kindness
A Spiritual Approach To Chronic Complainers
Don’t complain, don’t ever complain. These are words I read in a book long ago, and they have stuck in my mind ever since. However, I certainly seem to have attracted a lot of complainers into my life – moaners and critics who have taken the very process to an art form! Amongst these individuals are family, friends and love relationships, and they are all challenging in their own way.
I have come to the conclusion that the lesson those souls have given me, is to rise above the irritation, and perhaps to try and see their predicament and unhappiness from a place of compassion. I have since managed to become less affected by other people’s groaning, because I stopped thinking that their displeasure might be my fault, or that I could ‘fix’ them and turn them from a ‘cup-half-empty’ type of person to a ‘cup-half full.’
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
I believe that my own tendency to compare myself with others began at a young age, when my mother would constantly compare me to my cousins. For example, she would talk affectionately about their lovely physical attributes, like their thick hair, high cheekbones or deep-set eyes. Their personalities were louder and more assertive than mine too.
I was an overweight kid, and the more withdrawn I became, the more I would eat. I felt that my overweight was seen by others as greed, but I now believe I was layering deep insecure feelings.
I now know too that I was not meant to be like my cousins. In hindsight, I thank my mother for the life lessons. Perhaps she helped me in learning about insecurity and experiencing an inferiority complex. Today, I have a much deeper understanding of how my clients feel, when they don’t feel good enough. Or, as is often the case, when they are concerned about their children not feeling good enough for whatever reason. This is not always due to faulty parenting. Parents often suffer terribly when they see their kids, whatever their ages, suffer from lack of self-esteem. They see their kids as having every reason to be super-confident, yet witness them withdrawn and unhappy.
I Am Responsible For Me
We all make mistakes. Each one of us has looked back on our life path and thought, if only I could go back and change it.
I wish I would have bought that house while it was still available at a lower price, because I would be on easy street by now. Or if I could go back and take that amazing job, which I did not realize was so wonderful at the time, due to my youth and inexperience, I could have retired with a huge pension and many benefits by now.
One of the biggest regret that comes up quite often, is wishing to go back and tell relatives and friends that we love them… before they passed away so unexpectedly. I have so much to say to them right now, I wish I would have said it then.
What Makes A Man Fall In Love
What makes a man fall in love? Could it be the timing? Is it certain qualities that he is looking for? Or is it just basic chemistry? I believe it is the total package that you bring to the table – the way you make him feel and the happiness that you give him when your around him.
Men bond with women when they feel successful in making them happy. He is looking for a woman with a smile, someone he feels connected to. He wants to feel attraction and passion. He wants to feel accepted and appreciated by her. When he feels that he knows he can make you happy, he will want to be with you.
A man will also fall in love with you when he feels that you’re giving him signals that you are truly looking for lasting love. It is okay to be a little vulnerable around a man, letting him see who you are. Men want to feel that you believe he is worthy of love.
Men also want to fall in love with someone who is ready to share and be receptive to them. Sometimes men are not as confident as they would like to be, so the more open and confident you are will make it easier for him to respond to what you are looking for in a relationship.
When he spends time with you and sees that you are a kind person, affectionate, fun and easy-going, he will begin to realize exactly what you mean to him. Then he won’t want to be away from you. Continue reading
Crossing Over Into Unconditional Love
Is my mom okay? Is my dad still in pain? Is my friend trying to speak to me? Is my grandmother proud or ashamed of me? Does my husband forgive me?
These are just a few of the many questions that I am asked by bereaved family members and friend, when they lose someone dear to them.
Firstly, it is important to understand that we are all spirit with a temporary physical body. And we have free will in how we choose to live our lives. Some of us choose to be kind and giving, while some are abusive and filled with anger. It is not our place to judge each other, simply to know that free will was a gift given to us before we came into this current physical body.
When I am asked these questions, the initial part of the answer is always going to be the same. The person that you lost simply left their physical body behind; their spirit never faltered. When someone crosses over, no matter who, or how, the moment of crossing is always met with pure love. Their angel reaches out a hand and when they touch the light shows them that there is nothing to be afraid of. They instantly know that the place where they are returning to is a place of light and harmony. It is a place of pure, unconditional love. Hate disappears, hurt or pain disappears. There is no shame, not disrespect. And there is only unconditional love for those that remain here on earth waiting for our turn to join them. Continue reading
The True Purpose Of Life
It is often said that the purpose of our existence is love. This is in part true, we are constantly evolving into a greater understanding of love. But this is really only half of the answer. The purpose of life is also the experience. The point of it all is to have interactions.
Yes, it is true that each of us has incarnated with a specific purpose for being here. Ultimately the purpose of life is to recognize our most authentic expression of what it means to be us, and then cultivate the freedom to express that authentic self. Love most certainly facilitates this process, but you could say a better explanation of the meaning of life is the experience itself.
We all incarnated on this planet from perfect love, and will return to perfect love. Within the realm of spirit we are all one. In fact, we are all one at this very moment. However, in the time-space paradigm, it is easy to lose touch with this Oneness of Spirit.
Each soul living on this planet has an innate desire to cultivate unique creative expression. Whether that creative expression is writing, musical expressions, serving others, cultivating human ties, and so on. Most of us incarnated with the specific intent to accomplish multiple ‘purposes.’ And so we go through life having a multitude of different kinds of experiences. Continue reading
The Life Lesson Of Unconditional Love
I was talking to a friend one day about wedding vows. She is an articulate academic, and a really deep thinker when it comes to the breaking down of words and their more profound meaning. I asked her whether she honestly saw what was coming when her pastor recited the wedding vows ‘in sickness and in health’ and ‘for better or worse’ on the day of her wedding.
“No, I did not,” she replied. “I could never have imagined the turn our path together would take. And there were well-meaning people who warned me of what might lie ahead, and asked me if I knew what I was letting myself in for. But I loved him so much that I didn’t want to know. Besides, how would I have experienced those harsh, and lonely life lessons of living with a secret drinker if I had gone with my head instead of my heart. Not to mention the role played by ‘nature’s trap’… my hormones!” Continue reading