kindness
Choosing A Spiritual Path With Heart
There are many blind choices we make when we are too young or inexperienced to make the best decisions for ourselves. We are born into a family, or raised in a culture, for example, with its unique traditions and beliefs, or lack thereof, and we are usually quite susceptible in our youth to these influences.
In the process of becoming an adult, the questioning of such beliefs and traditions leads us towards who we will become, to discovering what truly resonates with us, and what does not. But this is something we may have taken lightly in our youth, and therefore needs to be looked over several times in our life to find out with real sincerity what is truly calling us.
It is possible that being born in a traditional Christian home, for example, we felt constrained and limited, even small and powerless, ultimately causing us to reject all dogmatic religion. For someone else, brought up maybe in an atheist home, the search for God or faith may bring a profound sense of empowerment and life purpose that nurtures their life. It all depends on us as individuals, and how we process our own reality.
Carlos Castaneda writes in The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, “Before you embark on any path ask the question: does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him.”
Taking On Karmic Debt
If a person broke into my home and committed a robbery, the police would definitely be called, charges would be laid, and the ramifications of that particular act would remain in the capable hands of the legal system. Since this is a willful, intentional act, that individual deserves whatever consequences would be dished out to him.
His ongoing problem, which he may not be aware of, is that although he would be paying his penalty, perhaps with a prison sentence or something similar, he still would be accumulating also a karmic debt. This he most likely would not even consider at the time.
Karmic debts do not disappear. One must always account for them at some given time. It is a universal law that never wavers.
You would most assuredly agree with me that this kind of crime is a clear one that is easily interpreted. A person wanted what was not his. However, this did not deter him. He knowingly, on a conscience level, sought to commit an unlawful act, despite the grief and trauma it might cause his victim. His wrongdoing is plain to see and, despite restitution or an apology, profound damage was done to the owner of the property he stole.
But suppose another character committed a different kind of crime. One that was not so blatantly noticeable, however, it caused the same emotional harm to another, or possibly even worse. The person might knowingly and willingly create a scenario that leads to a series of events that becomes extremely traumatic or detrimental to another.
The War Veteran’s Belongings
It is sad when someone dies and there is no one around to pick up the pieces; no one there to take care of one’s belongings.
There was an old man who lived in the same building as one of my clients. After the he had passed away, all of his belongings ended up scattered all over the communal storage area in the basement. The boxes had been ripped open and kicked around, and people just picked though his things and looted whatever they wanted, leaving the rest in a chaotic mess.
My client felt bad about this, because when she came upon this pilfered disarray, she noticed some items among his belongings indicating that he was a Vietnam war veteran, including a baseball cap with many pins on it, which he obviously had worked hard for. There were also many cards that people had sent him, thanking him for the gifts he brought back from Hawaii.
He had clearly been a good person, but those that lived in this building with him regarded him as a busy body who was always meddling in other people’s business. Only after he was no longer there did people begin to realize how many things he got accomplished and how many things he had actually taken care of on everyone’s behalf.
The Spiritual Power Of Your Voice
With so many talent shows on television these days, there seems to be so much singing talent all over world. The exposure created by these reality shows allows otherwise unheard of individuals to find an international platform for their gifts. Some of their voices bring us alive, others pull back our deeper layers of emotion, and some simply reduce us to tears.
There are youngsters taking the stage on some of these shows who have the voices of angels. Some have never even had a day’s professional vocal training and yet, they sing like they’ve had years of coaching to develop what is already a beautiful gift. They were clearly born with their gift. Like many inventors, and also great composers of music and literature, they bring in many lifetimes of their gifts to share with us.
My father was a singer and songwriter and had a lovely voice. He became quite famous when I was still very young. His voice would get people in a happy, nostalgic frame of mind with his sing-along compositions and, as a good-looking man, he sure got the ladies swooning with his ballads!
“If you look inside my throat and inside that of a person who cannot hold a tune, nor has quality in their singing voice, the anatomy is just the same,” he told me once. He then asked me a question, which really was food for thought: “So, where does a beautiful voice come from?”
Maintaining A Lasting, Loving Relationship
We’ve all seen couples who have been together for many years. How do they make it last? Any relationship just beginning will feel magical when it’s in the infatuation stage. But when that’s gone, what then?
Whether it’s a friendship or a long-term partnership, keeping and maintaining a good relationship is generally a lot harder than the fairytale myth of ‘happily ever after.’ But it doesn’t have to be with the basic elements that enable relationships to stand the test of time.
Mutual Respect
Mutual respect is something everyone appreciates. Everyone loves to feel wanted, respected and loved. Avoid belittling or bullying your partner or friend, and don’t compare them negatively to yourself, or someone else. Respecting differences helps is to better see someone else’s point of view. Respect is a two-way street: don’t take too much and don’t expect someone else to give more than their fair share.
Relationships which endure are based in real love and respect. If you’ve been with someone for five years, or for 50, remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Have date nights and tell the other person that you love and respect them.
How To Keep Your Relationship Strong
Why is it that some relationships are successful, and some are not? When you fall in love your hope is obviously that it will last forever. There is nothing worse than falling for someone, only to end up heartbroken and confused about what had gone wrong, and wondering how you can go back to the way things used to be.
So, the question is, how do some relationships manage to last and stay so strong? I believe it begins with the simple things, like how we greet each other every day, for example. Making the effort to kiss our partner hello and goodbye every time we leave and arrive, is a thoughtfulness that can go a long, long way. It keeps the flame of intimacy burning so much stronger. We should also learn to say “I love you” without any restraints. Those three little words mean so much.
Sometimes of course there will be arguments in a relationship. Developing healthy conflict management skills is therefore essential. We might hit a nerve with each other, but just because we’re mad does not mean we don’t love each other. Every fight does not mean that your relationship is over. Any couple that goes the distance can rise above fights and realize what’s most important.
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
I first learned of the HALT acronym when I joined Alcoholics Anonymous many years ago. In hindsight, had I applied its simple, yet powerful technique, I might have avoided several slips along the path to my sobriety. I also realize now that the HALT concept is an integral part of loving ourselves, and it thus assists us more on our spiritual path to greater serenity.
HALT is an acronym for:
H – Never get too Hungry
A – Never get too Angry
L – Never get too Lonely
T – Never get too Tired
During one of my heavy drinking episodes, many years ago, I was working a job which required me to be away from home constantly. I was working extensive and erratic hours with a team of co-workers who were all heavy drinkers.
At this time I was subject to everything in the HALT scenario. I was often hungry, because we were pretty much on call to travel anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice. I never knew when I would next be able to eat. In hindsight, I guess I could have been better prepared with personal emergency provisions, but we were always promised that the next trip wouldn’t be so grueling.
I was also constantly angry at the company for exploiting me. The amount of erratic and long hours we slaved was not what we had signed up for.