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Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. You’re too sensitive. You’re making things up. No one else has ever said that about me. I get along with everyone else except you. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. Everyone says you’re crazy. I’m not cheating, so maybe you are… since you are accusing me. You are too sensitive.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you, when you have confronted them with their own issues or manipulations.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is more common in romantic relationships, but it can occur in landlord and tenant relationships, friendships, employee and employer relationships, and even in relationships with neighbors. It is basically the art of messing with someone’s mind or reality. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right in front of the person, and sometimes it is under the radar and you don’t you know who is gaslighting you, or even if you are actually being gaslighted. Continue reading
Love Turns Practical With Venus In Capricorn
For the past few weeks, Venus, the Love Planet, has been in Sagittarius where the focus was on freedom versus intimacy and commitment. Due to this, many romantic relationships have been challenged, or have been coming to an end, and there has been a theme of speaking your truth.
But a shift is coming on December 25th, when Venus will enter into the sign of Capricorn until January 17, 2018. Compared to the adventurous and free-spirited risk-taking in our love lives in previous weeks, this will usher in a more practical and goal-oriented time for romance. Continue reading
Romance And The Law Of Attraction
You are most likely familiar with the Law of Attraction and the notion that positive or negative thought will attract likewise energies or results. In other words, you ‘get out what you put out.’ But did you know that this principle applies just as much to our love lives as our work, money, and other aspects of our lives?
When looking for a romantic partner, people tend to focus on the superficial: appearance, style of dress, social status, income level, and so on. We may say that we want a mate who is active, happy, and successful. But looking in the mirror, how much do those criteria describe us? If we are lazy, unkind, or cynical, the Law of Attraction mandates that inevitably, the same type of person will be drawn to us. Continue reading
Good Old-Fashioned Dating Before Your Commit
Some of my most treasured moments have been the conversations I’ve had with folks from my grandparents’ generation. I especially like to ask elderly couples what their secret is to a long-lasting marriage, or relationship.
Their answers always put a smile on my face. Usually they would say that they slowly got to know each other, to see if they had the same values and decide if they were compatible.
Sadly, much has changed over the years. These days people no longer seem willing to put in the work and commitment it takes to build a strong foundation for a healthy, enduring relationship. Instead, we rush into romantic connections without thinking and seldom questioning the other person or their motives. Continue reading
Spiritual Awakening Is A Double-Edged Sword
Many times in my life I’ve had to move on, leaving friends, family, relationships and spouses behind, because I outgrew them. The spiritual awakening process is a double-edged sword. When we awaken, our value systems change. The shift is a blessing, but burning bridges always hurts, and often when we least expect it.
One of the most obvious symptoms of knowing we’re no longer in sync with those around us, is when we can do nothing other than listen to our inner guidance, as it gets louder and louder. And, the more we tune into it, the more authentic we become and we can’t pretend anymore. Truth and integrity take over, because those values are more in alignment with our soul.
Often, those closest to us, align themselves with their own illusion of who they want us to be. They project onto us the values they think they most admire, and choose to find these in us, as opposed to who we really are. As Maya Angelou stated so wisely, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them; the first time.” Continue reading
Navigating A New Relationship
I believe today’s society has a backward approach on love and it is causing relationships to form quickly and then go nowhere.
It’s exciting when you first meet someone new who has the potential. Feelings become intensified and the possibilities become endless on where it could all go. The problem enters when both parties initially fail to get to know each other or ask the hard hitting questions in the beginning of the relationship.
Are they looking for a short term or long term commitment? Do they still have an attachment to someone else? Do they value and want a family? How well do they handle conflict? Am I able to be myself with this person? Will we be able to compromise on the bigger issues? Will they be a positive influence in my life? Continue reading
Turn My Ship Around
Recently a trusted friend posted on my Facebook timeline a link to the Jeremy Buck song Turn my Ship Around, from the album Vibe. I had never heard of Jeremy Buck, but I clicked it and listened. The song’s lyrics reminded me of times when I felt no one listened to my concerns, when people tried to bully me, when people tried to undermine me and were being false friends. It reminded me that through those times, I ensured I found a new direction and was determined to fulfill my goals to the best of my abilities.
The song reminds us to simply “turn our ship around” when feeling that we are heading in the wrong direction. The question however is what type of ship are you in, or steering? Perhaps a Kayak, a 12ft fishing boat with outboard motor, a 35ft cruiser or speedboat, or an oil tanker or cruise ship? What kind of ship are you commanding? Continue reading