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The Pitfalls Of Anger For The Empath

Get a free psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comOf all the emotions that empaths experience, the most powerful and potentially destructive feeling is anger. Of course, anger can be destructive to everyone, but for the empath it can be especially potent. The reason for this is that empaths feel first, and react, then think later.

The more intense the emotion the deeper the connection. The initial response for empaths is either to react with equal force to the anger, which often involves a very intense and potentially catastrophic outburst, or for the introverted empath to run or flee the immediate area or person emitting that energy. Many of these highly sensitive souls will burst into tears at what appears to be inappropriate moments for no reason.

Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath ~ Eckhart Tolle

Because it is very common for empaths to be aware of feelings, emotions or situations, before others are aware themselves, anger becomes very complicated. If the other individual is a partner in a romantic relationship, anger can become a land mine. Ditto if it is a co-worker. Partners and co-workers can begin to pull back, attack or avoid altogether. This only fuels the anger that the empath is feeling and increases the stress and anxiety. An empath under extreme stress is like a caged tiger – pacing, miserable and just waiting to pounce, or escape.

Headaches, ulcers, high blood pressure or turned inward depression, insomnia, digestive issues all are possible physical results for the empath who cannot effectively process anger.
When I started doing readings I learned very quickly what unprocessed anger from others can do. Empaths “step into” the feelings of others and regardless of what is being said we will feel what is really going on. Old anger feels very heavy and turns into bitterness or resentment – extremely unpleasant.  Fresh pain has a much “hotter” feel to it, much like standing to close to an open flame.

First and foremost, remember that anger is very often at the core about fear. If you as an empath can take a breath and go beyond the surface many times you will feel the shift to fear or pain.  The anger is just acting like a shield from fear or further pain. It has no potential to harm you unless you step into its direct path; take it on as your own; or feed it with your own reactions and emotions. Think of it as a fire that requires oxygen to thrive.

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die ~ Malachy McCourt

Empaths are gifted healers and your calm reaction to anger can have a very powerful effect on others, as well as yourself. You as an empath must calm yourself first and the fastest way to do this is to remind yourself that is isn’t coming from you, but through you. This allows you to step back and observe what you are feeling and seeing and cut to the root of it. If it is a romantic partner this is especially important for the empath.  Bring the energy of compassion, respect, willingness and love to the forefront. If it is a co-worker then less is more. Your unspoken energy of compassion, peace, respect and calm can quickly calm any angry energy.

About The Author: Angelic Heights

Empathic, intuitive, psychic from a very young age, Angelic Heights (Gail) learned well the importance of using her gifts for the highest good. Marriage and a career in the paralegal field occupied her until her early 30's. Accurate, compassionate and direct, her focus now is entirely on enlightening, uplifting, inspiring and guiding those who seek her counsel. Get a reading right now with her at

16 Responses to The Pitfalls Of Anger For The Empath

  • This is the absolute best description of an Impath, I was born with this gift, after 60+years” I finally have a clear definition and I now accept my gift, this post is a true blessing for me, Namaste

  • I feel so terrible b/c I just had an anger outburst with my brother. I’m still trying to figure out if I am in the empath category but after my huge blow-up, I was sure that anyone who could act like that, wouldn’t be an empath. Thanks for the article. It applies to all types of people, I think.

    It really helps me in particular since I have struggled with this all of my life. My family doesn’t seem to understand me, so I usually keep it bottled up inside. When I do tell them, they don’t see the situation I do and tell me I am over sensitive and dramatic. Why? Because I don’t believe in treating each other badly? Every day the past week, I have cried due to something that my brother has said. But is it really his fault? Or mine for reacting to it? How do you deal with a person who gives you a bad attitude, tells you to shut-up, and deliberately tries to hurt your feelings on a day to day basis? I realize this is toxic, but I cannot leave this living situation right now unfortunately. He is a good, kind-hearted person when he is not resenting me. But when he is, I can’t seem to figure out why, he will not communicate it to me, and we just go around in circles of him verbally attacking me and me trying to ignore it until I can’t anymore and I explode. I want to know what to do to help out a stop to this. It’s effecting my health, mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

  • It helps a lot to go to Therapy for anger management. I’m not only an empath but a double minority: Asian American and Gay–I spent my life excelling in school and in every job BUT I’ve lost all those jobs due to some kind of anger outburst. I’m in a new job and excelling once again but within my first two weeks already had run-ins with not one but THREE staff members! Most empaths are diagnosed with ADHD so I also suggest to get medicated on a short term basis until you’ve trained yourself to control your emotions and impulsiveness, all of which are destructive personally and professionally. I want to keep this job so I’m continuing therapy, wear Crystals(I believe in crystal healing) and also have gone back to Church. Each empath need to find their vehicles for CLEANSING that works for them.

  • Is there a way to mute or get rid of empathy? It’s ruining my life and I can’t take it anymore. I am miserable. I cry everyday. I yell at my kids. I am so unhappy and I just want to be normal. My marriage is on its last thread. How can I get control of “gift “?

  • Mary…embrace your gift. You can rid your pent up emotions by breathing. Go outside before anyone wakes up. I meditate at 4am…GOD. Demands my time…to speak to me… you breathe in its positive energy as you exhale its releasing negative energy. Take your quiet time….as I say BEFORE THE NATIVES. GET RESTLESS…

  • I agree with Mary. I just wish it would go away forever. Just ended my second marriage to a narcissist. I am just done.

  • Being an empath sucks. People are so mean and it will never stop because of the freedom of choice. Keep your gift to yourself and bury it. People will only use you until you have no use or benefit anymore.

  • I feel like my life is coming to a screeching halt. I’ve had enough of healing and helping others. people seem to forget that I have feelings and needs as well. I’m the strong woman, empath, confidant and comedian of all my social groups but they forget I have feelings. I get it I can take a lot but my cup runneth over. It’s like people take and take until there’s nothing left of me. So it feels like I’m running low on fuel. It’s like they’ve taken the joy from me.

  • I cannot digest someone’s negativity and I feel, absorb their energy, letting them have it. It’s like, don’t take your negative energy, tone out on me. It’s especially frustrating if you see them act differently with you and nice to others. I internalize that. It’s a gift and curse when picking up on energies from people even if they don’t say a word. I’m learning to trust my gut, something I’ve been taught, as the scapegoat in my family, to second guess. Do any of you give it back to people who act or talk rudely with you? It’s very hard to not ingest their tone or demeanor as personal when it’s coming my way. Thanks

  • A very fine and delicate thread is what seprated an empath from narcissist. The transition can happen quite easily .

    If you have high IQ then morality description can vary too .

  • Very accurate post. I stated years ago that the way to stop myself from feeling pain was through anger. I’ve used it through physical and emotional trauma as a coping mechanism. When no longer needed I was lost.

  • I’m wondering the ages of the ones who are angry with being empathic. I totally get it. However, I’m older, now 42, and I feel like the older you get, the more you understand about yourself, how you can help others and how to navigate these crazy emotions. Don’t get me wrong. Being an empath is so very frustrating, But I’ve learned that I enjoy the pay off for loving on others, trying to stay positive and trying not be a victim but rather see what I could have done to handle my reactions to pain better. I can sense the desperation from those who are angry with being an empath and my heart goes out to them. Then again, I wouldn’t be an empath if I didn’t. I believe maturity and life lessons bring more understanding about being an empath.

    My husband literally used the term “land mine” TONIGHT when describing how I make him feel due to my angry outbursts. I’m finally seeing I have an anger problem. So, instead of being a victim to his inability to understand my frustration and having angry outbursts, I’m going to focus on myself and how to manage my own frustrations. We HAVE to take responsibility for our own actions. Good luck my friends.

  • Like others mentioned above, this is a ‘gift’ I don’t wish upon my worst enemy. I have been drained of time, energy, resources by Narcissists & Sociopaths. My nervous system has gone haywire, Fibromyalgia, Overactive Bladder, Migraines. In the words of my ex Narcissist girlfriend ‘you teach people how to treat you’. In the words of the Narcissist ex girlfriend after her (I didn’t learn the first time) ‘you come into this world alone, & you leave this world alone’. Thanks O wise Narcs…

  • I still struggle on whether or not I am an empath. Many of the traits perfectly describe me but I still struggle to put a label on it. However I am thinking that I need to because I need to start understanding myself and the best way to do that is to research the why’s which has led me here. I am definitely an emotional empath. And the talk on anger speaks loudly to me. I first feel, I react and then I think….and think….and think….and regret. Not that I am saying my anger was unjustified but many times the action/react is what is unjustified. I have struggled to like myself over the years and have often felt I didn’t belong. Which has lead to failed marriages, bad relationships, guilt, depression, on and on and on.
    I want to love me, and in order to do that I need to learn more about me. I truly feel I may have finally started towards the answers.

  • I feel all sorts of things I feel like I can feel when someone will harm my children like I’m seeing through they’re eyes and i can feel peoples pain, I’m just not very educated on using this gift yet, but I get low energy around some people negative around others and can kinda feels like I hear them sometimes as well is that possible?

  • I recently learned that I’m an empath. I have always struggled with anger issues and out bursts. Insecurities also. Is there other tools other than meditation? I really love my wife. But lately it’s been a real struggle.

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