Navigating Grief Without Losing Yourself

In my work as a psychic reader, I have worked with many people navigating grief. Over the years, I have witnessed how people process loss and transition differently.

I have often had to guide clients toward grounding, self-trust, and setting compassionate boundaries. And, as life would have it, I recently had to draw on that wisdom and apply it to my own family.

My father was recently admitted to hospice care at his local nursing home after spending a week in the hospital. His prognosis was poor.

As our family transitioned to this new phase of care, I stayed in touch with loved ones and made decisions centered on his comfort and dignity.

At the same time, I made a conscious effort to protect my emotional energy and maintain healthy boundaries so that I could stay grounded.

In these circumstances  I’ve been grappling with a kind of grief that isn’t often acknowledged: the grief of realizing someone you love is no longer the person they once were.

Even when they are physically present, the relationship shifts. There can be a quiet heartbreak in adjusting to the present while remembering the past.

There is also grief in watching a family reorganize itself. During times of transition, long-standing dynamics often change. Some family connections deepen and some relationships no longer operate as they once did. This can also feel like a loss in terms of shared understanding and how things “used to be.” Sudden changes in family circumstances tend to reveal where everyone actually stands.

These are the very patterns I have witnessed in reading after reading over the years…how illness, traumatic events or major life shifts do not just affect one relative, but ripple through the entire family system. Experiencing it myself again recently has given me a renewed respect for how layered and humbling grief can be.

I believe the hardest part of healing after losing someone you love is to recover the “you” that went away with them ~ Kelly’s Treehouse

There is a profound difference between understanding grief in theory and experiencing it firsthand.

What can a person going through grief do to support themselves when differences of opinion exist about how to care for a loved one? By simply grounding themselves, they can begin to provide self-support and self-love.

Over the weekend I practiced self-care by taking an Epsom salt bath, practicing deep breathing, and spending time with my pet. Later that afternoon, I chose to spend quiet time with another family member sharing the same grief. Meanwhile, I continued to maintain boundaries with those family members I sensed might not fully accept the very difficult choices I had to make.

When we embrace quiet time, slow our schedules down, and pay attention to the divine spark always present around us, we ground ourselves for reactions that may arise from family members who have weaker boundaries and unintentionally exhaust our resources.

We can choose to use that time wisely to honor our loved one’s memory by journaling, reflecting, and identifying synchronicities in our environment that lend a hint as to how to proceed with next steps.

Since my dad entered the hospital nine months ago and began his nursing home journey, I have been swamped with paperwork and responsibilities as his legal guardian. Stepping away and creating that respite time has kept my sanity intact. I am grateful that I made the decision to honor my own spiritual sacred space.

It is vital to resist the temptation to do everything perfectly while grieving. One will not be able to please everyone during the process, and should never be expected to, even outside of loss. The grieving process is deeply individual and is not solely about releasing sadness or anger. Many positive emotions and treasured memories arise alongside the painful ones.

All in all, do not be afraid of grief. It is a powerful healing elixir for the most vulnerable times in our lives. Grief is an energetic tonic that allows healing to occur. Without the ability to grieve, we cannot truly heal.

Over the years, I have come to understand that grief is not something to “get through.” It is something to move with. And when we allow it to move through us consciously, it can transform us.

We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, to find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad ~ John Green

Below are a few of my go-to tips for navigating the grieving process, which I will be relying on myself in the coming weeks:

Create A Boundary Ritual: Instead of simply telling family members you need space, create a small energetic ritual before engaging with them. Light a candle, say a brief intention, or visualize a protective sphere around your body. This signals to your nervous system that you are supported.

Schedule Grief Time: Rather than trying to suppress emotions during busy days, intentionally schedule time to sit with your grief. When you give it space, it often becomes less intrusive.

Ground Yourself Physically: Walk barefoot outside, hold a warm mug of tea, or press your feet firmly into the floor. Physical grounding helps stabilize emotional overwhelm.

Practice Meditation: Even five to ten minutes of quiet breathing can help calm the nervous system and create inner spaciousness. Meditation allows you to observe your emotions without becoming consumed by them. It reminds you that while grief moves through you, it does not define you.

Turn to Prayer: Whether formal or conversational, prayer can offer profound comfort. Speaking your fears, gratitude, or confusion aloud to God, Source, Spirit, the Divine creates a sense of connection and surrender. You do not have to carry everything alone.

Write a Letter You Don’t Send: Write freely to your loved one or to a family member with whom you are in conflict. Say everything. Do not mail it. The release itself is healing.

Allow Mixed Emotions Without Judgment: Relief, gratitude, resentment, peace, and sorrow can coexist. Grief is rarely pure. Many seemingly contradictory emotions can be true at the same time.

Notice Signs and Synchronicities: Feathers, songs, repeating numbers, or dreams can offer comfort and meaning during times of transition. Stay open to subtle reassurances.

Rotate Your Support Network: Do not lean on only one person. Spread emotional processing among friends, spiritual advisors, therapists, or support groups to avoid burnout for yourself and others.

Make A Small Change in Your Living Space: Rearrange a chair, buy new bedsheets, or move a photo. Small environmental shifts help the psyche register that life is transitioning.

Release The Timeline: There is no “correct” duration for grief. Healing is cyclical. Anniversaries, seasons, and unexpected triggers may bring waves back.

Grief is not an enemy. It is evidence of love. It asks us to slow down and honor both our flawed humanity and our divine spiritual nature. And above all, as I am gently reminding myself during this difficult time: tending to your own spirit while grieving is not selfish. It is sacred.