conflict
Resentment And The Empath
Do you have a tendency to re-experience past injustices — real or perceived – while holding on to those old feelings of anger connected to them? If so, it means you are harboring some form of resentment. Empaths are especially prone to resentment, simply because we tap into emotions, past, present, and future, much more than most people.
Resentment forms when we become angry towards a person or situation, and then hold onto that anger. Some people harbor their resentments for many years, refusing to let go of it. Over time, whatever caused the original anger and initially led to the resentment, may be forgotten, but the resentment remains. It is like a still-smoldering ember left after the flames of a fire have subsided. The fire no longer rages, but the ember remains smoldering, and all it takes is a spark to set that fire raging again.
For the empath this rekindled ‘fire’ may be triggered every time they enter a new relationship. No harm has been done, yet, but the empath may be so on guard, and overly vigilant to any slight that resembles their past hurt, that it easily sets off another destructive blaze. They expect the worst and try to protect themselves against it, but in the process the thing they fear the most may re-emerge from the past, unhealed resentment.
For many empaths, lack of boundaries also lead to dashed expectations, typically followed by resentment. As an empath, you feel the heart of the person, and know that there is love. Once connected into the, “I know they love me,” their bad behavior can be overlooked. Continue reading
Choose Your Tribe Wisely
We need to face the fact that some people are unfriendly, heartless, and simply rude! I discovered recently why someone I know personally acts so unfeeling and uncaring towards others. She always seems so wrapped up in her own world and shows no regard for anyone else. This has brought about much dis-ease in her own family and she has also gone through numerous failed romantic relationships.
During a recent family gathering, I was observing her aura and noticed that she suffers tremendous guilt and envy of others. Meanwhile, she is always looking for acceptance and comfort from her many boyfriends, who only stick around until they find out how manipulative and vindictive she really is.
Spirit showed me that she truly hates herself and projects it onto others. She is just not happy and slowly drains the energy of those around her. They usually do not realize this until it is too late. I do wonder how those who orbit around this person can manage to stick around at all, as it seems dis-ease and drama just follows her everywhere she goes in life.
Before her sister’s funeral, she was even snapping and yelling at her youngest daughter for something as trivial as a puzzle piece accidentally dropped on the floor. I asked one of her other children how she grew up to be so loving and sweet, having been raised around that kind of negativity? She said the credit belonged to her grandparents, as well as a few other family members.
I refuse to be unkind to anyone. It is in my nature to be civil and courteous to everyone I meet. It is my motto to leave others feeling better than they were before I interacted with them. But many people, will not even smile, no matter what you say or do. Spirit says this is due to their ‘spark’ being blown out by their own bad life choices and negative thoughts. It’s a matter of free will.
Lead By Example – A Message From My Guides
Many of you lead by example, without having to think about it. You obey traffic signals. You pick up garbage if you accidentally drop it. You hold doors open for others. You smile at strangers. You volunteer. You support local charities.
Entering the second month of this new decade, it might be a good time to re-think some old habits, and also lead from within.
For example, it may be a good idea to tone down those automatic, knee-jerk thoughts of annoyance, anger or retribution when someone pushes all-too-familiar buttons. Instead of allowing the cortisol and adrenaline to skyrocket within your body, think things through, before reacting negatively. Resist the urge to speak hurtful comments, even if your basic premise is sound. Find a constructive way to get your point across.
Sometimes it is tempting to jump on the bandwagon for likes and shares on social media platforms. However, if the topic is not kind, hold your tongue. Instead, be the person who can be counted on for level-headed discourse, without vitriol.
In general, be kind to others. Give people some leeway when it is evident that they are trying their best. Catch them doing something right, instead of watching for errors and omissions. Give recognition and praise where warranted. It can mean so much and does not cost anything.
Be kind to yourself too. Banish negative self-talk. Give yourself the right to be human and allow yourself to make mistakes, without chastising yourself for an unimportant oversight. If a serious error does occur, do your best to rectify the issue in a timely manner, with a ‘note-to-self’ that you have learned from the situation and will not repeat it.
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
The Wisdom Of Supporting Others
Being kind, compassionate, supportive and treating others as we want to be treated, is important for our physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Negative energy at work and in our personal lives, can drain our energy and negatively impact the health of mind, body and soul.
Work related issues carry their own special stress, since that has a direct impact on financial well-being, as well as personal happiness. It is best to avoid the envy, jealousy, gossip and betrayal. Beware the eye-rolling, personal attacks, whispers behind closed doors, and the divulging of information that isn’t meant to be shared, as well as the ‘just plain pettiness.’
If you are the one being attacked or targeted, resist the temptation to respond in kind. A public battle of words, or ‘tit-for-tat’ gossip, will change nothing. Adding fuel to the fire will only guarantee that the battle will continue and become even more nasty.
You don’t need to be phony, but it is advisable, and always empowering, to be civil and dignified, and to stay centered. Sometimes it is best to just remain silent. Let your actions speak for you, and to your character.
You don’t need to make excuses for, or feel sorry for the other person, or the group. Just remember what your goals and purpose are. Reach beyond that, and implement an energetic and spiritual practice that will empower both yourself and others.
Choosing Peace Over Conflict
There will always be moments in life when we have to choose between peace or conflict. This was the case for me just yesterday.
About half an hour prior to the incident, I had taken my dogs for a walk in the countryside surrounding my home. Adjacent to the pathway we walked, there were a few men working in the field. I didn’t actually see them, but their car was parked up close by, and what I assumed was their lunch had been perched in a plastic bag in one of the olive trees.
Knowing that the curiosity of my dogs would be stirred by that bag of food, I kept a beady eye on them, particularly the two that were off-leash. Thankfully, the only thing my youngest dog appeared to be interested in was someone else’s medium-sized dog that was also in the vicinity of the workman’s feast. I’d assumed that this dog was with the workers, but on taking the same route this morning, I realized that he belongs to the actual farm there.
So, yesterday, after the walk, I was outside my house, when the worker’s car pulled up to my fence. Two young men got out and one of them asked, “Why did you allow your dogs to steal the old man’s bocadillo (a sandwich made with Spanish bread)?”
“They didn’t steal it?” I replied.
“Oh, but they did,” he said. “My friend here saw it happen!”
I took a moment and thought about how to handle this situation in the most peaceful and spiritually aware manner. It wasn’t such a big deal, but obviously the old man felt that he had been robbed.
Soul Friends
Soul friends are different from soulmates. Your soulmate is your romantic or life partner, the one you share your life with. Your soul friend is your best friend. Even when you haven’t talked with each other for a long time, you always seem to know what is going on with them.
We have several spiritual friendships in our lifetime. Those special friendships are part of our soul contract or life plan while we are here on Earth. Before we came here we made an agreement with certain members of our soul group to find and support each other while in this lifetime.
How do you know when someone is from your soul group? There is an instant connection right away. Your laughter, and humor, and way of thinking, just seems to fit. You immediately ‘get’ each other’s ‘vibe.’ We have more than one soul friend in every lifetime, which may even include siblings and co-workers.
Why is having soul friends important? Well, because soul friends help, support and guide us along our journey in this lifetime. You can usually talk about anything with them, without feeling judged or criticized, or feeling obligated sometimes.
As you are thinking of them, almost instantly the phone might ring and it’s them, saying that they were thinking of you and wanted to reach out. It makes our journey so much easier when we have them in our lives, because with soul friends you can be who you truly are. Continue reading