to going back to sleep after the alarm went off, she would not have had her employment record blemished. Despite meeting targets and good customer feedback during the previous twelve months, being honest had actually gone against her in this instance.
Our conversation reminded me of a similar incident I experienced myself many years ago.
My father and I had entered into business with partners on the island of Tenerife, in the Canary Islands. Whilst my father was winding up the sale of the family home, after his divorce from my mother, I’d gone ahead and rented a small apartment close to the business, whilst learning the ins and outs from the family we were going into business with.
There was a lot of building going on, in and around that area. My apartment was owned by the construction company, whose office was on the ground floor of my apartment building. On a regular basis I passed the workmen, as I entered and left the building. Despite all the construction activity, my apartment was private, secure, and surrounded by a balcony with blinds, which reached halfway down the window. Nobody from below could actually see inside.
Forgiveness Is The Solution
Forgiveness may be the path to a truly happy and fulfilled life. In his book The Forgiveness Solution, Dr. Philip Friedman puts forth the idea that all our emotional concerns, such as judgment, anger, and grievance, come from our inability to forgive. When we hold onto this emotional baggage, it harms everything. Hurt people hurt people. Taken to the extreme, it may lead to self-harm, or harm to others. But there’s a way out of this vicious cycle.
The first and most important step is to learn to forgive ourselves and develop, what Dr. Friedman calls ‘self-regulation skills.’ In essence these skills are defined by the classic Serenity prayer for courage to change what we can, acceptance of what we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. In addition, becoming wholly healthy, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, will better allow self-forgiveness.
When we engage in our daily spiritual practice, we should ideally include a mantra about forgiveness. It may take a while for the idea to take root. Habits take about 30 days to become routine, but after you’ve begun to forgive, you can let the pain go by the wayside.
Keeping a positive attitude is essential to the process of forgiveness. This doesn’t mean that you have to be happy all the time. What is does mean is that setbacks and obstacles are regarded as challenges to overcome, rather than insurmountable hurdles.
Communicating Kindness – A Message From My Guides
Our focus today is on being kind to those who are close to you and improve your communication with those you love. Sometimes people are inclined to take their loved ones for granted and speak with them entirely differently than they would speak to a stranger.
It is easy to be kind when showing genuine support and encouragement, but it can be more difficult when giving disagreeable advice, or chastising. Overall, it is much more challenging to be kind when expressing any kind of criticism. To counteract these challenges, we have three recommendations that might help.
Our first proposition is to listen actively. Many people are so compelled to answer while another is speaking that they formulate their responses without actually hearing what is truly being said. They assume that they know where the conversation is going so they miss any nuance or undercurrent within the comments being made.
Staying silent without interrupting can be very challenging, especially when you are eager to expand on positive commentary or ready to disagree with every fiber of your being. It might take an inordinate amount of practice, however, if you can master the art of listening well, people will soon think of you as a great conversationalist.
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself. Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.