indecision
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
Surrendering Your Free Will To Divine Intervention
To have free will means to have choices, to act at your own discretion. Choices in what? Well, in everything. From eating ice cream for breakfast, to establishing a humanitarian mission to support the homeless.
The ice cream is a simple choice, while the non-profit requires significant planning, a vision, a passion and purpose, as well as personal sacrifices, effort and action.
But both will have consequences. Eating deserts for breakfast may lead to weight gain and even long-term health problems. Helping the homeless will make the world a better, safer and happier place.
Between these two extreme examples, there are a myriad of life paths, choices, decisions, options, and potential experiences. It is what we call life and relationships. In all these possibilities the power of free will always exists.
You also have the free will choice in life of taking things too personally, being too controlling or demanding, being lazy or discontented, playing the victim…or living your life with courage, joy and gratitude.
One of the most prevalent challenges many people is their unwillingness to accept the principles of co-creation. To live a happier, more peaceful life we have to accept that just because we have free will in our own life choices, the world we live in is a co-creation. We do not only choose for ourselves, but we also choose everyday along with others. Every day is an act of co-creation. And not everyone always chooses the same things. We must learn to accept this.
Go with the flow? Never, you might say, I need to be always in control. I call the shots! The paradigm shift of realizing that I am spirit in a physical body is what changed it for me. Consider what your life might look like today had you more often simply trusted the Divine, Universe, God, Creator, Spirit, Source to let things unfold for the greater good, at the right time and in the right way? Well, it’s never too late to try. The results just might surprise you.
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.