When Tempers Flare – A Message From My Guides

These are very uncertain times. The planet has been engulfed with worry due to the rampant spread of the novel coronavirus. Some regions of the planet have been harder hit than others, and some areas have been unable to maintain a tight control over the spread of this new disease.

In addition to the illness itself, both financial and food insecurities are now affecting many more households. Businesses are being forced to close. People have lost their employment. Some positions have ceased to exist altogether. Government stimulus and rescue funds have been helpful, but in some cases, have not been received in a timely manner.

The stress on individuals and families trying to keep their heads above water has been monumental.

Meanwhile, the work demands placed on medical professionals, frontline workers and first responders have intensified at a rapid speed. For many their hours of duty have seemed endless and their personal risks and sacrifices are significant. They are being thrown into worst-case scenarios that would not have seemed imaginable only a few short months ago. They have further been hampered by the lack of supplies, and the overwhelming numbers of people infected in a relatively short period. The stress faced by these professionals has been relentless.

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world ~ Jack Layton

Furthermore, daily routines for parents and children have been turned upside down. Schools are closed and not all children have access to online learning. Teachers have tried their best, but they too have been stymied by a lack of equipment and infrastructure in some places, plus the unfamiliar nature of home schooling. In addition, many children no longer have the guarantee of school lunch programs. The stress on parents and their kids is rising to a crescendo.

All of these examples, and many, many more translate into a growing undercurrent of anger, frustration and fear. Some people are able to handle this new normal better than others, in spite of their internal feelings. Others appear to be out of control and overreact to the least perceived slight.

Unfortunately, stress can have a very negative effect on mental and emotional health with civility sometimes being stretched to the breaking point. Therefore, things can be said among loving family members and friends, as well as between total strangers, in a tone that often skyrocket already tense feelings in the listener.

Wherever possible, try not to exacerbate the situation, because many things may be said from a place of fear or frustration, with unintended and far reaching repercussions. We implore you to do your best to help one another during these stressful times. Try to curb the desire to respond in kind to minor affronts. Avoid escalating a normally unimportant situation.

Explosive anger can really hurt your relationships with your spouse, kids, family, and friends. It causes lasting scars in the people you love most, and it can get in the way of resolving conflicts ~ Alexis G. Roldan

Whenever possible, take a deep breath and pause before reacting. Show empathy if appropriate. Listen beneath the surface of what is being said. Rise above the situation to the best of your ability. Be kind. Apologize when you suspect that you might be even slightly in the wrong.

Treat yourself with gentleness too. Understand that you might be overreacting and resolve to do better. Mend fences. Find some humor to lighten the your mood. Carve out a few minutes of solitude to think. Express gratitude for what you do have.

Give yourself some leeway to be human under these very trying circumstances and trust that you will prevail. Take care of yourself and others.