spouse
When Your Child Is Your Spiritual Coach
Coming from a family who never communicated their personal feelings, I learned a lot about the importance of communication between age groups in my early teens, when I was sent to live with a Dutch family with three children for several months.
I always admired their closeness, but it wasn’t until I actually moved in with them, that I realized just how far their caring and sharing went towards feeling part of such a close knit family. They prayed together too, and included me, always asking for healing for my mother who was having treatment at the time for her ‘nervous condition.’
In later years, as a recovering alcoholic in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), I would often hear the expression, “A family that prays together, stays together.” I am sure this family has stayed close all these years, even though we have lost touch. Continue reading
Trust Your Intuition To Avoid Gaslighting
Gaslighting can be a very destructive component of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of ‘reality twisting’ or ‘crazy making’ that aims to confuse or manipulate the victim. Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship, by making the victim question their reality.
The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, in the workplace and with neighbors. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but mostly it is done under the radar and you don’t always know who is gaslighting you, or even that you are being gaslighted. Continue reading
Good Old-Fashioned Dating Before Your Commit
Some of my most treasured moments have been the conversations I’ve had with folks from my grandparents’ generation. I especially like to ask elderly couples what their secret is to a long-lasting marriage, or relationship.
Their answers always put a smile on my face. Usually they would say that they slowly got to know each other, to see if they had the same values and decide if they were compatible.
Sadly, much has changed over the years. These days people no longer seem willing to put in the work and commitment it takes to build a strong foundation for a healthy, enduring relationship. Instead, we rush into romantic connections without thinking and seldom questioning the other person or their motives. Continue reading
Hanging On To The Wrong Person
As I continue to take calls and questions from people in pain, the one common denominator in many of these questions is the effect another person is having on the caller’s life.
So many people are in relationships with the wrong person. They hang onto someone, just waiting for things to change or be different. However that is usually not what happens. People do not change for another person, and if they do, it never lasts or works out in the long run. People can only change themselves for themselves, in order to make it last.
Hanging onto the wrong person in your life – whether it be a friend, family, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, and even a boss, can hold you back from having your best and highest good in life. It can keep the amazing blessings that are waiting for you from coming in. Continue reading
Spiritual Awakening Is A Double-Edged Sword
Many times in my life I’ve had to move on, leaving friends, family, relationships and spouses behind, because I outgrew them. The spiritual awakening process is a double-edged sword. When we awaken, our value systems change. The shift is a blessing, but burning bridges always hurts, and often when we least expect it.
One of the most obvious symptoms of knowing we’re no longer in sync with those around us, is when we can do nothing other than listen to our inner guidance, as it gets louder and louder. And, the more we tune into it, the more authentic we become and we can’t pretend anymore. Truth and integrity take over, because those values are more in alignment with our soul.
Often, those closest to us, align themselves with their own illusion of who they want us to be. They project onto us the values they think they most admire, and choose to find these in us, as opposed to who we really are. As Maya Angelou stated so wisely, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them; the first time.” Continue reading
When He Disappears Into His Cave
He tells you that he loves you, always wants to be with you, and can’t seem to get enough of you. He calls and texts you all the time, and you’re feeling this is it… the perfect relationship! You love the way he makes you feel. He must be ‘the one.’ Then all of a sudden he’s gone…
He is not contacting you anymore. No calls, no texts, no dates, no nothing. What happened? Where did he go? Well he went into his ‘cave.’ That is where men go when they realize they have moved to fast, or when they feel that they are getting too attached.
Men retreat into their cave to take a break and think about what comes next. They will stay in there until they find solutions. The timing always varies for each individual guy. Continue reading
Maintaining The Connection
We may not always know or understand why we have connections with particular people, and even after they have passed it still seems vital that we keep those connections in place. Also, how we stay in touch may not be the same for each of us, it just is important that we do.
Many years ago, I had a lovely older friend named Pat, who came from a very affluent, upscale family and was certainly refined in every manner. It was noticeable in the way she dressed and spoke. Her whole demeanor exuded the firm self-confidence of someone who has been used to having the finer things in life.
Somewhere along the road, Pat fell in love with and married a rough-and-tough, stevedore-type fellow named Bill. By all appearances they certainly did not seem like a compatible couple, however, they stayed happily married, produced three offspring and had over 30 happy years together. Continue reading