Tell-Tale Signs You Are Being Gaslighted

You’re crazy, that never happened. Don’t be so sensitive. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. It was never my idea, it was yours! Come on, you’re imagining things. Everyone else agrees, except you. You’re just making things up.

These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you. It usually happens whenever you confront them about their bad behavior, only to have your reality twisted in return…in ways that can really make your head spin!

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that most often shows up in toxic romantic relationships, but it can also manifest in dynamics with friends, coworkers, employers, family members, and even neighbors and landlords.

At its core, gaslighting is the manipulation of your sense of reality, leaving you confused, anxious, and doubting yourself and your own perceptions. Sometimes it’s very obvious and unmistakable. Other times, it happens so subtly you may not even realize you’re being manipulated.

The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, which was later made into the 1944 film of the same name.

In the story, a husband tricks his wealthy wife into thinking she’s going crazy by making small changes to their surroundings, like dimming the gas lights, and then denying that anything has changed. His goal is to make her doubt her own sanity, so he could have her committed to a mental institution and gain control of her inheritance.

As a psychic reader, I often encounter clients who are grappling with confusing or painful relationship dynamics. Many times, their stories also point unmistakably to the presence of gaslighting.

I’ve seen a lot of examples of this type of manipulation in my readings, and it’s really more common and harmful than people often understand. It also made me realize how important it is to recognize when this is happening to you, whether in your personal life, at work, or online. The digital age makes it easier for manipulative behaviors to play out in subtle, widespread ways.

Here are some key signs that often indicate you may be experiencing gaslighting:

Self-Doubt

You begin second-guessing everything. The gaslighter insists you’re misremembering events, exaggerating, or outright making things up. They may claim others agree with them, using fictitious consensus to undermine your credibility. They might deliberately set you up to look forgetful, overly emotional, or unstable in front of others. Privately, they may berate you until you break down, and then publicly accuse you of overreacting. Over time, you start to believe that maybe you are the problem.

Confusion

You find yourself questioning your memory or interpretation of conversations. You start to feel like you’re going crazy. Even simple decisions feel paralyzing without reassurance. You doubt yourself more than you ever have before.  You try harder to please, walking on eggshells, desperate to avoid setting them off. But the target always moves.

Uncertainty

You’re more anxious, more insecure, more dependent than you used to be. You struggle to make even simple choices. You feel like you can’t trust your own judgment. Although deep down you suspect you’re being manipulated, you can’t help wondering if you’re simply imagining things.

Rationalization

You make excuses for their behavior. You tell yourself they didn’t mean it, or they’re under stress. You lie to others to protect their reputation. You start to normalize what once seemed unacceptable.

Dysphoria

You start fantasizing about escape. A different life. A different version of you. Anything to get away from the mental fog and emotional pain. You feel weighed down, like your spirit is slowly being crushed.

Depression

You feel unhappy, anxious, and disconnected from yourself. You remember a time when you felt joy and clarity, but that feels far away now. Your internal compass has been distorted. That persistent tightness in your chest or stomach? It’s the body’s response to chronic stress and emotional trauma.

Isolation & Dependency

You rely more on their version of reality than your own. They have alienated you from friends and family, constantly criticize your support system, or create drama to drive a wedge between you and others. Over time, they have become your sole emotional reference point.

Shame

You begin to internalize the idea that you’re too sensitive or too emotional. Gaslighters often apologize with blame baked in, saying things like, “I’m sorry you’re so easily offended,” or “I’m sorry that the truth hurts you.” These phrases sound like apologies but are actually designed to make you feel defective.

Invalidation

You feel ‘less than,’ unimportant and your needs and opinions minimized. Your emotions are constantly dismissed. You’re told you’re overreacting or being too dramatic. When you express hurt, they suggest you’re too fragile to handle the truth. Instead of offering comfort, they double down with smug indifference or mocking remarks.

Paranoia

The constant lies leave you wondering if anything you’re told is true. You may begin to mistrust others too, withdrawing from loved ones out of fear or embarrassment. You stop sharing details about your life because explaining your situation feels exhausting, or because you’re afraid people won’t believe you.

Fear

Gaslighters often rely on fear to maintain control. They may raise their voice, threaten to leave you, withhold affection, or use guilt to keep you compliant. You may find yourself apologizing constantly, even when you haven’t done anything wrong.

Psychosis

You feel like you’re losing touch with reality. The gaslighter may deny ever saying things you clearly remember, or change their preferences on a whim and punish you for not keeping up. One day they insist they love strawberries. The next day they claim they hate them and accuse you of being thoughtless for offering them. You’re chastised for making wheat spaghetti because they’re allergic, then criticized for making rice pasta because they “only eat wheat.” Your reality is constantly being rewritten.

If any of this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone, and you’re not imagining things. Part of the gaslighter’s manipulation is to make you feel like you can’t escape. That you won’t find another partner. That you can’t get another job. That you are too weak to make it on your own.

None of that is true. You are strong. You are capable. And you are worthy of love, clarity, and peace.

Start by confiding in someone you trust. Find support, whether that’s a friend, therapist, psychic, or online community. Someone who can help you remember who you truly are. Someone who will remind you that you are not crazy, and that your experiences are real.

The person who gaslights you is not doing so out of strength, but out of deep-seated insecurity and self-loathing. Truly confident people uplift those around them. They celebrate your wins and offer comfort in your lows. They do not belittle, manipulate, or confuse.

Gaslighting is not love. It’s control masquerading as concern. It’s cruelty disguised as honesty. Life is too precious to be lived in someone else’s distorted mirror. You deserve to feel seen, heard, and safe. You deserve better.